Page 96 of Obligation and Redemption
“Why this unreasonable pride of birth!” said she; “A visionary prejudice destroys our peace. Never would I submit to enter a family averse to receive me; they shall learn, at least, that I inherit nobility of soul.
O! Vivaldi! But for this unhappy prejudice!”
Ann Radcliffe
The Italian
Darcy arrived at the Bennet home in time for dinner.
The house was astir with activity as each had something of value to say about the wedding, the family, a revered patroness, recent visitors, or even the food.
This was fortunate. For the first time, Darcy was actually thankful for the large boisterous family, for this left him with little need to say anything.
Not for the first time at this table, did he use the Darcy mask that shut out everyone and did not accept discourse.
No one seemed to notice. Either they anticipated nothing different from him, or they did not care for his company either.
Unexpectedly, Elizabeth took a page from Darcy’s book of airs, as she too sat quietly in seeming introspection.
Mr. Bennet, as well as the Gardiners, noticed the difference in Elizabeth from just the day before.
Darcy’s presence seemed to have a most unwelcome and stifling effect upon her behaviour.
She had been smiling, engaging, and tender in her regard to her family since her arrival, but this evening, she was subdued and uneasy.
Whenever Mr. Collins would speak, rather than look to her father in a secret jest, she closed her eyes in embarrassment.
Elizabeth did not meet her husband’s eyes once during the course of the entire evening.
She stood by his side, but acted as though he were not there.
When it was time for Darcy’s departure, she thanked him for allowing her to stay, then went upstairs without walking him out.
It was obvious that not only were the two not in love – as was expected by all except for Mrs. Bennet – but they seemed incapable of enduring one another’s company.
Mrs. Bennet watched Darcy’s departure and determined to speak with Elizabeth about her duties as wife, how she was to venerate her husband to avoid being left in some distant estate on the other side of the realm.
“Lizzy, if you do not show your husband more respect than you did this evening, he will lock you away somewhere. I have heard it happening! Mr. Darcy is used to being revered, and you must do likewise to avoid losing his goodwill. We have lost Mr. Bingley; we cannot afford to lose Mr. Darcy’s benevolence as well. ”
“Mama, I understand your concern, but you must know that Mr. Darcy would not lock me up in the tower of a castle anywhere. And if he did, you could send Mr. Collins to save me.”
“Lizzy, this is no laughing matter. I insist you treat your husband with the admiration he is used to. These men with money have mistresses, you know. You cannot afford to have him dwell with another woman before you have borne him a son. Do you understand me?” Elizabeth wanted her mother to leave, so she said all of the appropriate words of understanding and accord.
Mr. Darcy kept his distance the following day.
Another meal was expected at Longbourn, this time with the Phillips and other close families in the neighbourhood.
The thought of such an evening made him weary, and he longed to leave for Pemberley.
He sent for Elizabeth and her belongings as formerly planned and expected.
Although she knew this to be the prior arrangement, Elizabeth still loathed leaving her family, especially in light of the events from the previous day.
Being alone with Mr. Darcy, even with separate rooms, unnerved her as her recent experience with him so closely mimicked her nightmares of late.
Elizabeth arrived at the inn and was met by Darcy just outside the entrance.
“Where is your lady’s maid?”
“I left her at Longbourn. This is Mary’s time, so I decided to have Janette stay there to help her to dress this evening and tomorrow morning.”
“But do you not need help?”
“No, I have chosen my gowns with that thought in mind. I can dress myself without assistance. And I have fixed my hair many times. So you see, I have no need for her. My experience tells me that Janette can work wonders, so Mary will be stunning on her wedding day, which is only right, even though her fiancé is a conceited, silly man. Now if you can direct me to my room, I would like some rest before we leave for dinner.”
Darcy did as he was told, all the while considering how thoughtful Elizabeth was on her sister’s behalf.
Truly, he had only seen her actions towards others of less significance – when the person was not marred with conceit as Mr. Collins – in a sympathetic light.
And if he were honest with himself, she was kind to him as well, as a general rule, if not always.
He thought about the Christmas gift that she had presented to him.
She had seemed genuinely excited that day.
Am I too harsh on her? No, she purposely disregards my wishes, which cannot be excused.
And when she gave me the book, did she not admit to overhearing me and going behind my back?
I barely know the woman; how can I know how to trust her?
This night mimicked the one before, except that Elizabeth arrived and departed in Darcy’s company.
They did not speak a word aside from that which was necessary.
“Are you ready to leave?” “When shall we depart in the morning?” “Can you pass the potatoes?” The evening could not end early enough.
Darcy walked his wife to her room at the inn, wished her a good night and then went to his own.
Mary looked lovely on her wedding day, as every bride should.
Elizabeth wore her least becoming dress so as not to outshine her sister and was happy to see that Jane had done the same.
Jane stood up with Mary and no one could have been judged too harshly for comparing the two sisters, but Mary had no need to feel ashamed of her appearance.
Although she was less beautiful than Jane, she had never looked better, and the exceptional smile on her face fairly lit the room.
Fortunately, Wickham and his fellow officers did not show up for the wedding for they usually had very little association with the bride or groom.
Wickham had told Elizabeth that he would likely not attend the festivities since it pained him to be in Darcy’s company, but she did not know if he might come to show that he had not been chased away.
The wedding breakfast could not compare to Elizabeth’s although more guests were in attendance.
However, like her own, Elizabeth did not look forward to leaving her family.
She took the time to go around the room to say a special farewell to each person.
Charlotte was the only one who brought about a laugh, for she and Elizabeth had always been able to raise the other’s spirits.
Perhaps that was why they were so close.
“Charlotte, you must come visit me some day. If my family makes the trip, you must be one of them.”
“If? Why do you say that? Of course they will come visit you. And I would be happy to join them when invited.”
“I am not altogether certain that Mr. Darcy would welcome my family, Charlotte. He finds their company tiresome and beneath his dignity.”
“But he cares for you. Surely he would overlook his own feelings in order to satisfy yours.”
“Charlotte,” responded Elizabeth, “I cannot agree with you. We tolerate one another, and you know I am barely tolerable .” They laughed but without true mirth.
“I will do my best to ensure that you, my dearest friend, are able to visit me. What is the benefit of pin money if not to provide transportation for my friends to come amuse me?”
“I will come, Eliza. I promise.” The two women hugged. Elizabeth’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she thought about not seeing her friend for so long a time. They now had very different lives, and it would be difficult to maintain their long-time friendship.
Before the celebration had concluded, the Darcys said their goodbyes.
This was a subdued departure since Elizabeth had no wish to upstage her sister’s in any manner.
Elizabeth silently cried as they pulled away from Longbourn.
Although glad to be away from London and the memories of the place that would forever haunt her, she was no longer looking forward to seeing her new home in Derbyshire.
No amount of countryside or gardens could induce her to willingly leave her home at Longbourn, especially in light of Darcy’s perpetual presence.
Never in all her days could Elizabeth remember disliking someone as much as she did her husband.
In order to boost her spirits in a way that made her feel useful, she began a wordless prayer.
She opened her fears and her thoughts to her Lord asking to deliver her from her misery and to protect her from the harsh realities of life that she had not known existed.
She had never put the value of money over her happiness and that of others, so she asked for protection from falling into the despair of having riches as her only solace, for what comfort had they brought thus far?
Elizabeth could not have remembered when her petitions ended because sleep overcame her.