Page 107 of Obligation and Redemption

When he returned to Pemberley, Darcy resolved to show kindness to Elizabeth and to try to win her favour.

He did not love her and was not even sure that could be possible, but he could respect her, cherish her, and show acts of love with the goal of mutual regard.

He saw that Elizabeth did indeed have many good qualities to bring to the marriage and he would try to recognise them and provide encouragement.

After a long night of contemplation and introspection, he fell into a peaceful slumber.

DARCY ENJOYED EXERCISE AT ANGELO’S AS BEFORE, but ended the day at Lord Cunningham’s home rather than Whites.

As expected, Lady Annette was in attendance for she served as hostess since her mother had been deceased the past three years.

Darcy had been invited to dine at the home on several occasions over the previous year, but in the past he had always come with the goal of learning more about the daughter with the expectation of one day offering for her.

Now, he was not sure why he had come, except that refusing would have added further insult to a family whom Darcy had always respected.

When Darcy was shown into the drawing room, Lady Annette, Lord Wexley and Lord Cunningham greeted him with proper civility.

Wexley offered him some wine as they waited for their other guests.

He informed Darcy that they had also invited Langston and Lady Susan who likewise were close acquaintances and had joined them on several occasions over the past year.

While they waited for the Fitzwilliams, Darcy noticed that Lady Annette must have taken extra care in preparing for the evening, considering how small the party was to be.

Her complicated coiffure was suited to attract a man.

Long curls extended to the side of her neck enticing a man to touch them.

Her cheeks were heightened by colour, likely owing to the discomfort of having her former suitor as a guest. Darcy wondered what she must have thought when told of his invitation.

Although they had seen one another since his marriage, the occasion ended in discomfort for both.

Lady Annette wore a strand of diamonds with a large teardrop stone, which when paired with the lovely light blue gown boasting a deep-cut décolletage, invited inspection.

Her ensemble was obviously designed to attract, as he supposed it always had been in the past. Apparently the trick had worked well for him, for he remembered being smitten by her beauty and assets.

The foursome made light conversation, Lady Annette acting as the perfect hostess, confirming much of what the men said to be true and smiling prettily.

Langston and Lady Susan arrived about a quarter-hour after him. “Darcy, how nice to see you again.” said his cousin as he walked over to shake his hand. Darcy looked at him, ashamed of the events from just a few days before. “Don’t worry, my lips are sealed,” he added in a susurration.

Susan then joined her husband, curtseying to Darcy after having seen to her hosts. “Darcy, so nice to see you,” said she looking around, “and where is Mrs. Darcy? Don’t tell us you’ve already tired of her,” she continued, sniggering at her jest.

“Not at all. Elizabeth is at Pemberley. I came in town for business and saw no need to uproot her just as she had arrived.”

“But you were just here. What business could you have?”

Darcy despised anyone getting into his own concerns, but he had to remember where he was and that the annoying woman was family.

“Business that could not be delayed.” Then turning to Langston, he said, “I hear James has been tied up with work. Have you had a chance to see him?” and the subject was changed for the moment.

Lady Susan and Lady Annette separated from the men as they spoke of the ball and other recent social engagements.

Darcy was listening to the men drivel on about the war with France, his only interest at the time concerning Colonel Fitzwilliam’s involvement while in the war office.

While the men spoke, Darcy observed how well Lady Susan got along with Lady Annette.

They seemed to be in a tête-a-tête of mutual interest. He saw Lady Annette look over to him, then noticing his interest, smile and whisper something to her companion.

He had the distinct feeling that their conversation was at his expense.

He could not know that the two were considering their shared aversion to Darcy’s own wife.

Lady Susan had marked her husband’s poorly concealed admiration for Elizabeth’s figure, and Lady Annette could not properly be blamed for her petty jealousy over Elizabeth’s winning the hand of Mr. Darcy, her dislike fuelled by the ungracious reports from her friend.

Dinner was called, and to Darcy’s surprise, Lady Annette latched onto his arm to be escorted to the dining-parlour.

Darcy found that his hostess had placed him to her right with Langston to her left and next to his wife.

The conversation flowed around him, and he even joined in occasionally.

He acknowledged that this was not unlike many other evenings spent in the present company and began to suspect the arrangements were by design.

During the beginning of the meal, Lady Annette gave him the same unguarded attentions she always had.

Her behaviour was without reproof; however, she continued to look at him with the same scrutiny that when single had spurred him on, but while married made him uncomfortable.

Her father and brother did not seem to notice, so Darcy began to suspect that maybe he was imagining her covert flirtations.

He was interrupted from these musings by Lady Annette’s saying, “Darcy, how long will you be staying in town?”

“My plans are not fixed.”

“Then you will have to come back to visit us.” Darcy could not understand why she would want such a thing.

This evening had so far been most uncomfortable.

He gave her a small smile and took a sip of wine.

Then having his attention, she began talking about the theatre.

He mentioned the two shows he and Elizabeth had recently attended and asked if she too had seen them and what her impressions had been.

The conversation continued, Lady Annette finding no reason to contradict and saying all the words expected, designed to make a man feel superior.

He found the whole exchange rather dull.

Then he contentedly recalled the meals taken with Elizabeth.

Darcy found his wife’s ideas challenging and even exhilarating.

Elizabeth rarely agreed with him, and sometimes even seemed to contradict him just to vex him, but then her eyebrow would shoot up with that impish smile, and he would know of her little treachery.

He smiled to himself. Dinner had never been dull with Elizabeth, not even from the time prior to their formal meeting, if a collision in the woods could be called formal.

He remembered thinking at the time that Elizabeth was uncouth and impertinent.

That sentiment grew throughout their engagement; however, somewhere along the way, he had begun to enjoy her banter.

