Page 77 of Obligation and Redemption

“I hardly know. We see them for about fifteen minutes, and then they are gone.”

She looked at him puzzled. “How often do you see them?”

“A few times a year, I suppose. They begin to get fidgety and then are sent back to their rooms where they can play.”

“May I give them each a present for Christmas?”

Darcy was now surprised. “I suppose you can, but truly there is no need. Victoria will likely not be in attendance, for her husband, whom you did not meet tonight, will likely take her to his own family’s residence.”

“I have planned on presenting Georgiana with a gift, if that is acceptable to you. Since I know little about her, I could not give her something too personal, but as my new sister I felt it right. Does your extended family exchange gifts?”

“No, we have never given gifts beyond Georgiana and myself.”

Darcy noticed Elizabeth’s smile and could not help but ask what it might signify.

“You will think me ungenerous, but I was considering that if your family did share presents, we might give Lady Susan a small looking glass to fit in her reticule.

“ At his look of puzzlement, she said, “Surely, Darcy, you could not miss how often she gazes into the mirror at her own likeness.” She laughed lightly with mirth in her eyes.

“I saw her looking into that large mirror in the drawing room more than once. Indeed while the ladies were alone, she stood with her back to me while facing the mirror, so she could see my reflection without giving herself away, and I daresay I caught her looking at herself more often than at me. I began to feel jealous at the slight.”

Darcy smiled at the idea. “I cannot say I have ever noticed.”

“You surprise me, sir. I had always supposed you to be more astute than that. Are you not a studier of character? You sit staring at others so much, I assumed your appraisal had a purpose.”

“I do observe closely what goes on around me, but perhaps our purposes differ.”

“You look to find fault, and me, diversion.”

“Elizabeth, you are harsh on me. ”

“I must speak as I find. But don’t take my assessment too severely.

I have observed that there are many facets to Fitzwilliam Darcy, including some I quite admire.

” When she had his attention, she went on, “However, I plan to keep those to myself. You have heard enough of your praises from your many admirers and even the papers if I recall correctly.” Elizabeth was smiling as if she held a secret of some import but would not tell.

It was true. Darcy had heard many times the commendation and obeisance of many on his behalf, attempting to garner his approbation and friendship for reasons of ambitious intent.

He doubted the sincerity of his admirers and rarely took their praises to be without guile.

So why did he want to know what Elizabeth might have to say?

She found his failings true enough and was quick to share them with him and his relations.

In fact there were very few of his acquaintance, peers or servants, who ever found fault in him, or at least transgressions they were willing to share.

His cousin, Fitzwilliam, was the rare one who showed no deference whatsoever, even though Darcy’s approval was essential, as he went a good way to making Fitzwilliam’s life free of financial stress.

Even his aunts and uncle bestowed enough respect on him to keep their negative opinions of him to themselves, if indeed they had any.

In his musings something occurred to him, which gave him pleasure.

Smiling he said, “Elizabeth, do you realise what you just said?”

“That I might admire some thing or another about you? Surely that could not surprise you.”

“Not that, although, indeed it does. You called me ‘Darcy.’ You’ve never done that before.”

“Have I not?” She asked, somewhat flustered that she had not realised the familiarity. Then she laughed at herself while blushing for being so concerned about the propriety of it, for he was her husband, and she had likely earned the right to such intimacies.

“No, you have not. But I like it. We are married and Mr. Darcy seems so formal under the circumstances. Do you not think?”

Not knowing how to answer, she responded, “It is true that Mr. Darcy does sound rather proper for two people in close quarters.” She blushed anew at the thought.

“But, I cannot say that I feel completely comfortable without the formality, for in many ways we are like strangers, you and I.” They then sat in some silence except for the clip clop of the horses’ hooves on the cobblestones of the street as they each thought about the evolution of their relationship thus far.

It was only a few moments before the carriage stopped and the door opened thus ending their reflections.

Elizabeth was uneasy and ready to depart.

She had had enough of the Fitzwilliams for one day and only wanted to get some rest.

Elizabeth went to her family’s home as expected the following day and enjoyed the time in their good company.

The Gardiners bestowed on her their small gift and she theirs including small toys and sweets for the children.

She told them about her visit to the theatre and learnt that they had planned to go themselves, making her gift most propitious.

Then she shared stories of her evening at Lord Matlock’s, leaving out the painful recollections of the family’s rude welcome.

She spoke of the home, the meal, and a description of each person, which was enough to fill the afternoon with stories and amusement.

Elizabeth wished them a Happy Christmas and entrusted them with her family’s presents as well as a note to each person at Longbourn and then left with a heavy heart, saddened by the idea that she would not be with her beloved family for this year’s festivities.

CHRISTMAS EVE ARRIVED and the Fitzwilliam family, in addition to the Darcys, attended church in the late evening after dinner.

Many eyes rested upon the newly married couple throughout the service.

Having been out in public so seldom, the Darcys had become quite the talk.

Elizabeth was judged to be comely, unattractive, tall, short, too thin, too curvaceous and by all, undeserving.

So as the congregation celebrated the birth of the Saviour, they also made certain their need for one.

Colonel Fitzwilliam had made his showing that evening and would be celebrating the season with his family for the following fortnight.

When first seeing Elizabeth, he was troubled by the change in her appearance.

Nothing was obvious to the casual onlooker, but to him she appeared to have a more drawn appearance around her eyes, which no longer expressed her inner vivacity, as they had just two weeks previously.

Also, Elizabeth had shed a few pounds from an already slender frame.

They shared pleasant and congenial words upon their renewed association.

Elizabeth bore the inspection of the congregation well, as she found much to observe herself.

Those in attendance seemed to have come to be seen more than to worship.

She philosophically began to consider her place within the Fitzwilliam and Darcy families and if divine Providence had played a role in getting her there.

But then how could a good God, who was willing to divest himself of his divine glory to add on human nature for the purpose of saving the lost, how could He orchestrate a situation that had only brought pain?

But then she contemplated how much better her life was than so many others in London, those whom she had seen many times in the recent and distant past begging for sustenance.

How could He let people starve and freeze to death upon the back streets of London, if He were a good and benevolent deity?

Thereupon, she recalled that He himself had come into the world poor and with little shelter, pursued by soldiers who meant to kill Him and one day would be left naked to die.

Yes, He did understand the plight of those suffering, and Elizabeth had to believe that He had a plan for them, as He had a plan for herself, however doubtful it would seem on the surface.

She was interrupted in her musings by the call to worship and began to contemplate the compassionate and joyful attributes of God, leaving the more philosophical explorations for another day.

The next afternoon, before the Darcys returned to Tromwell House to share in the celebration of the holiday, Darcy knocked on the chamber door from the shared sitting room.

“Excuse me if I have interrupted your preparations, but I hoped we might have a few moments before leaving.” Elizabeth smiled and replied that there was no inconvenience, as Janette had just finished her hair.

Picking up a wrapped package laying upon the writing desk, she followed Darcy into the sitting room .

Elizabeth noticed that he seemed a little uncomfortable, but she could not figure out why that might be. After the two sat down before the hearth, Darcy began, ”Elizabeth, I first would like to wish you a Merry Christmas. I hope you will find pleasure on this, our first Christmas.”

“Thank you, sir.” Elizabeth then was surprised at her own discomfort. She looked to the gift on her lap that she had planned on giving to her husband as she fiddled with the ribbons.