Page 82 of The Havenport Collection

Astrid

I couldn’t stop thinking about Declan. I wanted to be with him all the time. My phone buzzed all day with his constant texts. At least he was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.

Declan: Why do you smell so good?

Astrid: How can you smell me across the street?

Declan: I remember everything about you, killer. Including how you smell.

Declan: It’s incredible. Is it perfume?

Astrid: Nope. Just the blood of my enemies.

Declan: I can’t stop thinking about you

Astrid: Same. I am so sore.

Declan: Did I hurt you?

Astrid: Calm down. Only in a good way.

Declan: Don’t worry I’ll kiss it and make it better later.

Astrid: Promise?

Declan: Oh yes. I am having a shit day. When I get home I am going to pour myself a glass of whiskey and then lick it off your naked body. Then I want you to sit on my face and not get off until you’ve come at least three times.

Astrid: Wow. I don’t know if I can wait that long.

Declan: You will wait.

Astrid: Or what?

Declan: I’ll spank you.

I had been putting this call off for weeks.

I needed to make it, but it was very hard to actually pick up the phone and dial.

I needed to call Donna, my secretary at the firm.

But just the thought of making contact with Burns & Glenn made me feel nauseated.

Things were so good right now. I didn’t want to spoil the wonderful things in my life with more law firm drama.

“Hello, Donna. How are you?”

“Oh Astrid, sweetie. I miss you so badly. Things are so weird here without you.” Donna was the best. She had been assigned to me in my first year, when I shared her with multiple other associates.

As I climbed the ladder, I insisted on working with her, and she became my personal secretary a few years ago.

I could not function without her. She was professional, insanely organized, and a wonderful person who always had my back.

“I’m sure. Who are you working for now?”

Donna hesitated on the other end of the phone. “Charlotte Tobin-Meyer.”

“Ugh.” CTM was my nemesis. She even insisted on going by her three initials, like she was Ruth Bader Ginsburg or something.

I laughed to myself. It was nice to know I wasn’t the only person I knew with a nemesis. It was yet another thing Declan and I had in common. Something about my personality made it easy to make enemies. I should probably explore that in therapy someday.

I tried to hide the rage in my voice. Donna did not deserve my anger because she was assigned to work for the devil.

That bitch had been competing with me for years—undermining me in front of partners, stabbing me in the back every chance she got, and generally being a horrific pain in my ass.

One time, I think she tried to run me over in the parking garage.

When I confronted her about it she said she had lost a contact.

Bullshit. So it was not surprising she stole my secretary the minute I left the building.

She probably thought she could get ahead with Donna by her side.

The joke was on her. Donna would always be loyal to me.

We’d been together for years and were like family.

Donna had protected me and supported me every chance she got, and I’d done the same.

Charlotte Tobin-Meyer couldn’t even imagine what that kind of loyalty looked like.

“Thank you for the lovely holiday gift basket, Astrid dear. Paul loved the fancy pears.” Paul was Donna’s husband who had struggled with some health problems last year. I usually sent them all kinds of goodies during the holidays, but this year she asked me to keep it healthy.

“I’m glad he liked the fancy fruit.” They were good people and deserved all the good things. So I felt bad asking Donna for a favor.

“So Donna, I don’t want to put you on the spot.”

“But you want to know what’s really going on?”

“Yup. But not if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Hush. I will always tell you everything. You are like a daughter to me.” I beamed with pride at that statement. I didn’t have many people looking out for me in this world, and if Donna was one of them I was honored to have her.

“Charlotte has moved in on all your old matters and is spending a lot of time with Max Shapiro. He is still as smarmy as ever.” I never explicitly told Donna about what happened with Max, but she had suspicions which she didn’t hide from me.

She had actually warned me when we started working closely together about a year ago. If only I had paid more attention.

“And?”

“She is definitely moving in on your territory. The two of them pitched to Galaxy Fitness last week.” I saw red.

Galaxy Fitness had been my client for years.

I had worked on multiple matters from them, and the Assistant General Counsel had been my classmate in law school.

