Page 44 of June: Jess' Story

“You…could stay…”

She shakes her head, takes another sip of clear, and says, “It’d just be on borrowed time before I have to go, and I think the family could use some time ‘just the family,’ you know?” She nods towards the great room picture windows where Britain and Liam and her kids, his parents, Constantine, and his kids are all watching Damian play with their new dog. Yeah, I get it.

Pretty familiar feeling for me, outsider looking in, but this feels like new territory for Jess, maybe.

“Okay…if you ever need anything, you should call.” She looks at me in disbelief. I don’t want to give her a chance to come up with a dig or a comeback or say something snide, so I blurt out, “I’m sorry.” It’s rushed.

Her incredulous look turns to surprise. “For what?” she asks cautiously.

Don’t like this feeling. “For making you feel stupid…for being a dick.” I shrug to try and play it off like it’s cool. This isn’t a big deal, just a regular apology, and not like her accepting it will change the rest of my life.

“Okay.” That’s it. That’s all she gives.Fair.

I knock my knuckles against the wood, getting ready to say goodbye, sending a vibration down the railing that, in turn, sends the baby monitor falling off the second-story deck into some bushes below. Jess let’s out a little gasp while leaning over the railing to see if she can see where it landed.

“Fuck, sorry. I’ll get it.” I push off the ledge and jog down the dark stairs. Of course the sun has finally tucked itself behind the house and all I can see is the lit-up stair treads and not much else.

Stepping to the side, I look back up at the deck, gauging where the monitor might have landed, but Jess isn’t there anymore. She’s at my back, following me. Nearly colliding with me where I’ve stopped.

Her eyes go a bit wide, pupils blown. Could be lust, could be the low lighting. Hard to tell.

I step off the stairs and on to the inclined landscaping that slopes towards the lake. And Jess is still right behind me, a gentle hand on my arm like she might get lost if she lets go, but it's not that dark.

Judging where we were standing, I look up at the top deck. Then back down into the bushes and it should be somewhere in…here. I lean forward and pick up the monitor. As I turn to show it to Jess, her foot gives under the slippery pine needles.She shouldn’t have come down here in those sandals.But I reach out an arm, right around her midsection and haul her up against me before she even has a chance to fall.

Her hands find my chest, her eyes find mine, her breathing speeds up, and her heart rate does, too. It’s easy to tell because my body wants to fall in sync with hers. My breath matches hers, my heart mirrors hers. And we stick together like that.How we should have been all along.

“Jess…” I say softly, almost a whisper. I miss hearing her name. I’ve dreamed of hearing her name on my lips…like this.

“Alex…” she copies in the same tone. Her tongue darts out wetting her top lip…fuck me. I pocket the monitor, bringing my hand up to her forearm to hold her steady.Fine, it’s so she doesn’t leave. Even though I keep a firm arm around her midsection, I let my other hand start a gentle ascent towards her neck.

Fuck me if my hand doesn’t slightly tremble, and in response she gets goose bumps. She could stop me. I’m not holding her that tight.

“Alex…wh-what are we doing?” she asks, sending a zinging bolt of fire through me. She asked ‘what arewedoing?,’ not ‘what amIdoing?’ She’s in this with me.

“What I should have done the first time I saw you.” I drop my head slightly, and she reaches up. I can feel her grip deepen as she goes up on her toes, and then I slam my mouth down on hers, unable to hold back a second longer.

There’s nothing gentle about what I’m doing. It’s a claiming. It’s a kiss that says, “This is Jess, Alex’s Jess.”Do you understand?It’s an open-mouth feast, and I’ve come hungry. Starved, actually. Because this kiss is the shit that men go to war over, and she has not a fucking clue I would for her. I already am.

I slip a hand to the back of her skull, undoing the hair she just put up and let the clip fall.Hope she wasn’t sentimental about that. Her hair tumbles down and I pull away from her mouth because I want to see her, memorize her.

In the low light, I can just make out her swollen lips, red from rubbing against my short beard andfuck. Can’t wait to see her inner thighs look the same way.

Her eyes are wide and hungry, like maybe she’s been starving, too. Her hair falls, framing her heart-shaped face, and my hand glides up the back of her head. The feel of her silky hair between my fingers feels like a dream. Is it a fucking dream? How does this end? Just an abrupt awakening? Does it turn intoa nightmare when she pushes me away? Does it turn into more?

“It’s up to you,” I whisper to her, knowing she knows what I mean, leaving the ball in her court. I want this. So unequivocally. But maybe she doesn’t.

She takes a step away, taking everything good in life with her. My one arm is still around her waist to keep her from slipping, but I let the hand that had been in her hair fall.Right. Cue nightmare.

She takes my now free hand between both of hers, running one hand over the top, while the other cradles my hand from below. There’s a tenderness there as she slips her small fingers over my bruised knuckles, then threads a hand in mine and leads me back up, but just to the lower-level deck.

It’s attached to the basement level that’s never used. The only light comes from slivers of yellow pushing through the cracks in the deck flooring above us.

There’s a couple outdoor sofas with covers still on and Jess pushes me to sit down. And, of course, I fucking do. I’ve fantasized, gotten myself off so many times just thinking about this. Her. Pushing me down, and having her way, because Jess isn’t the type to be dominated. Not that I won’t break her of that eventually, but right now, she’s the boss.

She settles on top of me, her thighs straddling mine, and when she reaches for my belt buckle, I pull her face towards mine again, kissing her with my all. I run my tongue along her full lips and she opens on a sigh. It’s so fucking subtle, it’s beautiful. If I could record that sound, I think I could eventually be conditioned to come every time it played.

“Do you want this, Alex?” She pulls away, asking in a whisper. She doesn’t know I do?