Page 163 of Obligation and Redemption
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
forever and ever.Amen.
Darcy and Elizabeth had never experienced a honeymoon; neither had even considered the idea of secluding themselves in some distant county or land to block out the stresses of life while learning the physical intimacies of marriage.
Of course, with many marriages of convenience, couples might take a companion or even family for the new wife on the journey, so that she should not find her husband’s constant company a bother.
But even that had not occurred to Fitzwilliam Darcy during the first few months of marriage.
He had spent much time alone with his wife, but he had never truly appreciated the need for withdrawing from society for the purpose of intimacies, until now.
Unfortunately for Darcy, the time was quickly approaching that they should leave Pemberley for Hertfordshire for Jane and Bingley’s wedding preparations.
Jane greatly desired her sister’s presence in advance of the wedding, and Darcy could deny his wife nothing that would bring Elizabeth happiness, and indeed Jane’s joy was her own.
Darcy and Elizabeth now had appreciated several weeks of exploring the physical – and spiritual – blessings of the married state.
Although at first modest in her dress, Elizabeth soon saw her gown as an impediment to their union, and after perceiving the influence that her bare shape had on her husband, she gladly refrained from wearing anything unnecessary.
At first she had been embarrassed, not just about baring all, but also about her now rounded frame, but Elizabeth quickly overcame such emotions as passion seemed ever more in control of her sensibilities – and the effect upon her husband could not have been more supportive, for he had never seen a vision more captivating and exquisite than his disrobed wife, tousled hair cascading down her feminine figure and a gentle blush for his eyes alone.
Elizabeth had never looked at her husband’s naked form before.
In the past, she would squeeze her eyes shut, so as not to be intruded upon by disturbing visions of the male physiognomy, but no more.
Her husband’s fine composition became an object of much scrutiny and admiration to the young bride’s eyes.
Although she had seen pictures in books of famous artistic renderings depicting some Greek or Roman god of old, Elizabeth had never considered the magnificence of the reality and found that her curiosity far outweighed her apprehension.
Elizabeth had worried that her lack of experience would somehow take away some of her husband’s pleasure.
She knew married men often took on mistresses or visited courtesans, and although she no longer dwelt on that possibility for her own husband, she did consider that a man must want something more than a wife could provide.
However, nature took its course and she soon learnt the art of giving as well as taking, that she too derived much enjoyment when able to stimulate in her husband such fervour and delight.
Although not on the first night of their newly consummated union, Elizabeth also found her own apogee, surprising them both in rapturous gratification.
Darcy had discovered yet another accomplishment of which his wife could boast, perceiving that the more public talents – that he had once openly lauded in the female – held no advantage over the more private variety.
Darcy often recalled the conversation months ago with his cousin, Fitzwilliam, who had said that Elizabeth was a lovely woman with a true passion for life.
Fitzwilliam had suggested to Darcy that he consider the benefits to such a wife.
“Her passionate nature could mean many nights of pleasure for you.” Indeed.
“HUSBAND,” ELIZABETH SAID ONE MORNING while nestled underneath the linens on Darcy’s spacious bed.
He was sitting at his escritoire jotting down a quick note to leave next to her on the pillow before his morning ride.
He was hoping she would sleep in, for she was in much need of rest. “You are headed out?”
He looked up from his writing. “Lizzy, you are awake. I hope I did not disturb you.”
Her drowsy eyes had been watching him intently as he exhibited the same exacting standard writing a short note as he would a letter of business, only on this occasion, his lips were upturned as he was obviously contemplating some pleasure he had known.
Yet, unhappily Elizabeth remembered the last time she had been at his small desk while looking for a quill pen.
“Why do you keep that card? — The one from that brothel. Surely you have no need to keep it, do you?”
Darcy took in a deep breath, recalling how his wife must have felt when she had first learnt of his inconstancy, but he desired to put her mind at rest now – to leave no room for misunderstanding.
“When I arrived home that awful night, I had planned on burning the blasted thing – to rid myself of the reminder of my guilt, but I stopped myself. I realised that the reminder might serve me well.” Darcy twirled his quill pen as he purposely spoke.
“You see, when a man is his own master, and of a grand estate such as Pemberley, it is easy to fall into the misapprehension that he has somehow earned the praise that naturally accompanies such a position – to by some means suppose that he deserves the blessings bestowed upon him.
I never want to forget that I am vulnerable just like any other man, whatever his station.
“When I left town, I decided to bring the card with me rather than leave it behind. I returned to Pemberley determined to resolve our differences, and I thought that having the card might be a tangible reminder of my own errors to help me to overcome my previous resentment that I had let come between us.” Darcy saw Elizabeth’s brow crease at his words.
He did not mean to pain her. “I would open the drawer to look upon the card each morning and determine to show you the grace that I myself desired. The card would admonish me. ”
“You must have used the card often then?” Elizabeth asked as a sad look overspread her sleepy countenance.
“At first, yes. But soon – not more than a few days really – I no longer needed its constant reproof. I had already and quite unconsciously developed a tender regard for you, my love. I understood that you had every right to be piqued; I just wanted us to move beyond our differences. But I will destroy the card; I would not wish to cause you pain.”
“As much as I dislike your keeping your little memento, and agree that it should be destroyed, I am grateful for your dedication towards improvement. It shows a real strength of character I believe, not often witnessed.”
“Now how am I supposed to work on my humility when I have you praising me? It was much easier when your approbation came so seldom.”
“I just did not know you then. Now I see many things for which to admire you,” she smiled, “not the least of which is your uncanny ability to make the argument of carrying a calling card to a brothel seem noble.”
THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE BINGLEY and Bennet wedding was to take place, the Darcys packed their trunks and began their journey to Hertfordshire.
They were to stay at Netherfield, at Bingley’s invitation and Darcy’s relief.
The couple, with Georgiana in tow, arrived in Meryton just before dark three days after their journey began.
Darcy had offered to take Georgiana to London instead, since he was concerned that she might not appreciate an extended stay with the Bennet connection; however, she told him that she would like to get to know Elizabeth’s family before making a judgement on them, as she had so erroneously done with her new sister.
Indeed, Georgiana had come to love Elizabeth as a dear friend.
When Darcy was answering mail or taking exercise, the two women were rarely apart, even if only in quiet companionship.
When the ladies of the Derbyshire neighbourhood called, Georgiana openly showed her approbation for her new sister, thus making a public declaration of her support.
So she felt that meeting the Bennets, about whom she was so curious, would be yet another show of acceptance into her family.
The day after their arrival, the Darcys travelled the short distance to Longbourn giving true joy to everyone, especially Mrs. Bennet who had longed for another occasion to boast of Mr. Darcy’s company.
Two days after they had arrived, while visiting the Bennets yet again, Mrs. Bennet pulled Elizabeth aside in the garden for a chat.
“Lizzy, you look so well in your expensive clothes. I can barely tell you are with child.”
“Thank you, Mama,” answered Elizabeth, resigned to her mother’s continued distractions.
“I am glad you are no bigger than you are, for people might think that you had anticipated your vows. You know how people like to talk.”
“I am well aware of that practice, for that is why I am now married,” answered she, her mother oblivious to her daughter’s subtle allusion to her own contribution to their marriage.
Although frustrated by her mother, Elizabeth could no longer take umbrage, for she never would have married Mr. Darcy if not for the woman’s meddling ways .
In hushed tones, very unlike her usual, her mother then said, “The baby is your husband’s is it not? Wickham was spreading rumours, you know, that would suggest otherwise not two months ago, before he suddenly disappeared.”