The thought of Charlotte working for them made me want to spit nails.

I held my tongue and let Donna continue.

“And there have been a lot of meetings about what went wrong with the Sobmark merger.”

“Any idea how it happened?” I asked, hoping against hope that my name would be cleared soon.

“Not sure. We have had a team of cybersecurity consultants in, and they are going through everything. Hopefully it will be worked out soon.”

“Are people still saying I did it?”

“Astrid, we both know you didn’t do it. I keep your schedule and your calendar and I know that you were in Los Angeles for a Galaxy Fitness meeting the day it happened.”

“Oh, I know, Donna. I gave them all that information at my review and told them to check in with you to corroborate what I told them. Has the investigation team spoken to you?”

“No. Nothing. I can’t help but think it’s not a coincidence they are not in a hurry to exonerate you. But, I was taking notes in a recent meeting and they said it may have been the Hong Kong team. So that might be good news for you.”

Yes. I pumped my fist. We had a Boston team and a Hong Kong team working on the merger. We were both in and out of the virtual document room. It was definitely a possibility, and if attention was turned away from me, that would only ease my transition back.

“Thanks, Donna.”

“Have you found a new job yet?”

“No, not yet. There are some extenuating circumstances.” I trailed off, not willing to lie to Donna.

Donna was silent on the other end of the phone. It didn't seem like she was buying what I was selling.

“Anything else?” I asked. Donna was always well versed in firm gossip.

“People are still talking about you. Some people think you had a nervous breakdown. Others say you lost your touch and the partners turned on you.”

Oh God. This was worse than I thought. Several people at the firm had had nervous breakdowns.

It was practically a badge of honor and not a big deal.

If you weren’t in treatment for depression, anxiety, or alcoholism, it was expected that you soon would be.

But not being able to cut it? To keep up with the work?

That was truly horrible and would sink my reputation in the industry.

“Hold on, dear. I have to move to a more private space.” I heard her walking through the office and then heard a door shut. “I also wanted to tell you something. So I heard some things. About Mr. Shapiro.”

Oh shit. I was so embarrassed that Donna knew.

“There have been other associates.”

I took a sharp breath. This was worse than I thought. It was bad enough I had received several more threatening texts, but there were others? I felt like I was going to throw up.

“Secretaries talk. And he was in the New York office for a while. And Lucy Smith—she supports the real estate group—she was there for a while as well. Apparently there have been a few. And all left under mysterious circumstances.”

“Thank you for telling me.” This was the last thing I wanted. It was bad enough that Max screwed me over, but to find out that others were involved as well? It made me sick.

“Do you remember an associate named Monica Sweeting?”

“Huh. I think so.” Monica was an associate in the debt restructuring group. She was a few years ahead of me. I worked with her on a few deals when I was a junior, but didn’t really know her.

“Apparently he was the reason she left.”

“Oh.” I was dumbstruck. All this time, I assumed it was just me.

“It’s not your fault, dear. This place is a pressure cooker, and it’s easy to be manipulated into staying silent.”

“I feel worse that it wasn’t just me. I can’t believe there have been others.”

“I’m sorry. But things are different now. Back when I was your age, women just had to shut up and deal with this stuff. You’re different. You can fight back.” I wasn’t entirely sure what we were talking about anymore. How much did Donna know?

“It doesn’t feel that way.”

“I know. But Astrid, I’ve known you for years. You have a cool head and a big heart, and I know you will figure it out. He shouldn’t get away with this.”

I loved Donna. She knew just what to say to me. “It’s just so frustrating,” I vented. “They confiscated my laptop and company phone when I was fired. I have no evidence.”

“Leave it to me, Astrid. Text me your mailing address on my personal phone. I may be able to help.”

My heart soared. Donna was on the inside. If she had any information, it could help me make my case against Max and the firm.

“Anyway, the reason I was calling was to RSVP to the gala. I plan to be there.”

“Oh good. I am so glad you are going to come. You deserve that award so much, Astrid.”

