Page 162 of Obligation and Redemption
“Of course, if you will have me,” he said as he gave her an affectionate embrace and whispered in her ear, “Thank you, my sweet Elizabeth.” Then he gave her another light kiss to seal the deal before they continued their walk.
DARCY, ELIZABETH AND GEORGIANA enjoyed dinner together in the dining-parlour.
Elizabeth had asked Janette to take extra care in designing a playful, but alluring hairstyle.
Elizabeth chose one of the gowns that her husband had picked out for her when she first arrived at Darcy House.
Although she felt exposed, especially with the augmentation of her bosom owing to her pregnancy, she was not bothered by the idea, as she had been in the past. She knew her husband loved her and would enjoy seeing her dress especially for him.
Janette suspected something was different with the Darcys.
A lady’s maid was privy to many secret affairs of her mistress.
She knew that Darcy had wanted records of his wife’s courses at one time.
Although unfamiliar with the details of the matter, she knew that the Darcys had, generally speaking, been in a platonic relationship since arriving at Pemberley, and she was certain that this could not be healthy in a marriage.
Janette had come into Elizabeth’s room more than once during her mistress’s illness to find Mr. Darcy in bed with her.
He was always dressed, and Mrs. Darcy had seemed too ill to do anything of a physical nature aside from sleeping.
But things would be different tonight. Janette had already picked out a suitable nightdress and planned that her mistress’s hair would be left down rather than plaited as usual.
Also, when bathing, her maid had added extra rose water and spent additional time in her meticulous preparations.
After dinner, the threesome retired to the music room where Elizabeth and Georgiana took turns entertaining a distracted Darcy.
He enjoyed their display but anxiously awaited the night ahead.
Darcy was glad that he had been able to wait for Elizabeth’s invitation, but now, when the time had finally come, he could not bear to delay another moment longer than necessary.
Towards the end of the evening, Elizabeth chose a song that Darcy found most stimulating to his heightened senses, and he wondered if she had chosen it for that purpose.
Regardless, when she was done, he stood, saying, “My dear, that was beautifully done, but on that note, I suggest that we all retire for the night.” No one would blame him when he could not suppress the look of desire that had decisively and pertinaciously taken control of his mien.
Elizabeth blushed, hoping her new sister had not noticed, as she herself had.
Before escorting Georgiana to her room, Darcy took his wife to her door and whispered for her ear alone that he would see her in half an hour’s time.
She smiled shyly at him before closing the door behind her.
Darcy could not miss Elizabeth’s enticing dress and coiffure.
She had obviously gone out of her way for his sake, making herself appear to greatest advantage.
He quickly went to his own room and called for Nelson to prepare him for the night ahead.
Rather than don a nightshirt, he kept on his pants and shirt, but removed the rest of his clothing.
He did not want to intimidate her before the night had begun.
How differently Darcy felt tonight than on their wedding night.
In November, he had thought of himself alone, the pleasure he would experience and the future conveniences of having a wife available to meet his needs.
Add to that, he cared nothing for his new, young and fearful wife.
Elizabeth, though brave in so many ways, was frightened, lonely and distressed, yet he took her anyway and told her she was obligated to make herself available for him.
In his distorted mind, she had nothing else to offer him.
However, now, he wanted nothing more than to give her pleasure and to be available to her for comfort and to meet all of her physical needs.
Darcy wanted to remove her fear and would even forego this evening if he felt that she was not ready to consummate their marriage in true love and affection.
Now he saw that she offered him everything that could bring him true happiness, and that no one matched her ability to do so.
How arrogant he had been, but he would spend the rest of their days together ensuring that she knew how valued and loved she was, how worthy of his adoration.
Elizabeth’s thoughts tended towards a similar train.
She, like her husband, found herself distracted while her lady’s maid worked her magic.
As Janette brushed out her long, thick locks, Elizabeth remembered her wedding night – as well as their other encounters – with trepidation.
Could she bear another experience as she had undergone before?
She recalled his animalistic inclinations; she thought of Lord Langston’s vulgar advances.
Nothing in her could anticipate with pleasure the night ahead, and yet, perhaps she did.
When Darcy held her during those nights of her illness, Elizabeth felt a true peace of mind and comfort.
She imagined, while in his arms, his gentle caresses and tender kisses.
She felt a longing, deep inside of her, to be loved by him, but she could not reconcile those desires with her experience.
In nervous agitation, she bit her lower lip as she strummed her fingers on her now curved belly. “You look lovely this evening, Mrs. Darcy. Your husband will find himself bewitched by your charms.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she blushed yet again. “You must find me quite diverting with my unreasonable fears. He is my husband, and I am carrying his child, for goodness sake!”
“Mrs. Darcy, you have nothing to be frightened of; your husband loves you.”
“Yes, he does. ”
“Would you like some wine?”
“I think not.”
Elizabeth continued in silent contemplation of the night ahead until Janette left her to herself.
She entered her room and waited for Darcy to join her.
It did not take long before he knocked gently on the door and opened it.
