Page 37 of The Havenport Collection

Cecelia

W e got to the hospital in record time thanks to an assist from the Havenport Police Department. Officer Mitchum put his sirens on and led us through town at high speed. I was going to have to bake some thank you muffins and drop them off at the police station this week.

We got to the ER and found Mrs. Quinn slumped in a chair next to Callum while Declan paced around the waiting room like a feral animal.

Liam looked dazed. I squeezed his hand.

“What’s happening?”

“They just took him to surgery.”

“So it was his heart?”

Mrs. Quinn looked up with tear-filled eyes.

“Yes. The doctor didn’t say much. Just that they needed to operate before his heart sustained too much damage.

Those wonderful EMTs gave him CPR.” She could not contain her tears and began to weep.

Growing up, Mrs. Quinn was always a very stoic woman.

Seeing her like this, so small and frail and scared, broke my heart.

Liam walked over and embraced his mother. Callum put his arm around them and then Declan came in and completed the family hug. It tugged at my heartstrings to see the four of them so scared yet drawing strength from one another.

I vividly remembered what it was like going from a happy family of four one day to being a grieving family of three the next.

I sat down, not wanting to call attention to myself.

This was the same ER where we sat after my dad’s accident.

With the same flickering fluorescent lights and the same ripped pleather couches.

Where we waited and waited for any crumb of information we could find.

We were sitting down to dinner when we got the call.

I was a moody thirteen-year-old going through my goth phase, and I remember painting my fingernails black at the dinner table while my mom made dinner and asked us about our days.

My dad had been driving home from work when his car was T-boned at a stop light.

The other driver was drunk and unharmed.

They were trying to stabilize Dad, but he had lost a lot of blood.

My mother sat on that couch with my head on her lap for almost two days.

I was thirteen, but I curled up in mom’s lap like a baby.

I remember my grandmother coming and trying to take us home, but we refused to leave.

We refused to give up hope. Sitting in this room eighteen years later, I could still feel the numbness that consumed my body.

Sometimes, I would sleep in a weird position and I would wake up and my arm was numb.

Sitting in the waiting room, I remember feeling that numbness throughout my body.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t walk. I could barely get up to go to the bathroom.

It was like every cell in my body shut down. Grief shut me down.

When the doctors came out to pull Mom into another room to tell her he had died, I remember they wanted Maggie and me to stay in the waiting room.

But we refused. The three of us got the news together.

They told us they did everything they could, including multiple surgeries and blood transfusions.

But the internal injuries were too severe.

He was gone. And just like that our entire lives changed.

I fought back my own tears. I was drowning in my own grief, and I wanted to leave so badly. I hated this place. It was too hard to sit here. But I couldn’t leave Liam. I cared about him too much.

Callum was scrolling on his phone trying to research every potential diagnosis.

Declan paced and occasionally growled, shooting him dirty looks.

And Liam bustled around fetching cups of coffee, texting family and friends, and locating a phone charger for his mother.

Typical Liam—he could not sit still, instead wanting to fix everything and help out as much as he could.

Even in times of crisis, Liam just wanted everyone to be safe and comfortable.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he picked up a mop and started mopping the floors, just to keep busy.

“Maybe we can request he be airlifted to Boston. I just researched the best heart surgeons and there are a few possibilities.”

Mrs. Quinn shushed him. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Callum. Let’s see what the doctors have to say.”

I sat there awkwardly, watching them all cycle through hope, confusion, and fear.

“Cecelia, come here,” Mrs. Quinn gestured, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you for getting Liam here so quickly, and thank you for being here with us.”

She pulled me closer and then whispered into my ear, “I know how hard this must be for you.”

I nodded into her bony shoulder and tried to keep my tears from exploding out of my eyes. Liam grabbed my hand and we sat there, hugging, crying, and hoping for good news.

After several hours and a dozen cups of shitty coffee, we were finally given an update.

A weary-looking doctor called us into a dingy office at the end of the hall. Mrs. Quinn signaled for everyone to file in quietly, and no one objected.

