Page 111 of Obligation and Redemption
On the following morning, the sun was bright after the evening storm.
Elizabeth considered taking her walk outside since the weather was nice, but then she remembered the mud.
She had felt guilty the last time she took a morning walk after a rainy night with her petticoat and dress covered in filth.
The maids would have a tough time getting her shoes and clothing cleaned up, and since she no longer wore clothes that could take such a washing, she instead chose to enjoy her exercise indoors, which would bring her considerable, if not equal, pleasure.
Pemberley boasted many long and interesting passageways where Elizabeth could take in her exercise without having to regularly overlap her paths.
She generally stuck to the parts of the house that were closed off, but often found herself walking past servants in the public areas, who would smile as she passed by.
Elizabeth often wondered what the servants could think of such a mistress who shamelessly exerted herself within their view, but as she was not one to worry about others’ opinions, she would just smile and carry on.
As usual, her indoor path took her down a long corridor, the walls of which boasted portrait after portrait of the Darcy line that had graced England for hundreds of years.
She would slow down during this part of her journey to study the paintings more closely before continuing on in her exercise.
Elizabeth had noticed her husband’s portrait on numerous occasions right next to his parents, but she could never find it within herself to spend much time in its perusal.
However, encouraged by the bright light streaming through the windows above the paintings, she stopped to consider the man she had married.
In his portrait, he wore a small smile that she had rarely seen, but recognised it to be the sincere one she had witnessed just the night before and on a few occasions in the past. “Who are you, Mr. Darcy? Why were you sent to torture me so?” she said aloud.
A few minutes later she found herself at the end of the hall and coming down the grand staircase.
Elizabeth had not been paying attention to the people around her when she suddenly came toe to toe with the very man she had been contemplating.
“Mr. Darcy! Forgive me. I was not paying attention to where I was going!” said a flustered Elizabeth, embarrassed to have behaved so unbecomingly in front of her worst critic.
“Please, do not make yourself uneasy. Even if you did not see me, I saw you, so no harm could have been done. May I join you?” Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she looked around trying to come up with a viable excuse to dismiss the idea.
“Let me walk with you. It is rare that I am able to see the whole house. You may even be able to show me a thing or two that I have missed in the past. ”
“Very well.” Elizabeth continued her walk but at a more sedate pace for fear of his censure.
She had been enjoying herself immensely on this bright and cheerful morning.
Why does he have to ruin my walk? They were silent as they wandered the hallways.
Elizabeth had started more slowly than before, but as they continued on in silence, she became more irritated at him for intruding.
This naturally led her to walk more and more quickly as if trying to rid herself of a barnacle intent on sucking her dry.
“Do you always walk so quickly?” Darcy finally questioned her.
“Yes.”
“Will you be stopping for breakfast, or will you continue throughout the day?”
She looked at him, wondering if he were criticising her or making sport. “You are free to leave me at any time, sir. Truly I am fine all alone.”
“I do not mean to offend. I enjoy walking with you.” At her raised brow, he continued, “I spent the past four days confined to a cold coach. I find the exertion refreshing.”
“I have always used my walks to restore my equanimity when vexed or as a solace when upset. Sometimes I just use the time to escape. My pace or distance is dictated by my mood or need at the time. Of course, it is also dependent upon the weather!”
“The day we met, what had you out at that hour, and so far away from home when a storm was threatening? What were you escaping that day?”
She peered at him, surprised that he would ask her that question after so much time had gone by.
“Well, my mother had insisted that I remain indoors and give up my walks while Mr. Collins was in residence. She did not like my acting like a country hoyden in front of a promised suitor. He was finally persuaded to put his hopes on someone else, so I was again able to take my exercise. A full week of the silly man left me in need of a substantial escape, and so I headed out early and kept walking, unaware of the time or the storm. I suppose in my distracted musings, I did not realise that the poor light was not due to a late sunrise but to the storm clouds! Once I discovered my mistake, I turned to go home a more direct route than that which I had come and began to run.”