She was standing by the fire, shivering from the cold …
or was that fear? She could barely look at him as she nervously glanced to the bed and then the floor before her.
When Darcy opened the door into Elizabeth’s chamber, he stopped short.
There she was, just as he had remembered from the cabin, backlit by the fire, but instead of a wet shift, she wore a silky dressing gown of creamy white.
Her hair cascaded down her back, soft curls framing her face.
Elizabeth had briefly glanced at him, and in her eyes, he saw an array of emotions.
He smiled fondly as he considered how well he had come to know this woman before him.
Darcy saw embarrassment, apprehension and something else.
He had seen it before, even earlier today, and he understood the disturbance of her mind to be passion, though she did not.
He walked up to her and took her hands in his.
When Elizabeth continued looking down, he lifted her chin up to behold her continued look of trepidation.
She was unknowingly biting her lower lip, a gesture that he always found fetching, but her obvious discomposure reminded him to show restraint.
“You are so very beautiful, my love.” Then he reached up further to caress her cheek, as she instinctively leaned into his touch.
“Are you cold? You tremble.” He rubbed her arms as he gazed into her eyes, which had now found an object in his own.
“You will think me a coward, but despite carrying your child, I find that I am rather uneasy. Please forgive me; I am trying not to let my past experiences affect tonight, but I….”
“Shh,” he said as he leaned down and kissed her gently on her cheek where his hand had just been. She felt the now familiar tingling down her back, as she closed her eyes to his tender touch. Darcy moved to her ear with his soft lips, whispering, “I love you, my darling.”
“I know.”
He smiled and lightly kissed her behind the ear. “You sound rather confident.”
“I am, you see,” she sighed contentedly, “for it is in every touch, kiss, gaze, word, and caress that you give me.”
She stopped speaking as his mouth had slowly made its way to her own as he lingered there to savour her welcoming lips.
Darcy explored her mouth as his arms wrapped about her waist. He noticed her legs giving way, so in a fluid motion he picked her up as he had on that nightmarish night when he had carried her to safety, but tonight he need only cross the room to her canopied bed.
His bundle was no less precious tonight as he laid her down on the feathered bedding.
The initial agitation upon her countenance had disappeared as the passion became unmistakable.
She shared equal delight in his ardent kisses as he had hers.
Darcy left her mouth and began to trail kisses down her neck, always gentle, always loving.
He tasted her ear, her throat, her neck again as he untied and opened her dressing gown.
Her nightdress was modest, yet still enticing, in the satiny silk that hugged her skin.
His kisses dared to go lower as he longed for more of her.
But he held back, greatly desiring her, but more so desiring her accord.
He lifted her torso off the bed as he pulled the dressing gown off his wife’s shoulders, her smooth, milky skin drawing his mouth to her yet again.
More than once, he felt himself losing control, but then remembered the trepidation in her eyes, and so restrained his passion.
What he could not fully fathom was that Elizabeth, too, felt an undeniable desire building within her.
She longed for his exquisite touch and began to wish most fervently that he would lose himself to caressing her.
She had never felt so wanton, as her timidity had given way to desire.
So, almost without thought, Elizabeth boldly took his hand in hers and brought it to her breast. The invitation was clear, and he could not refuse.
The next moments were spent in physical giving and taking.
Elizabeth of course had nearly no experience in the art of lovemaking.
She had never known that the feelings, which she now possessed, were even possible.
One moment she felt ever so naughty and the other completely consumed by feelings of rightness.
She knew not how to give him the same pleasure, but soon found that, on this night anyway, she need only accept his ministrations to bring him enjoyment.
Before Elizabeth knew what had happened, her husband had divested himself and covered them with the blankets.
Her only thought was to be ever closer to him; indeed could she feel close enough?
That question was soon answered as he made love to her in truth, speaking the silent language of shared intimacy.
Elizabeth suffered no apprehension; in truth, she would have been pleased had she been able to capture the moment to revisit whenever the fancy took hold.
Darcy could never have imagined such bliss.
If he had considered their previous encounters satisfying, he now knew his error.
His wife’s wilful giving of herself to him, her own pleasurable responses, provided him with profound transport and gratification.
How wrong he had been to consider their previous moments of intimacy to be sufficient.
But then Darcy noticed tears streaming down her face. “My love, am I hurting you?”
She shook her head as she tried to speak. “No, I just, I just never knew.”
He looked in her eyes in the darkened room. “What did you not know?”
“That it could be like this,” she replied clearly overwhelmed by the moment.
He kissed her forehead, then her lips before saying, “Neither did I.”
The two continued in mutual sharing of each other, as he fulfilled his vow on their wedding day to worship her body.
Darcy expressed his love for her as God intended in marriage, and she him.
The fears and pain of the past were forgotten as Elizabeth was enveloped in the love of her husband.
As promised, he stayed with her. In truth, he could not have left had she asked him to.
His demand for her had grown beyond the intense moment of copulation.
He too needed to hold and to be held. With contented satisfaction, he bundled her in his arms as they drifted to sleep, each with a new appreciation for the marriage bed and the one who brought exceeding fulfilment.