Page 87 of June: Jess' Story

“What the fuck?!” I yell, then turn around to move to Damian’s side where he’s clutching his nose.

When I look up, there’s Alex. He’s fucking fuming and I’m hit with the overwhelming urge to cry. I never once felt like I was doing anything wrong all night long…except now. He’s looking at me like I’m trash and I want to scream at him,“Well, you didn’t want me, what do you expect me to do!?”But then he’s yelling at Damian.

“You fucking piece of shit! If you don’t tellher, I fucking will,” he yells at Damian with a finger pointed in his face.

He looks at me, and my chest caves inward.

“You,” his chilling malice slices me open, “were a mistake. You comingherewas a mistake.” And then he’s storming out, pushing through the crowd to get the fuck away from us as quickly as possible.

“Who isher?” I ask Damian, a bit bewildered.

He looks at me a bit oddly and says, “I’m sorry.” And then security guards are escorting us out, and Damian goes out the back and I get taken out the front where I stand like a fucking idiot for far too long looking around at the rest of the world just taking place. How can the world just keep going when I feel like my soul has been ripped from my body, wrung out, then hung up to be stoned to death while a 12th-century woman yells “Shame!” at me over and over?

TWENTY-FOUR

Then

Alex

I pick up the call as soon as I clear the door. It’s a recording like it always is with a code at the end. The code tells me where I’m supposed to be and when.Not now.I hang up and immediately call Blanks. It rings four times, and I’m about to give up and start calling the others when he finally picks up.

It’s loud. He’s out.Fuck. He never goes out.

“Let me guess, you just got a call?” I’d ask how he knows, but I’m guessing he’s with other unit members who also just got a call.

“Yeah, but I’m in DC. Can you cover down?” I can hear some girl talking in the background.Fuck me. He never goes out to meet girls.

“You’re killing me, Pal,” Blanks groans. I can picture him in the bar, beer in hand, head tilted back in annoyance.

“I’ll owe you.”

He groans again. “How big a deal is this, really?”

“I’m meeting her. I-I’m withhernow. I just fucking walked out of the bar to take the call, and now I’m out here talking to you while Damian charms the pants off of her as we speak probably!” Might be too loud.

“Whoa whoa, calm down. Who isher?”

I pace in front of the Old Ebbitt Grill and run a hand down my mouth and over my chin, preparing for the shock that comes with admitting this.

“I know I said I’d never get married. Ever again. But if I did, it would be with her.” There’s a sound of a bottle crashing over the line.

“Wow,” is all Blanks says back.

“Yeah.” I’m still pacing, running my hand through my hair because every minute I spend out here talking is one less minute I’ve had with her. “Come on, man, please?” I’m fucking begging, for this woman. Never thought I’d see the day. But here I am, fucking ten minutes from getting down on one knee. Not that I plan on doing that tonight, but I could see it soon. Sooner than later. Just need to get off this call and get Damian to go the fuck home to his wife instead of moping around some oyster bar like a fucking loaner.

“Alright. But I’m the best man at your wedding. Fucking promise it. It’s not Damian, it’s me.” He’s being one thousand percent serious.

“Done.”

“Deal.” We both hang up at the same time. Don’t like goodbyes.

I walk back into the restaurant like this is the start of a new chapter or some shit. People like me don’t get second chances. I won’t fuck it up this time.

I walk into the oyster bar and find our table has been turned over to a group of interns. Heart rate spikes.There are seven exits and twelve windows, not including the ones that open to the atrium.And there are four bars. Maybe they moved? I know they didn’t fucking move, but I still check each bar before walking out to the atrium to see if they’re there, too. They’re not.

What started as an off feeling when Jess showed up has turned into an all-out infestation growing rapidly, seizing my lungs. It’s the start of a panic attack. So I quickly find an empty hallway in the business side of the building and I box breathe. And focus. I pull out my phone and call Damian. No avail. I call Jess. Nothing.

Calm down.It’s not like they’ve been taken. It’s fucking DC for christ’s sake.