Page 34 of June: Jess' Story
When I open my eyes, I realize just how close we are. We aren’t cuddling, but our hands are still clasped and we’re lying, facing each other. Like a sixth sense, Damian’s breathing falters and his eyes flutter open.
“I’m sorry,” I say after it’s been a couple seconds of us staring at each other. Both of us are trying to make sense ofthis. “I know you didn’t want to stay…”
“Shh…” He pulls me in closer, into a hug that melts away any residual discomfort. “Let’s go make coffee before Eden and Brit wake up, yeah?” I nod against him and we both roll away from each other to head towards the kitchen.
In the light of (almost) day, this feels different than I expected. It doesn’t feel like I just spent the night in bed with someone I shouldn’t have. It feels exceedingly normal.
Damian moves around the kitchen, pulling out coffee mugs and turning on the Nespresso machine while I pull out a stool at the kitchen island to wait. We occasionally make eye contact and every time results in a little half smile from me or a one-dimpled grin from him.
He makes my coffee first, then his, then takes a seat at the stool beside me.
“So…” he starts, but I don’t want (read:can’twant) to see where this leads.
Clearing my throat abruptly, I say, “I won’t tell anyone about last night if you don’t. I know you were just helping me out. As a friend.” He stares at me blankly, then nods.
He takes a sip of his coffee. Then another. And we both sit there silently watching as the sun starts to rise over the lake.
This place is definitely an acquired taste, but watching the sun crest over the golden hills, bathing the kitchen in orange and violet light, I can see myself quickly acclimating and acquiring said taste. I didn’t even know a landscape like this existed. It’s foreign, yes, but I think there’s something beautiful about it. In the same way items, places, even people are overlooked for their normality, too.
If you dig, examine, look harder at what’s actually happening, you’ll see the beauty. The possibilities. The dependability in the normal. I sigh, and it pulls Damian’s attention away from the picture windows.
This, my friendship with him, is one of those things, too.Beautiful.
Beautiful. That word doesn’t get tossed around nearly enough-I put an abrupt stop to the memory playing in my mind. Nope, I’m not reliving that night. Not here, not now.
When Eden starts babbling on the baby monitor, I excuse myself to get her. I do a quick diaper change and when we get back to the kitchen, Damian’s outside on the phone, pacing, like his CEO switch got flipped on.
That’s okay. Because nothing more needs to be said or done about this. Period. It was just me needing comfort, and he was there to give it. The end.Fin.(I don’t know if I’m convincing you or myself right now.)
When Brit finally comes down, I switch into best friend support mode.
I try to steer the conversation away from Liam seeing as last night ended in tears. Today, I’m taking a different approach: 1. Amp Brit up. 2. Hype up the new guy. 3. Don’t talk about Liam. In that order.
The door bell ringing surprises all of us, but none so more than me when Brit let’s in a fucking centerfold, panty dropper of a man. Tall-dark-and-cut traipses into her entryway with a bouquet of flowers and a bakery box.
“Stare much, Jess?” I close my hanging open mouth at Damian calling me out. I was so awestruck, I didn’t even hear him come in.
“It’s just not what I was expecting…” I pick up Eden out of her high chair to walk towards the living room where I have a better view of the scene unfolding before me. Damian follows.
I watch as the woman who couldn’t be any more broken, goes up on her tip toes and gets a thorough tongue fucking from the man, whom I’m assuming is Matthias. (Her new beau.)
It’s the burn of jealousy at the back of my throat that surprises me, too.Fuck.If this is making me feel some sort of way, this must be decimating Damian. When I look at him briefly, he’s looking at me uncomfortably.
I clear my throat to get Brit’s attention and to protect my friend who probably never needed to see this.
Brit turns back to her sheepish self when she realizes we’re in the living room with a clear view of the unfolding lust fest.
She does a quick, yet awkward introduction before pulling Matthias back out the front door.
I immediately turn to Damian, “I’m sorry you had to see that. You must be feeling?—”
He puts a hand up and rears back slightly, “You have no clue what I’m feeling, Jess. No fucking clue.”So that’s a yes.He must be feeling all kinds of jealousy and hurt over what just unfolded.
And then it gets worse.
When we hear Britain moan through the front door, my stomach turns queasy for him. This is killing him. I know it.
Thankfully it ends a few minutes later when Brit floats back into the house on a high I would honestly kill for. She even has this stupid, euphoric-looking smile plastered all over her face. I mirror the smile as best I can because she deserves this, regardless of whatever is happening on this side of the living room. My jealousy, Damian’s unrequited love. None of that matters right now.