Page 97 of Obligation and Redemption
THE TRIP TO PEMBERLEY was the most painful of his remembrance.
Darcy had always looked forward to finally being at home, in the wilds of Derbyshire, but he found little to provide comfort along the road this time.
Marriage to Elizabeth had brought him nothing but antagonism, indignation, and passion .
Could he think about that while she sat across from him in an emotional breakdown?
Never had he felt such a loss of control over his body, his rationale, or his emotions.
He was known for keeping himself under strict regulation, but that had seemed unattainable since she came into his life.
Even on that fateful day in the cabin, she unnerved him with her wet chemise sticking to her body, that body that he could not stop thinking about.
How am I to make things right? I cannot go on in this manner.
Something has to change, and as I am the head of my family, it must be by my hand.
He pondered for the duration of the first day’s journey upon how he might bring about reconciliation, not that they had ever had any kind of amicable understanding, but they, as man and wife, needed healing.
He had always wanted a marriage of mutual respect and understanding.
Love had never actually been in the equation of his expectations.
Most of the marriages to which he was witness united two people of somewhat equal status working together for the mutual benefit of the family and estate at large.
Their children were raised for the purpose of continuing the legacy.
His parents had a congenial relationship and regard for one another.
They each played their roles as expected.
There were no occasions for upheavals of which he was aware.
How does one achieve that type of peaceful existence in marriage?
Can that even be possible with a woman of such volatile emotions as Elizabeth possesses?
She is a passionate woman in every respect except where a man desires it most.
So the first day of their journey had each of them in deep contemplation, neither willing to talk, both lamenting the life they had together.
Elizabeth was pleased that they again would have separate rooms that night, even if sharing a sitting room.
She had no desire for nourishment and so remained in her room until daylight when they headed out again.
Of course, a man of Darcy’s observant nature noticed that his wife was not eating adequately; he could tell by her ever-diminishing size.
He noticed upon the beginning of their engagement that Elizabeth ate more than most women of her age.
She seemed to enjoy the tastes and savour the delights upon her plate, but now, she could not go so far as to taste what was before her.
She could not fool him as she shifted the food around, but he dared not bring it up again for fear of an argument. There was plenty of that as it was.
The second day brought little change in the mood of the occupants of the Darcy carriage.
They each looked out of their respective windows as the stark countryside glided by.
There was too much to be said to say anything.
The warmth of the hot bricks dissipated over time, leaving Elizabeth shivering more as that leg of their journey went on.
Darcy noticed her discomfort, so he offered her the rug that he had been using.
When she refused, he took it upon himself to cover her with it anyway.
No response was expected and none offered.
They made stops at regular intervals to reheat the bricks and to exchange or rest the horses.
The following day continued likewise; however, the prospect of seeing Pemberley and removing themselves from the carriage brought each of them a building sense of relief.
The landscape had been changing throughout the three-day journey, but now, they were clearly within the area of the Peaks.
Around the eighth hour of their journey, Elizabeth noticed the carriage slowing and making a turn into a lesser road at a lodge.
She looked to Darcy with unfeigned curiosity, which brought a small smile to his countenance.
“This is your new home.” Elizabeth turned back to the window, her mind too full for conversation, but she could not help but admire every remarkable spot and point of view.
They gradually ascended for half a mile, and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence, where the wood ceased, and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House, situated on the opposite side of a valley, into which the road with some abruptness wound.
It was a large, handsome, stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high wood hills; and in front, a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater, but without any artificial appearance.
Its banks were neither formal, nor falsely adorned.
Elizabeth was delighted, for how could she be otherwise?
She had never seen a place for which nature had done more or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste.
And Elizabeth began to think that being mistress of Pemberley might be something!
They descended the hill, crossed the bridge, and drove to the door; and, while examining the nearer aspect of the house, all her apprehension of being married to the owner and fulfilling her duties returned.
The carriage came to a stop and Darcy alighted.
This time, instead of the footman handing Elizabeth out, Darcy reached towards the carriage door to do the honours.
Elizabeth hesitated for but a brief moment before accepting his assistance.
The air was biting, so they hurried to get into the house, delaying the introductions to the staff until they were all safely inside the manor.
“Elizabeth, may I present our housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds?” At her smile of approval, he continued with a look of affection as he glanced to his trusted servant, bestowing a kiss upon her cheek, “Mrs. Reynolds, this is your new mistress, Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy.” Hearing her full name off his lips unnerved Elizabeth, but why, she could not say.
She had heard it said many times in the past six weeks.
Perhaps hearing it here, at Pemberley, as mistress was what had given her a start.
“Mrs. Reynolds, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I hope we will become good friends, you and I.” Elizabeth looked to Darcy to see how he might take her friendly words.
Instead of censure, she saw a warm and tender smile.
Over the next few months, she would come to understand her husband’s familial relationship with the respectable-looking, elderly woman, but at this time, she was puzzled by the approval she could not have predicted.
“Mrs. Darcy, welcome to your new home. After you have had time to settle in, we can meet together at your leisure. I hope you will find Pemberley a place as dear to you as it has been to me these many years.”
Then Darcy spoke up, “I will take Mrs. Darcy to her chamber. Please send her maid to join her, so she can get refreshed from her journey.”
“Of course, right away. And may I add that it is so good to have you home.”
“It is good to be home.” Darcy then turned and held out his arm, which Elizabeth obediently took, but she said not a word.
He escorted her up the stairs and down a long hallway that split at the end.
Turning right, he stopped at a door and opened it to reveal a lovely bedchamber.
Elizabeth had not thought it possible to dwell in a room any more fine than that in Darcy’s London home; however, she was disabused of that thought upon first entering her room at Pemberley.
A fire was crackling in the large fireplace, giving off an abundance of warmth that was a relief after the frigid journey.
But the warmth was not limited to the fire.
The comfortable yet elegant effect of the room assuaged her initial fears when first arriving at the great home.
Darcy was relieved to see the pleasant look upon Elizabeth’s face and so had the courage to speak.
“Elizabeth, if there is any part of your chamber that you would like to change, that is not to your satisfaction, please let me know. This is your room and, therefore, yours for the changing, should you wish it.”
“I am perfectly satisfied, but if I find anything that needs altering, I will let you know.”
“I, too, need to refresh and get settled. Will you be joining me for dinner?” Darcy knew that she must be hungry after the long journey, eating so little along the way.
“If you don’t mind, I prefer to eat in my room tonight.
It has been a long journey, and solitude is what I need most.” He understood her hidden meaning.
She needed to be away from him. In the past this might not have unsettled him; however, this time, he knew that he had wronged her, adding to the established divide that had driven them apart.
“As you wish.” He turned to leave, but then stopped. “Tomorrow, we must talk, Elizabeth.” She nodded her assent, and he departed into the hallway.
Elizabeth suspected that one of the doors before her led to her husband’s but was afraid to open any to discover the truth of the matter.
Fortunately, just then Janette entered from the dressing room.
Like Darcy House, there was a servant’s entrance located within.
“Your trunks arrived before you did, Mrs. Darcy, so they are ready for me to begin unpacking. If you would like, I can pick something out for you to change into – something comfortable yet appropriate for dinner.”
“I will not be going down for dinner, so any comfortable gown will do.”