Page 116 of June: Jess' Story

“Will do, love you!”Still weird.

“Uh huh, bye!”

Jamie has decided to tell me he loves me, much in the same way you’d tell a sister. (Duh.) I’m not sold, but I’m also notnotsold. Some day Eden will probably think it’s amazing that all her parents loved each other. So I tolerate it because I love Jamie in that same entirely platonic way, too. I just don’t want to tell him every time I go to the supermarket.

We’ve been cohabitating for two months now. And honestly, no complaints. Going from single parenting to having three committed parents feels like a vacation. There’s always an extra hand, there’s always someone willing to tag in when you want to tap out, and the free nights are actual bliss.

I don’t even feel anything when I watch them kiss or cuddle anymore. It’s all just very…normal. And Eden is happy. So I’m happy.

Maybe I’m not the happiest. But I’m happy. To be working for Liam still. To not feel maxed out on life every day. To not be shackled to a man who still resents me. Also not shackled to a man who doesn’t love me. It’s all good things. Honestly. And I’m even making my kale and walnut pesto tonight. Like, we are living. We aregood. (Are you convinced yet?)

The Whole Foods gods have even smiled upon me today because I get first-floor parking in the garage.Yes!

I’m still pulling out my grocery tote (filled with more totes) when my name gets called out across the garage. I don’t really have friends here anymore, so it takes me by surprise.

“Jess!” I turn towards the voice to see a cute-as-pie Summer in her spring best bounding toward me.Oh.

“Summer.” My cheeks flush when I notice the bump she’s rocking.Ohhhh. “Hi and, um, congratulations.” She sets a hand over her little bump proudly. Veryawesome.

“Thanks! Um, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“Just busymommin’, you’ll know.” God, could I be any more awkward? “Well, Damian and the girls must be so excited. I can’t believe I haven’t heard about this until now!”

Her face falls a fraction. “Oh, no. Damian broke up with me six months or so ago. This,” she pats her belly, “isn’t Damian’s!”Oh, lord. Thank you.I want to visibly sigh with relief, but I try to roll with it.

“Oh! I just thought you two reconciled…" The cogs in my brain start turning. “Well, he told me you broke up with him?”

She rears back slightly. “No, he definitely broke up with me.” She sort of laughs, “Because he couldn’t get over?—”

“Brit?” I cut her off expectantly, already nodding my head like,Girl, I get it.

“Well, no…”Huh…

“Weird! I don’t really keep up with him anymore, so it’s news to me!” (I don’t and it is.) “I should let you get going, but umm, congrats to you and your lucky someone again!”

Summer looks back over at her Lexus SUV where a tech bro is waiting for her. (Makes complete sense.) I smile and she smiles back.

“Nice to see you, Jess.” I nod and she flounces away, her Ganni dress flapping against the April breeze.

I’ve kept my distance to mostly everyone except Tommy, Jamie, and Brit. And Liam. (Because he’s my boss). I haven’t talked to Damian since that night, and certainly not Alex. (Definitely fucking not.)

Jess

Hey, it’s been a while. How are you?

Caroline

First home game of the softball season is next Saturday. Can you come?

You betcha. But you didn’t answer, how are you?

Better every day.

Okay, love you.

Love you more.

I pocket the phone and head into battle at Whole Foods on a Saturday, on the first nice day of spring.