Page 60 of Obligation and Redemption
Not wanting to eat in the dining room alone, he too decided he would have a tray sent to his study.
He picked a book to distract him from his present situation.
He normally enjoyed quiet nights alone; indeed, he often preferred them.
However, on this night he felt rather isolated.
His cousin, and closest friend, was tied up with his life in the military, with the real possibility of being shipped off to the battlefield.
He had unwittingly hurt his other dear friend by dashing his hopes for felicity in marriage to a woman who was unsuitable.
His family had to keep their distance for at least the next month as he enlightened his wife to her new role.
His other friends were jesting him with questions of his motivations for marrying.
And his wife was closeted away in her room and had a wall of stone built around her that would not easily come down, if in fact he wanted it down.
To his dismay, he would soon find this to be a long and lonely night.
ELIZABETH WOKE UP FEELING somewhat refreshed.
She had begun the previous day with an invigorating walk; however, she had begun to decline as she shopped for the third day in a row.
The tiresome task of fitting for dresses and standing all afternoon coupled with very little food and liquids, along with inadequate sleep, made her unequal to any exertion, including dressing for dinner, as she had been overcome by a headache.
Her maid brought her tea, but could not induce her to eat, for Elizabeth felt dizzy and morose.
She had penned the short note to her husband and hoped he would understand and not demand that she attend him anyway.
This morning, she decided that a walk might help in furthering her recovery as it often had at Longbourn, but she had not planned for a footman or Mr. Darcy to attend her.
Elizabeth debated upon the best course of action knowing that should she go out alone, Mr. Darcy might be angry.
She thought to wait until the household awoke, but was anxious to get started, so she donned her pelisse and gloves and headed downstairs.
She was about to walk out of the front door, when Clark, the footman whom she met the day before, walked by.
“Mrs. Darcy! Is Mr. Darcy coming down to join you? He had not informed me that he was, but if I need to get his greatcoat, I can be back in a trice.”
Realising she was caught and unable to take her walk alone as she longed, she confessed that she had planned on walking out alone and was only to go a short distance.
“Mr. Darcy would send me packing if I let you go out without an escort. If it would be acceptable to you, would you be willing to wait right here while I grab a coat for myself and inform Franklin of our plan to walk?” To his credit, he took only a moment to gather his outerwear and return with a smile.
They went in the same direction as the day before, but halfway to her previous destination, she began feeling lightheaded and sick to her stomach.
Clark noticed her discomfort and made her sit down on a bench in the park.
He continued to stand and offered to retrieve her something to drink.
Elizabeth was indeed thirsty and would have sent him on his way if not for the risk in which she would be placing him with his employer for leaving her alone.
Instead she made light, merry conversation with him, learning his history with the Darcys.
Elizabeth did not feel well but thought that if she sat there long enough, she might begin to improve.
After perhaps thirty minutes, she decided to try to make her way back to Darcy House.
The morning cold was having a different effect upon her on this day than the one before, for during her rest she had begun to shiver.
After standing, Elizabeth took the arm of her escort, for she truly felt ill.
“Mrs. Darcy, if you don’t mind my saying so, you look very poorly. When we get back to the house, I will ask your maid to get you something warm to eat and drink. A good meal from cook can do wonders.”
“You are considerate. I am happy to know that my husband’s home has such proficient and valuable employees.
I would imagine there are few homes that can boast such fine young men keeping things afloat.
” He smiled down at her. Elizabeth had a way of disarming most all people with her easy manners and engaging personality.
No matter the class, Elizabeth treated all people with the same consideration and respect.
The walk home took about twice as long as the one out, and by the end, Elizabeth was ready to lie down and get some much-needed rest. While climbing the steps to the house, her pulse sped up. What is wrong with me? I have never felt this way before.
As they entered the foyer, Elizabeth was holding onto the footman.
The butler approached them requesting if help was needed.
Clark opened his mouth to reply when Elizabeth, not wanting to bring attention to herself, said, “All is well. If you could just have Mrs. Johnson send Laura to my room.” Elizabeth’s pallor was evident to all but herself.
She headed to the stairs and began slowly climbing them towards her room.
When she reached the top, she held onto the railing to catch her breath, and it was at this time that Mr. Darcy came up.
Seeing that she was struggling, he walked over and put his hand under her arm for support.
Stunned, she looked up to him. “Excuse me, sir, but I am fine. If you will just allow me to go to my room.”
He heard the coldness in her voice, but pressed on. “You don’t look like you are fine. Truly, you look ill. Where have you been?”
“As you can see, I have gone out for a walk and have just returned.”
“Alone?”
“No, Clark was kind enough to accompany me.”
“That is his job, Elizabeth, not kindness.”
She focused her eyes upon him, incensed at his tone of voice, but too tired to do anything about it.
So instead, she said, “If you will excuse me, I have need of my maid and a bath.” Elizabeth realised that she had no reason whatsoever to be affronted by Mr. Darcy, but in her weakened state, she was incapable of doing otherwise.
His touch discomposed her, and not understanding her sentiments while feeling poorly, she hoped to extract him from her person.
His close proximity unnerved her and she just wanted to be left alone.
She stopped to apologise; however, Darcy had already moved on, as he too was chafed at her own tone of voice.
Elizabeth entered her room and was immediately accosted by Laura, who had been worried about her since the night before.
“Mrs. Darcy, where have you been?” Now this was the same question she had just heard from her husband, not two minutes before, but to Elizabeth’s ears now, it resounded with compassion rather than pique .
“Laura, I just need a warm bath and perhaps some tea. Could you have some water brought up?”
“Right away, ma’am, and perhaps something hot to eat as well. I bet the cook can prepare some eggs and toast.”
Elizabeth crinkled her nose. “No, truly, I just want tea.”
“Mrs. Darcy, I know it isn’t my place, but I feel I must tell you that I think you are not eating nearly enough.
Your body is getting weak, and I am afraid you will soon be ill if you aren’t already.
” Elizabeth was unable to argue against Laura given the current evidence in support of the maid’s claim.
“I will try, but you must understand, I truly feel sick when I take a bite.”
Laura would have suspected that perhaps her new mistress had been experiencing the ill effects of a previously inopportune pregnancy; however, she was witness to the evidence on the wedding night.
That, coupled with the obvious pain and distress of her mistress on that occasion, gave testament to her innocence in that regard.
She was thankful for Mr. and Mrs. Darcy’s sake that there was sufficient proof to demonstrate otherwise, for she knew the staff would be making sport with Mrs. Darcy’s nausea.
The common belief was that Mr. Darcy had been forced into marriage due to a weak moment when alone with the lovely Miss Bennet.
Laura was relieved to know this was not the case, but today, she worried about what might be causing the young bride to experience such unfavourable physical symptoms. One thing she knew: if Mrs. Darcy did not begin to eat, she would surely continue to suffer.
DARCY CONSIDERED HIS DAY AHEAD in light of Elizabeth’s illness.
She was definitely unwell, no matter his previous thoughts that she might have been attempting to get out of an evening with him.
She had walked too far the day before; he would have to put an end to that kind of behaviour, which was obviously not to her benefit.
He would go see his sister and hope to visit with Fitzwilliam, whom he had not yet seen.
Then later, rather than go to the club, he would make his way to Angelo’s for his own exercise.
He had gone without the company of a woman for so long, how could he find himself so weak in managing the deprivation of just a few days?
It was not that he had feelings for Elizabeth; her faults were glaring.
But he had physical desires that he had managed by sheer willpower for years; however, now that the floodgates had been opened, the wave of overwhelming passion, in addition to Elizabeth’s availability and allure, was diminishing his physical control.