“So it is true. Mr. Collins had put his mark on you first?”
She looked at him quizzically, “I suppose. But my mother had warned him away from Jane – she had grander hopes for her, you see. Then he turned to me, the second eldest. So, it was my placement in the family rather than any true regard that drew Mr. Collins to me – that and my mother’s wish to have me as the future mistress of Longbourn.
My mother might not understand estate management, but she is astute enough to realise that Mr. Collins could not possibly take over as master without a supportive and intelligent wife.
As my father had included me in his daily estate concerns, she thought that Longbourn would be safe with me. ”
“Your father taught you estate management?”
“I suppose I was the son he never had. We are quite close, you see. And he always said that I had the mind to learn such things. I was just happy to have his attention, for he rarely bestowed it on the rest of my family, and I could only suffer my mother in limited quantities.” She glanced up at him as they walked.
“I do love my mother, but even I know she is hard to bear in large doses.”
“You’ve never told me this about you.”
“Of course not. You never asked, and even I know that it is unseemly for a woman of any consequence to be learning such things. Why give you more reason to spurn me?”
“But you tell me now.”
“I have nothing to lose.”
“I see you are full of hidden accomplishments, and I mean that with all sincerity.”
Elizabeth regarded him, puzzled, not quite sure what to make of this stranger before her. “I think that I am ready to head back to my room now and prepare for breakfast.”
It still took several minutes to reach her chamber. She went in and saw that her maid had already taken the initiative to draw up a bath and pick out her morning dress. “Mrs. Darcy, as you are to have breakfast with your husband, I decided to pick something extra nice for the day.”
“Thank you, Janette, but warmth is what I desire most.”
“You can be both warm and lovely.”
After cleaning up from the exertion of walking, Darcy went to the breakfast room to await his wife while having some coffee.
The paper was waiting for him at his seat, as was usual, so he perused the headlines while anticipating her arrival.
Elizabeth entered about thirty minutes later.
Standing, he walked over and pulled out the seat for her.
She gazed his way, eyebrow raised. He decided to ignore her unspoken question, knowing that he had been far too inattentive in the past. He understood that he had offended her many times with his public lack of regard and hoped she would be open for him to change.
Elizabeth had discovered that although her appetite had returned with her increase in activity, over the previous week she had begun to feel sick to her stomach in the mornings; and just now with her husband, Elizabeth unluckily perceived that she was also unable to bear the smell of coffee.
She looked away often to escape the scent, causing him to wonder at her odd behaviour.
Elizabeth ate very little, but he chose to be gracious and leave her to eat as little or as much as she desired.
He would not make the same mistakes again.
The conversation during the meal centred on the plans for the day. “I will be in my study catching up on correspondence but hope to be done by midday.”
“I intend to meet with Monsieur Lambert to review the menus now that you are home. Then I may practise a little on the pianoforte. I will be having tea with Mrs. Reynolds and Mrs. Carpenter later.” She was hoping he would not object.
“You and Mrs. Reynolds get along well, then?” At her nod, he said, “I had hoped that would be the case. She has been at Pemberley since I was a young lad. Sometimes she seems more like family than servant.” He ignored Elizabeth’s bemused expression, continuing, “I suppose you are now aware of Mrs. Carpenter’s plans to take over Mrs. Reynolds’ duties later this year. ”
“Yes, she is well-suited to the role. ”
“I suspected you would agree.”
“Why did you not tell me this earlier, when you sent her to Pemberley, instead of leading me to believe you sent her solely to remove her from my presence?”
“Elizabeth, you must understand that I am not accustomed to explaining myself to anyone.” He paused, and then continued after gathering his thoughts, “I should have said something then. You were owed an explanation as mistress of my home and as you were emotionally attached. Please accept my apology for the way I handled that situation. I should have trusted your judgement, but I did not.”
“What happened in London?”
Confused Darcy responded, “What do you mean? I am talking about when I sent Mrs. Carpenter back to Pemberley.”