Page 86 of Obligation and Redemption
Mr. Bingley seemed most disconcerted and had opened his mouth to say more when the door opened and Miss Bingley came out.
“Charles, there you are! I have been looking for you. This is the supper set, and I hope that you will sit with me when the meal begins. You know how I despise dancing, which is why I have chosen to sit out the set.”
“Of course, Caroline. I will be inside in just a moment.”
“Don’t stay out on my account. I have decided to return inside.
It seems that the cold has caught up with me after all.
” Elizabeth then excused herself. She was in no humour to listen to what Mr. Bingley might have to say.
There could be no defence for the abominable way in which he had treated her family.
Her heart broke for Jane, whose only fault was that she was too trusting; she had not yet experienced the wickedness in the world that Elizabeth had come to know, and Elizabeth hoped she could shield her somehow.
When they had returned to the warmth of the ballroom, Miss Bingley took the opportunity to speak to the woman who had stolen her own opportunity for happiness. “Eliza, might I have a word?”
Elizabeth paused. She had no desire to spend any amount of time with a woman who condemned her, but she would also not be accused of incivility by ignoring the request. So turning, she said, “Yes, Miss Bingley. How may I be of assistance?”
“How fortunate you are to have been honoured with a ball! I know to what degree Darcy despises being made a public spectacle, but I see you hold no such qualms.”
“It is true that Mr. Darcy cannot abide the effusions often placed on him by supposed friends.”
“My, things have certainly changed for you. I remember, when we first knew you in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find you to be a reputed beauty.” Miss Bingley then tapped her finger on her chin as if in recollection, saying “I particularly recollect Darcy saying one night about you in particular, after you had been dining at Netherfield, ‘She a beauty! – I should as soon call her mother a wit.’” She then covered her giggles with her hand, pleased to see Elizabeth taken aback, but then proceeded on, hoping to put in the final stab, “But afterwards you must have improved in his eyes, for he seems to be showing you off to great advantage this evening. I see that his efforts have not been in vain, for I have heard many a gentleman speak of your substantial, if not respectable charms.”
Elizabeth felt the insult most acutely and found herself incapable of replying to such a blatant and contrived attack.
“Caroline, how dare you speak of such things!” retorted her brother from behind. Although the room was full of loud and distracting sounds, Bingley had witnessed the entire episode, having followed the ladies inside.
When Miss Bingley turned an amused smirk to her brother, Elizabeth took the opportunity to escape the Bingleys’ manipulative slander aimed at hurting her and her family.
She tried to compose herself – to recollect her own innocence in the painful events that had taken place over the past few months, but she could not escape this new offence that had been set before her.
She doubted not the recital of her husband’s past, insolently spoken words.
Elizabeth knew well that Mr. Darcy had found her lacking in attractions and had worked hard to present his wife this night as an improved version of the original, but hearing the words iterated reopened a leaking and festering wound.
But Elizabeth would not let Miss Bingley’s aspersions affect her mood any longer.
She was determined that she would not allow the woman – whose own position in Mr. Darcy’s life was flimsy at best – any power over her.
Unfortunately, Elizabeth could not claim such a tenuous hold by the woman now in her husband’s company.
Darcy was still dancing with Lady Annette.
Elizabeth watched for a moment, and then sighing, left the ballroom looking for some refreshment.
Once she had taken a cup of punch, Elizabeth noticed a woman sitting alone in a chair against the wall, and as she felt rather alone herself, she decided to join her.
Although they had not been introduced, Elizabeth felt it right to speak with her.
Through their short conversation, Elizabeth learnt that her name was Miss Grey and she was a companion to a Miss Darling who was currently engaged in the dance with a gentleman, the heir of a baronetcy.
Her charge was eighteen and had come out last Season.
Elizabeth began to ask her more about herself and discovered that the woman was the second daughter of a country gentleman whose estate had been entailed away.
Instead of being one of five daughters, she was one of two.
Her father died two years ago, and as she remained unmarried at twenty-five, she was obligated to look for employment.
Her education left her with the choice of governess or companion, and thankfully the position, which she now held, came available.
They spoke about her former home and the heir who had removed her remaining family from its comforts.
Elizabeth’s heart poured out for this woman, but she kept her inner thoughts hidden, realising that she could very easily have had this woman’s life. “And do you enjoy your current employment?”
“As much as anyone could in my position, although I find these balls somewhat difficult to bear. I had always supposed I would marry, but that was not to be. My employer is kind for the most part and asks little of me that might make me uncomfortable, unlike other rich fathers who hire companions and governesses for their own convenience.” Looking rather disconcerted she stood and continued, “Well, Mrs. Darcy, it has been a pleasure meeting you. But I must find my charge. The dance has concluded and I should attempt to accompany her to dinner.”
Elizabeth stood and smiled saying, “Miss Grey, thank you for allowing me to intrude upon your privacy. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” As Elizabeth began to walk to the dining room, she considered Miss Grey’s words and also what was left unspoken.
Elizabeth was beginning to see a theme with the rich men of privilege, who felt it their entitlement and due to expect a woman to give herself over as a plaything for their amusement.
She considered Mr. Bingley’s toying with Jane’s affections and Lord Langston’s strong overtures.
Even Mr. Darcy, who had been remarkably patient with her disinclination to be intimate, desired her to wear a gown that would provide sweetmeat for his and everyone else’s eyes, and on their wedding night took without giving and without her will.
Mr. Wickham had been very kind to her and was likely one of the only men of her acquaintance – aside from Colonel Fitzwilliam – who did not expect more from her, and he was the one whom Darcy maligned.
It was with these thoughts that she entered the dining-parlour looking for her husband.
She had not spoken with him alone since their dance, and that was done in ill humour, which she regretted, and wanted to make amends.
When she spotted him, she realised that he was not alone, that he had escorted Lady Annette into the dining-parlour and was now sitting beside her, in what looked to be a secret conference.
On the other side of him sat Lady Susan and Lord Langston.
Elizabeth was unsure of her emotions at the time.
She was angry to be sure, angry about her new and unwanted position in life, about her having to endure such an evening, angry that her husband would shame her in such a public way in sitting with a previous love interest, angry that Mr. Bingley had the nerve to speak with her in light of his treatment of her sister, and angry that the viscount was witness to her husband’s affront.
However, Elizabeth was sagacious and determined to give her husband the benefit of the doubt while attempting to keep a courteous mien.
She had little else she could do and would not make a scene to embarrass herself or her new relations and give them just cause to denigrate her. She walked over to where they sat.
“Mr. Darcy, I see that you have already been seated for supper. And what were your plans for me? Should I join Mr. Bingley? He did seem most anxious to speak with me earlier.” He stood with a pained look in his eyes that made Elizabeth regret her words, but just fleetingly.
She was soon returned to the pleasure of being again vexed with him upon seeing his partner’s smug look, but she was able to keep hidden her true ire, for she did not want Mr. Darcy or his companions to know of her distress.
Darcy quietly said, “Elizabeth, forgive me. I saved you a seat, but could not find you. My cousin and his wife then sat down, and I of course could not ask them to leave.” Darcy had spent the past two months studying his wife’s many expressions.
She had always laid bare her feelings on her countenance and in her eyes, but on this occasion, he was at a loss.
“What can you mean? Have you done something dreadful for which you need forgiveness?” She stood smiling with arched brow, daring him to confess whatever sins tugging at his conscience.
“Perhaps later then. For now, I will join my new friend, the companion of a Miss Darling. I see her alone on the other side of the room. She, like myself, finds the company above her rather tedious to endure, so perhaps we can bolster one another as we watch the disingenuous show being played out before us.” She curtseyed and walked away.