Page 71 of Obligation and Redemption
Elizabeth’s emotions upon hearing his speech left her unprepared for a coherent response for some moments as she attempted to take in his full meaning.
Her breaths increased in depth and intensity as his implication dawned on her.
“You, sir, have said quite enough.” She looked him in the eye and continued, “A man of integrity, one who is worthy of esteem, would not let a woman’s net worth determine if his attentions would result in an offer of marriage or simply a wounded heart.
He would be best to leave her to her own form of amusement rather than trifle with her affections.
As there are few men, and apparently none of my acquaintance outside of my extended family, who could have honourable intentions towards a woman of small means, I expected that I would never marry and was content to live my life in service to my sister’s family when she were to find her joy.
However, I never suspected that there could be so cruel and despicable a man as to toy with a woman of Jane’s kindness, generosity, benevolence, nay all that is proper and good in this world.
But you have made it clear that no man can be trusted with an innocent nature.
Now I begin to wonder if I did not make the improper choice between you and Mr. Collins.
I considered your intelligence and understanding to make you a superior husband to the ridiculous man, but perhaps I was wrong.
At least he actively and openly looked beyond my lack of dowry, attempting to do what was honourable even if only to please his patroness. ”
“You compare me to that drivelling fool? I, who laid aside my family’s expectations, my duty to my estate and sister and my own inclination to do what was the most difficult but honourable choice for you and your family’s benefit alone, and you dare insult me in this manner?”
“Mr. Darcy, you blatantly state that I was mercenary in entrapping you into a marriage with no proof or basis whatsoever as to my own guilt, yet you openly support the idea that any respectable man of wealth – even one dear to you as a friend – might toy with a woman’s affections, raise her hopes of happiness without any inclination towards an offer, on the sole basis of her financial status.
How can you pass judgement upon me when your own friend’s only motivation for following through with his brazen flirtations is a woman’s dowry?
So, not only does he put value in a woman’s outward appearance over her character by choosing the most beautiful woman in the room, but also he uses her abominably for his own amusement.
You agree that a man of wealth could not possibly have any honourable designs on a woman who may be all that is lovely, kind and good, and yet you denounce me and my good family as mercenary? ”
This conversation was hurting Elizabeth more than she was willing to admit to Mr. Darcy or to herself – that her own husband could say such cruel things to her and that Jane should be the one most wounded.
How could she bear a life with a man who would never value her due to her family’s comparative lack of fortune?
This was too much for her as she began to feel sick to her stomach.
In a look of flustered confusion, she stood and gave her regrets, but that she would not be able to stay.
Elizabeth did not make an appearance for the entirety of the following day, owing to lack of sleep and a headache.
She spent her time in contemplation of her situation and in dedicated correspondence with her sister whom she attempted to placate with her kind words while trying to let her down with care.
She could not tell Jane of Mr. Bingley’s perfidy, his reckless and misleading attentions in a long line of others, but she had to help her sister to abandon any hope for Mr. Bingley’s return or renewal of his insincere regard.
She chose to confirm her sister’s own knowledge of the events, that Mr. Bingley would not be returning and that perhaps she should attempt to move beyond her attachment.
Elizabeth reassured her that she was in no way at fault for Mr. Bingley’s inconstancy and that her behaviour was at all times above reproach.
Although Jane always appeared serene and composed to the general populace, Elizabeth knew there hid a profoundly affected young woman whose sentiments ran deep, and Elizabeth feared for her sister’s recovery from Mr. Bingley’s attentions.
If Jane were to find out the extent of Mr. Bingley’s disregard, Elizabeth doubted she would at all recover.
Darcy, too, felt keenly the disagreement that had taken place over dinner the evening before.
Elizabeth’s words denigrated his character, and he could not easily forgive the offence she laid at his own door while he attempted to defend his friend.
Darcy had not a forgiving temper, and he spent many hours during the night fuming over his wife’s attack.
He unwillingly regretted, not for the first time, following his principles and meeting the obligation into which he had found himself while in Hertfordshire.
Darcy found it a weakness to lament a decision done out of righteous duty, but still his feelings would not obey his conscience, especially after the confrontation with his wife .
Rather than withdraw to his study, he decided to go to Angelo’s for a few hours, and then go to his club.
What he needed most was time in the company of men who understood the man’s world in which he dwelt.
He chose to dine at White’s and so returned home well after dark, leaving Elizabeth to wonder, not for the first time, what Mr. Darcy did with his time while away from home.
The next day, Elizabeth attended church with the Gardiners again, this time not asking for permission; however, the carriage had been made ready upon her request and waited for her outside the main entrance to the house.
She had longed to spend time in the company of her family, people whose values coincided with her own.
Elizabeth spoke to her aunt about Jane’s disappointed hopes and her own revelations concerning her husband’s and his friend’s characters.
Even though her aunt attempted to lay aside some of her distress, having lived in the harsh world longer than her niece, Elizabeth would not let go of the anger that had been building within her heart.
THE DAY ARRIVED for the Darcys to attend the theatre.
Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night was running through the month of December, and as this was a light-hearted comedy, Darcy thought it to be a suitable first outing as husband and wife.
Having spoken with his aunt and uncle, he knew them not to be attending the show on that particular evening.
Darcy truly wished for a private place for his family to meet Elizabeth, and as the past weeks had been much more difficult than he anticipated, he hoped to put it off for as long as possible, which at the latest would be Christmas, one week hence.
Elizabeth had not been as accepting in her new role as his wife and mistress of his homes as he had hoped, and he was concerned about the response from both Elizabeth and his relations when the time should come.
Elizabeth had been looking forward to her first trip to the theatre as Mrs. Darcy.
Although she had fought with Mr. Darcy about the prospect of purchasing a new wardrobe, in truth she liked having new dresses; she just did not like Darcy’s officious way of insisting she leave her own style behind while at the same time accusing her of marrying him only for his money – which if she were to go on an extensive shopping excursion would only add weight to his point.
She had chosen a creamy yellow gown made of a smooth silk with a crossover front showing her curves to advantage.
However, as she was preparing for the evening, in light of their most recent heated exchange, she became apprehensive about being in close quarters with her husband for the entirety of the night.
And for Elizabeth, on this evening, a comedy lacked its usual lure given her continued despondency over Jane’s disappointed hopes.
Her new maid, Janette, had just put the final touches on her hair and had turned to pick out the accessories when Mr. Darcy stepped into the doorway holding a blue velvet box.
He dismissed the maid and took in the captivating vision before him, for indeed Elizabeth Darcy presented a lovely picture with her dark hair adorned with fair ribbon to complement the yellow dress.
Elizabeth looked at him through the mirror and then glanced down to her hands in front of her.
They had not seen one another, nor spoken for the past three days, and neither had forgotten the harsh words that were said in anger, each feeling the former indignation but in a more controlled manner.
Darcy and Elizabeth had each determined to try to move forward, for the essential issue of the argument was a difference in the quintessence of their values, which would not be easily overcome and certainly not before the show that evening, so they divested themselves of their enmity for the time being with the hope of appearing pleasant to one another.
While entering society for the first time as man and wife, they would be scrutinised in detail, and both were in concert with the realisation that they had to look the part of a content if not happy couple.