Page 250 of The Havenport Collection

Matteo

I had Eliza on the brain. If I had my way, I’d have her on my dick as well, but I knew that was an unrealistic wish since it was ten a.m. and I was up to my eyeballs in things to do.

My mind had not been at work this week; it had been fully wrapped up in Eliza.

And I was having so much fun. She still babysat Val for me, but I was cutting out early to come home and hang out with them.

And then, after Val was fast asleep, we would get naked.

I was sleep-deprived and sex drunk, and suffice it to say I had never felt better.

She had liberated something inside of me, something that had been gone for too long.

I felt like myself again—the Matteo who took risks and dreamed big and wasn’t afraid to go after what he wanted.

I thought that man was gone, but Eliza brought me back.

Her humor, her kindness, and her sassy attitude were slowly changing me from a grumpy bastard into a slightly less grumpy bastard.

Keeping things quiet was a challenge, since I wanted to parade her around town and shout from the rooftops that she was mine.

But I couldn’t do that. The last thing I needed was to hurt Valentina, and if I was being honest, I really didn’t want the small-town gossip and judgment that came with pursuing a much younger woman. Quiet was good.

I chopped fresh basil—at this point I was on autopilot, my body knowing the rhythm of the knife against the cutting board.

I could completely zone out and my hands knew what to do—bunch, chop, turn, chop, push into the prep container, grab the next bunch, and do it all over again.

I could chop in my sleep. Onions, garlic, herbs, carrots, you name it, I could chop, slice, or julienne it blindfolded.

I was most comfortable in a kitchen with a knife in my hand. And today I felt unstoppable.

It was Saturday morning, and I was prepping in the kitchen for the weekend.

The majority of our business was take-home items, and the refrigerator cases had to be stocked with options for the weekend.

Over the years, I had gathered enough data to know what the citizens of Havenport were eating for dinner before they did.

Gio helped me, creating spreadsheet and pivot tables, learning when certain items sold best and others did not.

It helped streamline my ordering, eliminate waste, and cut costs.

As much as he was a surly pain in my ass, I don’t know how I’d survive without him.

Because Saturday mornings were prep time, he took Val every single week, taking her to soccer or martial arts, and keeping her fed, entertained, and safe for hours after.

He had always sworn he didn’t want kids—that he wasn’t cut out for fatherhood—but I think he was full of shit, because he doted on Val.

He was constantly sending me videos of things she did and burst with pride every time he talked about her.

As close as we were, I didn’t quite know what his deal was.

Any idiot with eyes knew he was still hung up on Sam, his childhood best friend.

They were inseparable growing up and even went to the same college.

Something happened, and she joined the Peace Corps and has spent the last twenty years traveling the world helping people.

My brother, on the other hand, has spent the last twenty years frowning and sleeping around.

My thoughts were interrupted by Nick, the kitchen manager. “What’s up with you, boss?” he said, buttoning up his whites.

I shrugged. “Good morning to you too.”

“You’ve seemed less pissed off than usual this week. You’re not even scowling right now. It’s more of a light frown.”

I put the knife down and glared at him. “I don’t scowl.”

Nick laughed. “You scowl constantly. You are the fucking prince of scowls.”

I threw a dishrag at him.

“I’m happy for you, boss. I assume you finally got your head out of your ass and asked out that pretty girl who was here a few weeks ago?”

I avoided his gaze.

“You know the one. Gina’s roommate. Medium height, light brown hair, seems like a lot of fun?”

“Her name is Eliza.”

“Yup. I knew it! She was looking at you like you were Henry Cavill or something. Marco and I were taking bets.” I rolled my eyes. The last thing I wanted was my staff gossiping about my love life.

“Nothing’s going on,” I snapped. “Clearly you and Marco aren’t working hard enough if you have all this time to speculate about my personal life.” I glared at him, hoping that it would end this conversation.

Sadly, he knew me too well, patting me on the back before heading to the walk-in. “I’m going to get started on the lasagna. I’m proud of you, boss.”

I got back to my prep work and let my mind wander to Eliza again.

I knew that Nick was discreet, but I hoped we weren’t being too obvious.

In addition to being red hot, sneaking around was working.

We were having fun. And I was still managing my responsibilities, keeping on top of things, and making time for Eliza.

Despite my lack of sleep, I had more energy than I’d had in years.

All the tension I had been carrying around for so long was finally loosening.

Since I had to work nights a lot, I had gone over to her apartment on Monday morning after dropping Val off at school. She snuck me up the back stairs and then dropped to her knees as soon as we got inside her place. It was one of the hottest moments of my life.

We snuggled up in her bed between rounds of sweaty sex, and I admired the controlled chaos of her home.

Her bed was covered with dozens of fluffy pillows and fuzzy blankets, there were books everywhere, and she had neatly folded piles of laundry on top of the dresser.

There was a giant whiteboard on the back of the door, with multiple to-do lists written in different colored markers.

I distracted myself from my impulse to organize by going down on her until she came so many times she begged me to stop. I snuck out an hour later with the biggest smile on my face and a bounce in my step.

I supposed I had been in a great mood lately. Was it that obvious? I mean, I wasn’t known for my sunny disposition, but it’s not like I was dancing down the street or anything.

Even seeing Mandy tomorrow for the first time in two years didn’t faze me.

Val and I were meeting her in Boston, where she was apartment hunting.

As much as I wanted to lock Val away forever to protect her, I knew she was desperate to see her mom.

And I wanted this for her, to have her mom around.

But I wasn’t ready to forgive Mandy for all the shit she put us through, and I certainly wasn’t ready to share custody with her.

