Page 128 of Obligation and Redemption
Darcy’s feelings for his wife had undergone a most striking transformation since coming to Pemberley.
Since that day in the cabin, which now seemed so long ago, he had been highly attracted to her, but Darcy would not initially concede to her overwhelming beauty – a beauty that grew as he came to know her better.
And to his utter astonishment, Elizabeth’s intelligence exceeded that of most of his acquaintances.
She was not only quick witted, but her delivery was all that was charming.
He found himself many times caught in her web, and happy to be there.
How he enjoyed the challenge that accompanied their conversations.
Darcy felt as though he could never tire of her companionship.
Upon their first acquaintance, Darcy mocked Elizabeth for her energy and vivacity, as the social norm for a lady was serenity and calmness, but now he revelled in her playfulness and her love of life.
She had proven herself to be a dedicated and competent mistress of Pemberley.
The tenants already had accepted her, and she was known for her kindness towards those beneath her.
In truth, had he sat down and considered the qualities most desirable in a wife, surely he could not have developed a more comprehensive list.
The only thing about which he was uncertain was the nature of his feelings.
Darcy had never been in love before and had never planned to fall in love.
His preferences for a bride did not necessarily include sentiments, but he could not deny the surge of energy he felt whenever in her presence or the longing to hold her in his arms, especially when her eyes lit up with a tease followed by a smile.
He had some time ago given up his doubts concerning her part in forcing a marriage.
Darcy conceded that his knowledge of her was inconsistent with the possibility that she might be after his money or that she would cause herself to be compromised with the hope of an attachment; but then to whom was she forwarding her funds and what of the express?
He picked up the missive and perused its contents again, saying aloud, “What could she mean by, ‘indisputable evidence, some shocking news concerning Elizabeth and GW, which cannot help but have an impact on your marriage’? I know that Wickham had imposed himself upon her family, and he doubtless attempted to turn her against me. That would be like him; he would enjoy nothing better than to poison my wife. But has Elizabeth not shown herself to be discerning and generous? Surely now she could see through his lies.” Darcy had learnt in the past that he greatly erred when reacting impulsively to Wickham’s interference in his marriage.
He had hurt Elizabeth and was determined to think rationally on the matter and not jump to conclusions that might destroy the relationship he and his wife had built.
Nothing could be gained by ruminating over the letter now; there would be plenty of time for that on the journey to town, so Darcy rang for his butler as he wrote out a quick missive for his steward.
When Peters arrived, he told him of his plans for leaving, then said, “Please send this note to Mr. Stephens, then ask my valet to prepare for departure at daylight. I leave for town so have the carriage readied. I’ll be gone for at least a fortnight, likely longer. ”
“Shall I have Mrs. Darcy’s lady’s maid prepare her trunks as well, sir?”
“No, she will not be joining me on this trip.”
“Very good, sir. I will make sure that a full breakfast awaits you before your departure.”
“Thank you, Peters. You always think of everything.”
As his butler left the room, Darcy considered what he should say to Elizabeth about his plans.
He could not tell her about the letter, of course, but he disliked deceit.
He would be going to Rosings without her, and although she did not know about the possibility of travelling there, he did not want her to think he was intentionally leaving her off. But the less said, the better.
Darcy remained in his study taking care of any lingering business, while he waited for his steward to arrive.
As the hour was late, Mr. Stephens did not appear until Darcy had completed sifting through his papers.
Darcy was sitting on his leather chair by the fire when his steward was announced.
There was little to discuss, as Mr. Stephens was well acquainted with the needs of Pemberley, so within the hour, Darcy was able to make his way back to his rooms. He needed to tell Elizabeth of his upcoming journey, but she may no longer be in the sitting room.
If that were the case, he would need to knock on her chamber door.
That thought naturally led to other thoughts.
No, I must not think that way. Whatever lies between us in London must be resolved first, and surely she would not welcome me.
ELIZABETH SAT UPSTAIRS in the sitting room after Darcy had left.
She had a foreboding feeling about her husband’s sudden change in mien upon reading his letter.
He said that he had business to resolve, and had suggested that it related to his mail, but the only letter he had actually opened and read prior to that was the one that was written by a woman’s hand.
So, to what business could he be referring?
Not made for gloomy thoughts, she decided to focus on her own correspondence rather than ponder over something that obviously did not relate to herself.
She started with the letter from Longbourn, which was actually two letters in one.
There was a short note from her mother and then one from Kitty.
She received letters from Jane regularly, so was happy for the novelty, relieved that Lydia had not included one.
She appreciated the fact that her father was concerned enough about her welfare, while far away from her former home, to ensure that her family wrote to her, even though he did not himself.
However, sometimes the letters were more of a trial to read than the actuality of being away from her loved ones.
Elizabeth had quite begun to think of Pemberley as her home now.
When arriving, over two months ago, she did not think that she could ever consider such a grand building to be her home, her place of residence, perhaps; but now things had changed to such an extent that she had begun to feel as if she had always been there.
The note from her mother was a reiteration of sentiments from her other letters exhorting her to keep Mr. Darcy happy at all costs, and since the heir may have been conceived already, she could leave him to his own amusements until such time as she would be called upon for the task yet again.
All great men like Mr. Darcy have a mistress, Lizzy, so you need not suffer through his attentions.
Although she had read her mother’s remonstrance before without much heed, this time, she felt a pang of disquiet, first on the realisation that her mother must have learnt from Jane that she was expecting, and second on her mother’s assumptions about Darcy.
Surely Mama could not know of what she speaks.
I would know if he were keeping a woman.
Elizabeth understood that men had needs, which their wives were obligated to meet; however, he had not come to her chamber since leaving Hertfordshire.
Could he be having relations with someone discretely here at Pemberley?
That same pang returned to her chest, as her heartbeat quickened.
He received a letter from a female hand then hastily left the room, without meeting my eye. Surely not!
Rather than succumb to these disturbing thoughts, Elizabeth laughed at herself for beginning to listen to her mother.
When had her mother’s advice ever seemed rational to her?
She finished her mother’s letter, then read Kitty’s, which contained the same lamentations as usual.
Kitty lacked for ribbon to re-work her bonnets.
Lydia was taking the attentions of all the officers, and without Elizabeth or Mary at home any longer to practise the pianoforte, her mother had decided she should take up the instrument.
That is the first sensible idea that I have read since I left; she could benefit from having something useful to occupy her time.
Elizabeth then moved on to her other correspondence.
Mary had been married now for nearly three months.
She had written on only one other occasion, claiming that her duties as a parson’s wife left little time for such temporal tasks.
Mary had not changed, which surprisingly brought Elizabeth comfort.
She broke the seal of the new letter before her and read.
March 31, 1811
Hunsford, Kent
Dear Lizzy,
I hope all is well with you and that being married has been as edifying for you as it has been for me.
I find that having a husband who can patiently teach me about his expectations (and Lady Catherine’s) makes my life fulfilling.
I had never considered that being a parson’s wife would be so demanding when ministering to the poor.
I had assumed that my duties would be more spiritual in nature, but I find that exerting myself for others has given me a new understanding concerning their failings and subsequent needs.