Page 51 of June: Jess' Story

“How’d you know it was the Sad Girl Starter Pack?” She gives me a sad, knowing smile in return.

“Because I know, Jess. You should have called me.”

“My phone’s broken.” She rolls her eyes, picks up her phone and starts texting.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Sending Liam to get you a new phone.” She says it so nonchalantly.

“You don’t need to do that, I can get a new phone.”

“Sure, maybe youcan, but have you?” I shake my head, and she continues, “No, you haven’t. So I’ll do it for you.” She looks down at her phone then back at me after it pings with a new message. “See, done.”

Imagine just having it likethat.Hey babe, run to the store and get my friend a new phone?

Fucking cake walk.

“I’m fine, Brit. You’ve come, you’ve seen me, you’ve seen Eden…” who is sitting in a Pack ‘n Play in the living room while Bluey plays. “I have to go to work.” She frowns at me.

“Assuming I came here and you weren’t rotting on your apartment floor, I have a surprise lined up for you.”

“What?” I say, a bit exasperated.

“You have an interview tomorrow.” As if it isn’t pitiful enough she’s buying me a new phone, now she has to get me a job, too?

“You don’t have to do this. I can get a different job…I’m choosing not to. This one is mindless and it’s perfect. It gets me up and out of the house. It’s close proximity to home, and I like the regulars.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” I hate when she uses my own words against me.

I walk over to the eat-in, grabbing for a cup of coffee out of the drink holder, but Brit stops me. “Uh-uh. No coffee until you agree to go to the interview.” I’m suddenly a surly teenager, pissed off and moody.

“Fine,Mom.” I say back to her, but she just laughs. Loudly, in my face.

“Great!” she says back to me. “Call in sick and go take a shower.” There’s a large part of me that wants to fight back, tell her to go to hell. I’m making it just fine on my own. But then, there’s the other part that’s just so fucking relieved to have someone take over and take control, even if it’s just temporary.

I (begrudgingly) grab a chocolate chip cookie, a coffee, text Marian to take the day off, and go sit in the tub for an hour before Brit starts yelling at me to move my ass. I can even hear her little booted foot tapping impatiently outside the bathroom door.Fine.

Throwing on a baggy cable knit sweater and even baggier cargo pants, I walk out of my room and see Liam playing with Eden while Brit washes my dishes.

“Hey!” Liam says, genuinely happy to see me. I give him a head nod.

“Oh, good.” Brit sets down the last dry plate. “Your options are, to A. Accompany me on a bakery crawl, or to B. Let me take you shopping, aka, I need your help shopping.” She stands there, dead serious, waiting for an answer.

“I’m really hoping you make the right choice because none of my clothes are fitting,” she pats her belly, “and I really don’t need any more croissants.”

“I don’t know…I could really go for a cupcake, or twelve…”

Her face falls, but then she sort of snarls her lip. (It’s not really possible, she’s too cute.)

“Fine. Let’s go shopping.”

When we walk into Gucci on Wooster, that’s when I know this shopping trip isn’t for Brit. The Great?For sure. Celine?Maybe. Gucci?No. I have never once seen Britain willingly reach for anything Gucci.

“Brit…” She ignores me.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?” She doesn’t look at me when she asks. She just starts overturning bell glasses, smelling each parfum in the apothecary section.

“Because it wasn’t…” Until it was. And obviously, I can’t say:“Oh, because I think I maybe, likely, fell in love with your brother years ago, and when I found out he’s getting married, I think a little piece of me died. And I don’t even really know that it’s because he’s getting married, but just that everyone else’s lives seem to be moving forward while I regress, and I’m having a pity party.”