“Mrs. Quinn.” He took a deep breath. “Your husband suffered cardiac arrest due to a massive blockage of the left anterior descending artery. This caused his heart to stop beating normally and go into cardiac arrest. This blockage prevented his heart from receiving oxygen-rich blood, which resulted in damage to his heart tissue.”

He paused to let this news sink in.

“The good news is, we were able to remove the blockage in surgery and inserted a stent into the artery.”

“That’s wonderful!” Mrs. Quinn exclaimed.

“Is he awake yet?”

“Should he be transferred to a cardiac ICU in Boston?”

The doctor tried to contain the rapid-fire questions.

“Please let me continue. Although the surgery was successful, we do not yet know how extensive the damage to his heart is. He is still under anesthesia, and we will need to do more tests and perhaps another surgery to determine his future prognosis.”

“Because he received prompt medical care, his odds are good. In common parlance this incident is referred to as a ‘widow maker’ because it is one of the most deadly types of heart attack.”

All the faces in the room fell, processing the gravity of what could have happened. “Oh my God.” Mrs. Quinn fully broke, descending into tears. Liam held her in his arms as she sobbed and shook.

“How soon can we see my dad?”

“He is in recovery now, and he will be transferred to a room in the cardiac unit in the next hour or so. I will have a nurse escort you up to that waiting room.”

Callum reached out to shake the doctor’s hand. “Thank you, doctor. Thank you.” Declan walked a shaking Mrs. Quinn out the door.

I slipped my arm around Liam’s waist and felt him exhale. He held me close and rested his chin on the top of my head. We stood in the hallway, clinging to each other for a few minutes. “Liam, I am so sorry.”

He slipped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. He gently kissed the top of my head, and I briefly closed my eyes, feeling the last of my defenses crumble. “Thank you for being here. For me and for my family. It means so much to me.”

“There is no place I would rather be.” And I meant it. I wanted to be by Liam’s side forever. There was no use pretending I hadn’t fallen in love with the man. That I was not head over heels for him. I knew in my bones that he was it for me.

And I was fucking terrified. My heart slammed in my chest as the realization spread throughout my body.

This man was going to break my heart, and there was no going back.

He held me close, so close that I could feel his heart beating beneath his sweatshirt.

But my mind was so far away. All the emotions I had bottled up for years were bubbling up inside me, threatening to escape.

My mind was reeling, my heart was racing, and I could not keep up.

I had no idea if he felt the same way. I knew he liked me and liked being with me.

But he was clear, just as I was, that this was a casual short-term thing.

And at the very core, we were friends. And I loved his friendship.

And I knew he appreciated mine, especially right now.

But that didn’t mean he wanted more. I couldn’t dump all these wild emotions all over him while his father was in the hospital.

I couldn’t force him to talk about the future when he didn’t even know if his father would live.

So I had to do what I’d always done—lock it down and pretend everything was fine.

He straightened up and looked at me. He gave me a weary smile and then took a step back, putting a wide gulf between us. “It’s after one a.m. You should go home and sleep. I’m going to stay here for when he wakes up.”

And just like that I felt dismissed. I felt sidelined. Of course he doesn’t need me here. I stumbled. “Sure. If that’s what you want. But I could stay if you need me.”

“No. I think we’re good now. I’ll text you with any updates once he wakes up.”

And just like that every insecurity swirled up within me. Of course he wants me out of here. I’m not family. I’m not anything. I’m just his casual fuck buddy. I need to go home and regain my dignity.

I adjusted my purse on my shoulder and turned to say goodbye to the Quinns.

“Oh, Cece, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Can you stop by the brewery tomorrow and check that Trent and Kyle cleaned and sanitized all the equipment? And can you email me the latest numbers from Gourd Fest?”

And just like that I’m an employee again.

“ Okay, will do.”

I started to walk down the long corridor toward the parking lot. “And Cece?” he called out, and my heart leapt into my throat. I turned around.

“Thank you for everything.”

I wanted to run into his arms and tell him I loved him. Tell him I wanted to stay with him forever. Tell him I would hold his hand through the good times and bad forever and ever. But instead I nodded and walked to my car.