So we were going to see her and spend the day with her, and hopefully I’d be able to get a better sense of her plans and intentions.

And if I played nice, it was more likely that she would avoid getting lawyers involved.

Nora’s friend Astrid had hooked me up with an incredible attorney, but the last thing I wanted to do was spend years and thousands of dollars fighting a legal battle with my child’s mother.

I walked in to find my kitchen a mess and Gio and Val engaged in a tense game of Uno at the kitchen table.

“What happened in here?”

“I wanted to make brownies,” Val said, throwing Gio a nasty look after he threw down a draw 4 card.

I bent down and gave her a kiss. “Did you shower after soccer?”

“Nope. Uncle Gio took me to the park after and then we fed the ducks and went to that new donut store.”

“Donuts and brownies?” This kid would never sleep with that much sugar in her system.

“Uncle Gio thinks the donut girl is cute,” Val deadpanned. “He told me if I made him look good he’d buy me extra.”

“Val,” Gio moaned. “Can you just be cool?”

“Get upstairs and shower, lady.” I pointed up the stairs. “And remember to shampoo your hair.”

I turned to my brother and glared at him. “Seriously. You’re using my daughter as your wingman now? I didn’t know you were that desperate.”

Gio got up, grabbed himself a brownie, and handed me one. I took a bite—it was pretty damn good. My daughter had clearly picked up some of my skills.

“Donut girl is really cute. And Jackie at the diner told me that she had been dating Trent and then he broke up with her. Besides,”—he popped the last bite in his mouth—“you’ve got a girlfriend now, so I might as well find one too.”

“Shut up. It’s a secret, and I don’t want Val to know. Can you please keep your big mouth shut?”

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Secret? Are we in junior high? This is not some teen movie. You are an adult and so is she. You are clearly in love with her.”

My eye started to twitch. Gio knew just how to get under my skin.

“It’s casual and we’re taking it slow. I want to protect Val, and I’m trying to manage expectations here.

Keep things casual. I don’t want the world finding out about this, since not only will it probably ruin it, but I don’t want Val getting hurt. She’s already attached.”

Gio grunted, making his disapproval clear.

“We’re just getting to know each other.” I wasn’t in love with Eliza.

Yet. I had certainly thought about it, and I expected it would happen at some time.

But early declarations of love were the opposite of taking things slow.

And slow was the only speed I could manage right now.

“And I’d really like to know how you destroyed my kitchen and got my kid hopped up on sugar. ”

“We had fun. She kicked ass at soccer today, and we had a blast together. Stop being such a control freak.” He gave me an eye roll and shoved another brownie in his mouth.

Here we go again. This was a common refrain in my family. Yes, I liked to carefully plan and manage all situations and prepare for every possible outcome. But I was not a control freak. I was just organized and responsible. There was a difference.

“Embrace the chaos, brother. Life is a lot more fun that way.”

“Spare me your philosophy lessons and start cleaning up.”

Gio grumbled but started to scrub the congealed brownie batter off the kitchen counter. I poured myself a cup of black coffee and grabbed my laptop, hoping to catch up on a few things before spending the rest of the afternoon with Val.

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Gio came over and poured me some more coffee. “She’s coming back,” he mumbled.

“What?” I asked, pushing my glasses to the top of my head.

“Sam. I got an email from her this morning.”

“It’s been what, two years?”

“Two years, three months, and five days. No, wait…I think it’s six days.”

I pinned him with an intense stare. Everyone assumed Gio and Sam would get together at some point, but it never happened.

I was pretty sure he had been in love with her since high school.

I was the only person who knew since he hid it well, but I know how much he always looked forward to seeing her and how much it hurt when she inevitably left again.

“Just a visit?” I asked. I didn’t want him getting his hopes up.

“No. She said she’d be back in June and would be staying at her grandmother’s house until the end of the year at least.”

Sam had never come back for that long. Usually it was a week or two before heading off on another international trip or to take a job in Switzerland or something.

She was a big deal at the World Bank or maybe it was UNICEF.

Regardless, she was the international jet-setting type, not the settling down in Havenport type.

“Ahhh. That’s why you were hitting on donut girl.

You need a buffer girlfriend.” It was all making sense now.

I wanted nothing more than for my brother to meet someone amazing and fall in love and forget all about Sam, but I feared that may never happen.

She was the elusive one, the one girl my handsome and charming brother could not have.

“I do not.”

“Yes you do. You do this every time. You always like to be dating someone when she comes back, so you don’t have to confront your feelings and risk getting hurt when she eventually leaves again.”

He glowered at me, and I knew I had hit the nail on the head.

He swirled his coffee cup around, looking defeated. “I just can’t let myself hope, you know? It’s never going to happen. But every single time, I get my hopes up.”

“I’m sorry. Are you sure it can’t happen?”

“Our lives are too different, and I couldn’t make her happy in Havenport. And I wouldn’t be happy tagging along while she saves the world. I love it here, and I would miss your ugly face too much.”

“Of course you would. I feed you.”

“And as much as it hurts to see her and not have her, losing her would hurt so much worse. So I’m just going to stay strong and be the amazing friend I’ve always been.”

I understood. I hated that he was hurting, being in love with someone who could never be his. But I got it. Was I doing the same thing? Setting myself up for heartbreak with Eliza? Giving into temptation now and paying for it later?

I pushed the thoughts from my head. The last thing I needed was more doubt about the situation. We were taking things slow and enjoying ourselves. Nothing wrong with that.

“I would miss you too. And for what it’s worth, she’s the one missing out.”

“Shut up and drink your coffee, asshole.”