“You do too, Donna.” Donna had stayed with me late nights copying documents and proofreading our training materials. She was just as responsible for the success of the initiative as I was. As depressed as I was about this Max situation, I was proud of the work we had done.

“Oh, stop. I am always happy to support your brilliance.”

“Thanks, Donna. That means a lot to me.”

“So great. I will make sure you are confirmed for one of the firm’s tables.”

“And I will have a guest.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. His name is Declan Quinn.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

I hesitated. “Yes. He is my boyfriend. I am so excited to bring him as my date.”

“Oh, I am so happy for you. Where did you meet him?”

“I’ve been staying at my aunt’s cottage up in Havenport. I met him here.”

“I love Havenport. So lovely and so much history. I am glad you are having such a lovely break. It’s about time you gave yourself some time to rest and relax.”

“Yes. It’s been nice actually. I’ve made some friends here, and I’m reading and exercising. It’s been a good change.”

“I am so thrilled for you. That sounds like just what you need. Take all the time for yourself that you can. You deserve it.”

I was taken aback by her comments. Donna was a kind, loyal person, but she was a professional to the core.

She had worked at Burns & Glenn for over twenty years and knew what was expected of me.

I guess I never stopped to think that maybe my burnout was visible to others.

That maybe I was in worse shape than I thought?

“Can you do me one favor, sweetie?”

“Of course, Donna, anything.”

“I want you to get the most beautiful gown you can find. Show up to that stupid party and look like a million bucks. Shove it in the faces of these self-important jerks who treated you badly.”

My heart swelled. I didn’t deserve her. “Oh, I will, Donna. Thank you for everything you do.”

“And I want you to text me a photo of you and your handsome date.”

“Will do.”

I immediately pulled up her profile on LinkedIn.

Monica Walsh née Sweeting had worked at Burns & Glenn for five years following her graduation from law school.

She left abruptly in January, four years ago.

She was now in private practice at a small firm in upstate New York.

But there was a gap in her résumé. Over a year with nothing.

That was strange. Usually associates went on to prestigious in-house counsel or government positions after leaving Burns & Glenn.

Looking at her professional headshot, I wanted to give her a hug.

I had no idea what had happened to her, but if it involved Max Shapiro then it couldn’t have been good.

I couldn’t help but think how easy it was for him to prey on unsuspecting associates and lie to them.

The environment of the firm—the constant paranoia and fear that you weren’t good enough—made us sitting ducks.

Looking back, he exploited my ambition, my desire to be the best, and my low self-esteem.

We all wanted to get ahead, we didn’t want to be left behind, and God forbid, fired.

Burns & Glenn was the top of the profession, and there was a long way to fall if you couldn’t keep up.

I wanted to reach out. To ask her what happened and offer my support. But that was awkward and weird. I debated for almost thirty minutes before sending her a direct message on LinkedIn.

Hello Monica. You may not remember me. I was the M&A associate who was part of your team on the PriCom deal a few years back. I really enjoyed working with you and wanted to connect regarding your career progression. I recently left Burns & Glenn and am weighing my options. I hope you are well.

I gave her my cell and my email address so that if she wanted to get in touch with me, she could. And if she didn’t? Then I would just keep plugging along and try to get my job back.

I was feeling things. Real, painful, challenging things.

Work left me so busy I was just numb for years.

I didn’t have to think about things or feel things.

Or deal with things. Productivity came before all else so I could just numb out in the pursuit of partnership.

But now, I had to actually confront things.

Things about myself and my family and my choices. And it sucked.

My stomach was churning. I felt angry and sad and frustrated. I was flooded with rage. I was angry at my parents, angry at myself, at the firm, at everything and everyone who had ever done me wrong.

But then my thoughts traveled to one person who had never done wrong by me. The person who only built me up and had never torn me down. The person who would have my back no matter what. He didn’t care how many billable hours I’d logged or which awards I had won. He liked me for me.

I grabbed my phone and reread some of his dirty texts from this afternoon. And then I knew what I had to do.