Page 136 of Obligation and Redemption

Darcy should receive word from Jonathon by the following evening either confirming or denying Wickham’s claim that Elizabeth was with child.

If she were not, then he could ignore Wickham’s demands.

If she were pregnant, then the only way to know the truth would be to confront Elizabeth and hope that she would not prevaricate.

Her features were an open book and would reveal the veracity of Wickham’s assertions.

Darcy thought of leaving for Pemberley this very night.

The thought of waiting another week to speak with her was unbearable to him, but he had his duty to consider.

He could go to Elizabeth’s relations to learn if Elizabeth might have mentioned anything to them about her condition or her feelings towards Wickham but then decided against this to avoid introducing more people to the threatening scandal.

And then he had to decide what he would do if Wickham’s claims had true merit.

What if Elizabeth were possibly carrying Wickham’s child?

What should he do? He had acknowledged that he had developed deep feelings for Elizabeth.

Could he bring himself to divorce her if she continued to hold Wickham in high regard?

Could their marriage survive the scandal, even if she did not admire the man?

Should he have told her earlier of Wickham’s long history of perfidy, warning her away?

Had Elizabeth completely tricked him into thinking she was something she was not?

These questions would plague him over the following week.

But for now, there was nothing to do but await Jonathon’s return and leave for Rosings as soon as he had received verification of Elizabeth’s condition.

WITHIN DAYS OF DARCY’S DEPARTURE, Elizabeth felt a strange sensation in her now growing abdomen that she knew to be the baby’s quickening.

She had gotten up instinctively to share the news with her husband, as she had planned all along, but then stopped herself as she remembered that he had gone.

As she now had no doubt in her mind that a baby was growing within her, she was angry with herself for not telling Darcy of the news sooner, before his sudden departure.

Elizabeth did not know why the thought wore on her so, but she felt certain that Darcy needed to have known the blessed announcement before leaving.

Perhaps he might not have left as he did.

Perhaps he would have taken her with him.

Elizabeth finally found solace when she resolved to tell him on the first evening of his arrival home, smiling as she considered his joyful response.

Elizabeth had been visiting more tenants since Darcy’s departure.

During the day she could not sit idly, waiting for her husband’s return.

It was during the stillness of the night that without permission her thoughts would dwell on her husband’s location and the possible reasons for his hasty removal from Pemberley.

Unfortunately for Elizabeth, she had an active imagination that would consider all sorts of iniquitous scenarios.

She knew that there was no justification for her gross misrepresentation of his well-known character, but her mind would do as it chose, so she kept busy during the day to distract herself from his continued absence.

Elizabeth certainly remembered her husband’s past ill treatment of her, but she also had witnessed a most extraordinary change.

Yes, he had imposed himself upon her most egregiously on that fateful day at Longbourn, but she could not discount his great distress leading up to and following his vulgar actions.

And since then, he had proven himself to be above reproach in his behaviour towards her on every occasion and had been most aggrieved concerning his uncharacteristic conduct.

Also, Elizabeth could see her own guilt that day.

Darcy had been most adamant that she not have contact with Mr. Wickham – surely there was more to that story than she had originally perceived, especially in light of Mr. Wickham’s most inappropriate attempts at correspondence with her.

Elizabeth had never seen her husband so oppressed as that moment when he found her alone in the garden with his childhood friend.

She had told herself at the time that Darcy had absolutely no justification for his actions.

Though valid, she also knew that everyone was capable of regrettably hurting another – even a loved one.

Elizabeth herself lamented wilfully disobeying Darcy in order to spend time with another man whose company she coveted – who conveyed to her attentions inappropriate for a married woman to honourably receive.

She was ashamed of her own behaviour that day and had long forgiven her contrite husband.

Now, if she could only put her foreboding thoughts behind her and make her mind match her heart, she could perhaps find peace.

One morning Elizabeth decided again to use her journal papers to give free rein to her growing feelings for her husband.

The traitorous musings of the night opened her eyes to her strong feelings of attachment that were hidden within her heart.

The thought of Darcy’s being intimate with another woman caused her extreme pain and true heartache.

Could she bear a life with a husband who sought the arms of another?

The thought had never truly caused her much grief before.

She might have even preferred he go elsewhere to meet his needs that she had always found displeasing.

But now, for a reason she could account to her own growing regard, the idea of his being with another truly appalled her and made her sick to her stomach.

While writing in her journal, she noticed that she needed another quill, for she had worn hers unusable.

Rather than go down to her study, she decided to do something highly unusual.

She elected to look in her husband’s room to see if he might have an extra in his own escritoire.

This decision was made due to her current fatigue and desire to avoid the journey to her study and back, but mostly because she had been missing Darcy and anticipated feeling a sense of his presence while in his room.

Elizabeth hoped that she might be able to find his scent in his dressing room in order to dab a little on a handkerchief.

She felt a little embarrassed about the whole idea and even worried she might be found out, but Darcy’s valet had left with him, and no one else would be around to discover her clandestine agenda.

She quietly made her way through the sitting room and opened her husband’s door.

She nervously looked around his chamber, but the light was too dim to see clearly, so she opened a window panel.

His imposing bed caught her eye before anything else, so she walked over to the side and let her hand stroke the top of the counterpane.

She then leaned over to where the pillows lay and breathed in deeply, trying to catch a hint of his presence.

Appeased by her success, she next walked into his dressing room to search for his manly scents.

She opened two before finding her favourite, the one he wore on that night of their first kiss – the one he wore when her dreams drifted to him.

Elizabeth put her handkerchief up to the bottle and, smiling, released a small portion of liquid.

Now that that task was complete, she looked for his small desk, and when finding it, she began her hunt for a usable quill pen.

While searching she came across an unusual card in the small drawer.

She noticed the card due to the gold lettering embossed on one side that read Madame Karina’s with an address in town.

On the back of the card she beheld the word Adonis in a flowing feminine script.

That is strange. Elizabeth studied the card for a few moments as she considered its possible origins before putting it back in the drawer.

She then found the quill, and left the room, resolved to return again during his absence when she had more time to savour her recollection of being in his arms. Coming into his sanctum left Elizabeth missing her husband more than she could have thought possible.

Not long after she returned to the sitting room, Janette brought an express to her.

Elizabeth saw from the return address that she had received a letter from her husband and smiled brightly as she considered this was the first letter she was to receive from him.

But then she recalled that the letter was by express, and she became apprehensive about its contents, so she quickly broke the seal and read.

April 9, 1811

Darcy House

Dear Elizabeth,

Do not be alarmed on receiving this express.

I only mean to give you notice that my cousin and his wife, Langston and Lady Susan, will be arriving at Pemberley by Easter this week for a visit to last until my own return.

He conveyed his desire to become better acquainted with you, for which I am grateful.

They have stayed at Pemberley in the past, so Mrs. Reynolds will know their room preferences, and the cook should be aware of meals to suit them. You need only be the kind hostess that I know you to be.

I ask that you show Langston the same deference you would me.

While at Pemberley, he will be your protector, so you are to do as he says at all times.

I have one more appeal, Elizabeth. Please defer your walks until my return unless escorted by Langston or Clark.

I will explain more when I return, which should be Wednesday after Easter.

Yours,

FD