It was not until this moment that he comprehended his growing admiration for his wife’s eccentricities.

As Lady Annette continued on in her sedate and amenable fashion, Darcy’s mind began to wander towards conversations he and his wife had enjoyed about the theatre, books, politics, a vase.

Elizabeth had a way of making any subject amusing or provocative.

How have I missed her value as a companion these past two months?

Darcy had the dawning of understanding that perhaps he was not seeing only himself anew, but also his wife.

He was interrupted in his reverie by Lady Annette’s saying, “Would you not agree, Darcy?” He looked sharply to her, obviously having wandered from the conversation.

She leaned forward, showing herself to greatest advantage and whispered, “Where have you been, sir? We were asking you about the partridges.”

Embarrassed to be found daydreaming and even more so, having her cleavage not a foot from him, he said, “This is a fine meal, thank you.”

Lady Annette leaned in even closer, pretentiously suspecting that his daydreams pertained to herself. “Save room for dessert.”

Darcy was taken aback. She is flirting with me!

I am a married man, and she a maiden! It was true, he found her very alluring.

The ensemble she wore had done its job. Like any other man, he found her assets to be pleasing, but he was married and no longer available to establish an alliance.

What could she mean by tempting him in this way?

Darcy then continued his reflections about Elizabeth as compared to his current hostess.

Lady Annette was beautiful, fashionable, accomplished and steeped in connections, but he now found her dull, conniving and inappropriately tempting for a lady.

He had first seen signs of this New Year’s Eve, but his opinion was now decided, so he did his best to follow his strategy at the ball, donning a coldness of manner .

The two women left the men to their cigars and brandy when the meal concluded and the men continued their previous discussion on the war. Before long Langston decided to change the conversation. “Susan and I have been very concerned about you since the ball.”

“You have me at a disadvantage,” responded Darcy.

“Your wife, Darcy, you must have seen her indulging in wanton behaviour. Why she even toyed with me while we were dancing. How can you bear it? If my wife behaved so shamelessly, I would leave her at my country estate as well,” he said with a chuckle.

Darcy, surprised at the topic at hand, could not help but be amused by the thought of Lady Susan flirting with anyone aside from the looking glass.

He considered how easily Langston was able to go from his licentious behaviour and encouraging the same in him the other night to now accusing his Elizabeth of no worse, and in an uncomfortably public manner at that.

He meant to put this line of questioning to rest.

“I saw my wife dancing with many men. Not unusual for a ball, especially one designed to introduce her. I admit I even encouraged her to do so, for she enjoys dancing more than I.”

“Dancing, yes, but she was flirting most shamelessly. You know she was.”

Darcy’s ire was increasing, but he continued with his mask of reserve.

This sounded nothing like his Elizabeth.

How dare he misrepresent her? Then it occurred to him that he himself had accused her of the same thing, and to her face no less.

He regretted again his shameful conduct after the ball and his shameful behaviour at Madame Karina’s.

“You are speaking about my wife. Elizabeth is a lively woman. Some may misinterpret her exuberance, but I saw nothing outside of the ordinary. If you have something more accusatory to say, please save it for a time that we might speak in private.”

But Langston was apparently enjoying himself. “We are all friends here, at least we used to be. And everyone knows how she came to be Mrs. Darcy. You just don’t want to admit your weaknesses.” Darcy suspected he was speaking as much about the courtesan as his wife.

“Langston, I could call you out for your remarks about Elizabeth.”

“But you won’t because you know there is some truth to it.” Darcy’s mind’s eye immediately and treacherously went back to the cabin, seeing her in her wet chemise. “Ah, I can tell I am right!”

“I stand by the truth that I have already shared. However, regardless of how it came about, she is my wife now, and I will not have you speak of her in such a derogatory fashion.” Darcy glanced to his hosts who listened most patiently, and then he continued, “I thought you had accepted Elizabeth. You were certainly very gracious at the theatre and at the ball, showing public approval.”

“Of course, I do accept her, for your sake, Darcy. And I will continue to show her my support. She can’t help that she is a most alluring woman and likely still enjoys the games women play to attract a man.

In time she will give you all of her attention.

I just don’t want to see you deceived by her.

She is little different than most other beautiful woman from her same sphere.

” After a pause, Langston continued, “I suspected that you had come to the same conclusion. And now to show you my continued support, I would like to invite myself to Pemberley sometime in the next two months in order to become better acquainted; that is if it is agreeable to you. Perhaps the more I get to know your wife, the more likely I will approve of her.”

Darcy’s host finally found his tongue and a smirk to match. “Well, this has certainly been entertaining, but we mustn’t tarry; the ladies will be anxious for us to join them.” Then he stood, the others following.

After the men entered the drawing room, the ladies took turns performing upon the pianoforte.

Both were accomplished at the instrument and both sang remarkably well; however, Darcy now found their performances wanting.

Although perhaps better musicians than Elizabeth, neither played with her passion and spirit, and they quickly became no more than background music to his inner thoughts.

Not for the first time that evening did Darcy compare his wife to these two ladies and even at times the gentlemen.

Elizabeth’s conversation, talent, intelligence, and even beauty, if he were completely honest, exceeded that of his company.

Add to that, she was humble and sincere.

Both Lady Annette and Lady Susan took great stock in their beauty, the real and imagined.

Elizabeth never seemed to perceive her own charms, except perhaps in the cabin, but then had she actually used her charms, or was it in his imagination, giving her the blame for his own vulnerabilities?

Darcy was ready to leave. Although enlightening in so many ways, he also found the company tedious and their presence a high price to pay. He decided it was time to go home, to Pemberley, to Elizabeth.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found, Was blind but now I see.

John Newton

Amazing Grace