Page 77 of June: Jess' Story
Once I hear the back door click shut, I immediately launch in. “I’m not fucking Damian. Not even remotely. We’re friends. Just friends.”
“Friends don’t normally have to sneak off together.” So he was eavesdropping.
“No, you’re right, but when it’s your best friend's ex, things get trickier…” He doesn’t nod in understanding. He just stands there stoically. Still. “He’s my friend. I don’t know what you want me to say or do about that, but I’m not fucking him, don’t intend to, and don’t have those kinds of feelings for him.”
Nothing back. Still.
“He called because Summer moved out. Gave back his ring, and he’s feeling a little out of pocket this holiday. I invited him to stay with us to take the pressure off being around Brit and Liam. That’s all.”
Nothing.
“And I told him we could probably sneak off to grab a drink and talk because Brit doesn’t know that we’re friends like that because I don’t know that she would understand. But if it’s important to you, I will tell her.”
“Okay, great.” I’m surprised when he finally says something back.
“Okay, you want me…to tell Brit that I’m friends with her ex-husband?”
“Yes, honesty is important to me.” Ahh, there it is.
“Okay, then I will,” I say back with resolve. When he doesn’t say anything more, I turn around to pull the food processor off its stand,where the pesto is still sitting. Avoiding looking at him, I say, “And I want to be here, too, Alex.” But when I turn back to look at him, he’s gone, and so are the steaks off the counter. He’s fucking stealthy.
“So, how’d you two meet?” Caleb and I ask at the same time. Both of us were probably desperate to break the icy tension that’s settled over the dinner table from the moment we all sat down. I smile, and so does Caleb, but Alex just glares off distantly.
It’s such a stark contrast to the man who took care of me last night, or fucked me in the early morning hours. So different from the man who fed my daughter breakfast or took me to a place he used to go with his mom. This man is night and day from the one who kissed me in the middle of Safeway because he wanted to. It’s a reminder, I guess. The man still mostly hates me.
I motion to Alex. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Tell him how we met.” I place my fork down and lean back in my chair slightly.
“She’s Amy’s cousin,” he says coldly, if not dismissively. Andwow, does it fucking hurt. The way he says it detaches any sentiment towards me. I’m just herebecauseof Amy. Another reminder. Caleb makes a snorting sound when he lightly chokes on his pesto pasta. (Kale and walnut pesto. Honestly, it’s my signature dish and I’ve wasted it on this shitty night. Nobody’s appreciating it at this meal except Eden.)
“Yep, I’m just the next best thing to the original.” I say back just as cooly, looking Alex in the eyes as my own turn watery. I’ve taken, at most, one bite of food, so setting my napkin on the table, I stand calmly and start undoing the straps on Eden’s highchair. I dust a couple pieces of pasta onto the floor, then grab her diaper bag and my purse, and head to go find dinner somewhere else. Anywhere the fuck else.
This car is nice.If I could ever afford this in the future, I’d absolutely buy it again. (The chances of me lasting a year with Alex to get the settlement are dwindling by the second.) As of now, I’m just praying to win custody, and nothing else.
“Maaaa!” Eden screams. She’s getting fussy regardless of the smooth Volvo handling the mountain roads. She’s probably starved.
I so badly want to drive to Brit’s, but I’m not sure I’m welcome anymore, so instead we head to the main strip of town. I’ve got two options, Maggio’s or Colton’s. Pizza or the bar.
The parking lot is surprisingly crowded at Colton’s, but a massive truck vacates as we pull in, luckily, so I make the split-second decision and park at Colton’s. While I’m unbuckling Eden, I check out the exterior of the place. It looks like a big log cabin except for the sign out front that says “Coltons.” That and the neon I can see glowing through the windows.
We walk up the front steps where there’s a porch with rocking chairs, one occupied by a man in a cowboy hat smoking a cigar. I swear, you can’t make this stuff up.
Inside, the place is just wood. Everywhere and every surface is just…wood. Bright, yellowy pine screaming at you behind lit-up neon. It smells slightly musty, with a hint of beer and fried food.“Brit said this place was good. Give it a chance. Our takeaway last night was decent,”I repeat to myself over and over.
There’s a sign that says “Seat Yourself, Folks!” so I do. Not that there are many options, but I choose a table that’s as far away from the rest of the locals as possible. There’s a stack of highchairs in a corner by a jukebox, so setting down our bag, we head over to get one.
Mid-lift (mid-attempt) to unstack the chairs, a gentleman swings over to help me. He’s got tattoos running up and down his arms and longish sandy colored hair thrown up into a man bun. Bet this is the hot owner. He has a bar rag hanging out the back pocket of his tight black jeans, and his flannel shirt is unbuttoned one too many, revealing more tats on his chest.
“I got it, take a seat. I’ll be right over,” the man says to me kindly.
He follows us back to our table, carrying the chair like it isn’t made of solid wood and weighs nothing more than a feather. I get Eden strapped in, but she’s already reaching for the caddy of sugar packets. The man that brought over the highchair notices. He leaves, but is back in a flash with some packets of crackers.
“She looks ‘bout ready to eat,” he says jokingly and I look at him with genuine gratefulness, unwrapping a packet and letting Eden go to town on the saltine.
“What can I get you to drink, darling?” I let him calling me darling slide. (Just this once.)
“A beer, any kind, and an apple juice for her?” I ask, sounding more tired thanI thought I was. He gives an almost sad smile back and leaves.
I pull out my phone, but this should come as no surprise, there are no new notifications. I grab the menu from where it’s slid up against the wall and look for something that I know can be cooked well-done and I can split with Eden.