Page 42 of June: Jess' Story

And that’s when Matt loses control and takes a swing.Finally.

I let him clip me, just barely on the chin, then stepping back, putting my weight into it, I slam him back and the audible crunch is almost as deeply satisfying as the view I have, looking down on him, knocked out cold on the ground.

Chances of him ending up with Britain -%100.

ELEVEN

Alex

The thing is, spending time around Jess, it’s not good for me. Every word, every look, every laugh, frown — it stays with me long after she’s gone.

It’s been days since I saw her, but here I am. Sitting at my kitchen table, still thinking abouther. There’s almost nothing I can do to get the mental onslaught to stop. It’s just a relentless pulsing in my brain. A laugh. A scrunch of her nose. That sad look she got halfway through lunch. Then repeat it all again.

I shouldn’t have stayed for lunch that day, after the Matt incident. But Brit wanted me to, Liam wanted me to, and, well…I’m trying to stick. I just wish they would’ve asked me to lunch on a day she wasn’t there.

At lunch, though, there was something she said…and I can’t fucking shake it. She said, “Who knows where I’ll be this time next year.” It was morehowshe said it than what she said.

Why wouldn’t she be in DC? Her and Tommy have a nice row house. Capitol Hill. He makes a shit ton of money as a lawyer. She’ll be okay…right? Alimony, child support, half whatever that house is worth…

She’s not my problem.Yeah, no she isn't. But also sort of wish she was.

I also can’t shake the fact that she overheard me talking about herthat night. And if she hadn’t heard me, would everything be different? It’s not that what I said wasn’t true on some level. It’s just that I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t want people to know Jess was Amy’s cousin. I didn’t want people to have any preconceived notion of who she was to me, so that someday, when she was mine, people would just say, “That’s Jess, Alex’s wife.”Why is that the first word I think of?

I never wanted it to be, “That’s Jess, his late wife’s cousin that he sometimes texted with about his late wife and daughter and now he’s fucking her.” Because I sort of wanted her to be mine. Just mine. All of that is past tense, though, isn’t it?

I’ve spent years despising her, thinking she was something, that really,maybe, she wasn’t…

I don’t really let people in. But I let Jess in. Or maybe she pushed her way in, but either way, I wanted her there.

It might have been the first time I saw her in that sundress with yellow flowers. It might have been that Christmas when she didn’t reach out. It may have been the first time we talked on the phone, not just texted. It could have been when I saw herthatnight that I knew. And then kind of like my life goes, it went to shit. I saw her, I knew, and then I had that weird gut feeling, and it all went sideways.

I may have played it too cool, though.Obviously.I oversold her meaning nothing to me. Clearly.

The nagging feeling about Jess’ situation just won’t stop, though.Fuck.

I tell myself I’m just playing devil’s advocate, but really I’m just acting like a fool when I open my laptop and write a quick email.

Hey,

I know it’s been a while, we need to catch up next time I’m in the city.

This might seem sort of out of the blue, but I’m looking to get a prenup drawn up. Keep it on the DL, please? Haven’t told Damian or my sister. Just curious about your recommendations. Happy to put you on retainer if you can do it, or if you have a referral?

Thanks,

Alex Palomino

My front door swings open, and I slam my laptop shut when my sister traipses in looking like someone just pissed in her Wheaties.

“Brit? Is everything okay?”

She barely registers me and says, “I just need sleep.” That’s fair. I’ll check on her in a couple hours. I can’t keep up with the ups and downs between her and Liam. I have to disconnect from it a little bit just so I don’t preemptively kill him just because he bought her the wrong coffee creamer or something. Not that he would. Pretty sure that man is thoroughly and completely pussy whipped, which is disgusting because that’s my sister.

Blech.

Alex!

Congrats, man! Never thought I’d see the day. Do I know the lucky lady?