Page 69 of Obligation and Redemption

Elizabeth was left to her boiled egg. She sat there focusing on the plate before her, but she was miles away in thought.

When Elizabeth entered the breakfast room, she had not planned for the conversation to progress as it had; she had not thought ahead to what her words might convey, but she realised that she had antagonised him with her notorious temper.

Elizabeth had always been one to lose herself to anger quickly, but then just as quickly she would regret her words.

She had never been afraid to speak her mind especially when she felt justified in her opinion, but she often regretted such hasty words of vehemence directed towards her unsuspecting victim.

But no matter her regret concerning how the conversation had progressed, she was most disappointed in the outcome.

Laura would continue to Pemberley and Elizabeth was left to having no companion with whom to spend her days.

Now she was quite used to entertaining herself through many activities and could rightly be said to have little need for input from others for her pleasure; however, more than a fortnight of marriage to the distant Mr. Darcy had left her in want of a friend.

Of course, Elizabeth did not see that the very same man whom she labelled as distant was also in want of a companion, and had he known himself better, would have openly welcomed her intrusion into his life, but neither was ready for such a move and so would continue down their rocky path together, yet each alone.

DARCY LEFT FOR TROMWELL HOUSE to spend a few hours in his sister’s company.

Georgiana noticed her brother’s disturbance but knew not how to offer aid, for every time she would ask to be included in his melancholy, he would deny having any such feelings.

He had always been unreadable to most; however, Georgiana and he were close despite their difference in age.

He was like a father to her, thus she looked up to him in respect and love, but he also let his well-toned guard down with her, so that she was one of very few who could discern the sadness reflected in his eyes.

So Georgiana spent the morning and afternoon trying to cheer him up.

She played the harp so that he might notice her improvement, for indeed her skill had blossomed, and then she moved on to the pianoforte.

Darcy sat on the sofa with his head leaned back upon the cushion as he attempted to clear his mind of all thought of marital disharmony.

However, as one cannot always control the progression of the mind, he could not keep from reviewing the argument that he and Elizabeth had shared earlier in the day.

Although he knew that he had done what was right and best for his wife, he saw the pain in her voice and even more so, her eyes.

Elizabeth had grown in a few short weeks to depend upon Laura, and he regretted having to separate the two, but in order for Elizabeth to progress in her journey to becoming the proper Mrs. Darcy, she had to sever her dependence upon a servant, no matter her worth and value as a person and friend.

And without a skilled lady’s maid, her entrance into society would be in jeopardy.

Elizabeth could not possibly understand his reasoning and he did not know why he had even attempted to explain it to her, but he wished he had spoken more kindly, so as to soften the loss for her.

Darcy had experienced Elizabeth’s anger on multiple occasions.

Indeed their entire relationship could be defined by animosity and dissension, but on this particular occasion, he noticed something that he had not seen before, or at least not admitted before.

Her impassioned defence scintillated her countenance in such a way that, had Darcy not been so angry, would have drawn him in.

In retrospect, he could dwell upon the picture she presented with unbiased reflection.

Darcy had to admit to himself that her fervour with respect to each facet of her existence stimulated him, even when the sentiment was indignation against him.

He reflected upon her long walk and the brightening of her countenance, the light in her eyes when dancing and the impertinent pique that played across her face when she was rankled.

Darcy considered the many visages that he had witnessed throughout the course of their turbulent relationship and had the dawning of appreciation for the passion – or was it beauty?

– reflected thereupon. And how could he be thinking along this vein when she had just greatly offended him and his motives as her protector?

Was he in fact behaving as protector of her or of himself?

The tumult of his mind was great as he let his mind wander over his relationship with his vulnerable yet admittedly vivacious wife.

So while sitting there Darcy resigned himself to follow Fitzwilliam’s advice and explore more of Elizabeth’s qualities while doing his best to prevent more confrontation, unless it could not be helped.

In so doing, he left in better spirits than he had on arriving, which Georgiana attributed to his spending time away from his wife and with his abiding family.

Elizabeth had decided to spend her day in practice upon the pianoforte in anticipation for her upcoming obligatory master lessons.

She knew that her skill could advance considerably with a little motivation, and although Mr. Darcy’s assessment of her playing offended her exceedingly, she could in truth see the advantage to his declarations of her needing application towards her improvement.

As such, when they joined for dinner that evening, each had resolved to think more highly of the other and to attempt to bring reconciliation.

Darcy determined to find ways to compliment her as his cousin had suggested and began with her new frock, which verily looked quite becoming upon her.

However, the effect of his words of approbation only led her to further coldness as she supposed that he only noticed her new and expensive gown which she would not have chosen if given the option, for she had always preferred the simpler, classic styles as opposed to the one she currently wore.

Her new maid was indeed a proficient, however, and was able to present her to greatest advantage with a becoming hairstyle and adornments.

Darcy could now say in truth that Elizabeth did have a natural beauty about her that was improved upon with the benefit of an accomplished maid and fashionable accoutrement.

Although Elizabeth’s first impulse was to feel peevishness towards his noticing her wardrobe as being superior to her usual, she decided that she would not give in to emotion.

“Indeed your choice of gown does improve the picture, does it not?” she said while smiling sweetly.

She took his offered arm, while he silently reflected on her strange response.

They spent the evening in inconsequential conversation but they also explored the weeks leading up to Christmas and his plans for them.

The piano master was to attend her in two days’ time.

Elizabeth expressed her gratitude for having the opportunity to improve herself, and although she did sincerely appreciate the chance to cultivate her skill, especially in light of her upcoming introduction to his family, she felt a slight indignation at its suggestion that she was in need of improvement.

Then she laughed at herself for finding disapproval in his every motive.

They were a fine pair, silently finding fault in one another with the sanctioned goal of trying to find contentment .

Now that a few of her new gowns had arrived, Darcy thought that an outing or two would not go amiss in helping to ameliorate their marital accommodation.

He disclosed to her his plan of taking her to the theatre, which gave him immediate satisfaction, for her response was one of unaffected delight.

“Truly? I love the theatre, Mr. Darcy. Thank you! When will we be going?”

“In five days.”

“I see what you are about. You desire that I wear one of my new gowns and so take me out in public. Well, I will let you manipulate me in such a shameless way, for I dearly love the theatre, and the opera, if you can find one more occasion to put me in another new frock.” Darcy was unsure how to take her remark for he was not used to being teased by anyone other than Fitzwilliam, so he continued in giving her details as to the name of play and its whereabouts.

The rest of the meal proceeded with tales of prior performances each had seen in the past, and they realised that they had on occasion attended the same productions.

This was the first enjoyable evening that Elizabeth had spent in the company of the usually taciturn Mr. Darcy.

Rather than exhibit in the music room, Elizabeth suggested they adjourn to Darcy’s study, as she felt she had played quite enough for one day.

Although few words were shared upon entering the book haven, they sat in comfortable quietude.

The day had indeed begun on treacherous waters, but with each endeavouring to do his and her part towards finding a commonality, the Darcys could retire in their separate chambers knowing that a tenuous truce of sorts had been reached.

ON FRIDAY MORNING, Elizabeth awoke to the anticipation of meeting with the piano master for the first time.

Although she rarely considered that her inadequacies on the pianoforte held her back in any significant way, this morning she keenly felt her lack of accomplishment, as she did not wish to embarrass herself in front of a discerning ear.

Therefore she had practised most diligently the previous two days, which to her mind had made a significant difference, for she was now able to present him with a larger variety of songs for his critique.