Page 62 of June: Jess' Story

“How’d you do all that one-handed?” I ask in awe.

He shrugs. “An older couple saw you and Eden break down and asked if they could help. Said they should have offered sooner.” Of course, the hot single dad gets help, but the single mother? I hate this fucking world sometimes.

I reach for Eden, but he shakes me off. “Don’t want to wake her up again when we have to put her in the car. You push the suitcases, I’ll get the stroller.” (We. He said we.) I don’t argue, I just follow him out into the moderate, November, California sun.Okay. Taking a deep breath in.Okay. We can do this, Jess.

This weather is giving me life. It’s maybe 68 degrees, sunny, and Thanksgiving is in two days. I’m starting to understand the West Coast hype.

The airport isn’t huge. There’s not even a parking garage, you just walk out to the parking lot and find your car. I keep following Alex, but don’t see his Jeep anywhere. We come to a stop and the lights flash on a Volvo SUV with 30-day tags.

“You got a new car?” I ask, astonished. He’s always had his Jeep. It’s a matte green,oldJeep. I mean, really old. Like he’s had it for decades and it was old when he got it. There’s a story to it, he told me once, but that’s neither here nor there.

He smiles at me. “No, butyoudid.”Oh. I immediately want to tell him it’s too much, but he stops me. “It’s a safety thing. I can’t have the two of you in the Jeep, okay?” It immediately shuts me up.Understood.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” I just accept it because he’s right.

“Go get in the car, I’ve got this.”

I look at the baby on his shoulder, the stroller and car seat, the three suitcases. “Don’t be ridiculous. Give me Eden while you install the carseat.”

“I’ve got a car seat already installed. Let me get this, okay?” Alex moves towards me. He puts a hand on my hip and drags me a little closer. My breathing halts at his touch. “I’m sorry I didn’t fly with you. I should have been there. Won’t happen again.” And then he leans down and kisses me. On the lips. He kisses me, and…and it’s not for show. My heart thunders, heat floods my panties, and my tongue slips into his mouth. He pulls away with a gentle chuckle. “At least let me get E down first, okay?”

I nod and stand there like an idiot when he moves around to the backseat to put Eden in her rear-facing car seat. It’s a Nuna, a good one, too.He researched it.Fuck. How am I not supposed to fall head over heels for him? How am I supposed to notthrowmyself at him? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen right? I fall in love with my soon-to-be husband? (Can’t fall in love when you already are, though.) A husband I have to be with for at least a year. I might as well enjoy it…right?

I slide the two smaller suitcases in the trunk, break down the stroller and old car seat. I put my purse in the front seat and open the backseat to set the diaper bag down. As I do, I see Alex gently tucking Eden into her seat. He slowly moves her arms through the straps and clips everything in silently. It’s so stealthy, and a miracle Eden has remained asleep. And that’s when it grips me.

I might as well enjoy it, right?Wrong. You only reach stealth level of parenthood through doing. He’s done all this before — for his own daughter. And with his actual wife. I’m just a cheap knockoff.

I take a deep breath, shut the backseat door quietly, and climb into the front passenger seat to wait.

“You’re being quiet,” Alex says as we drive out of town (past The Boot Barn) and weave through the foothills.

“Just tired.” I give him a weak smile, then look back at the road. “It’s been a long day.” It’s the truth. I was up at 4:00 A.M. and that was Eastern time. It's now 4:00 P.M. Pacific. I just want to get to the house and sleep, but that's doubtful. I’ll still need to get everything set up. Get a changing station ready. Sheets on the Pack ‘n Play. (I asked him to pick one up.) Feed Eden dinner. Set up the monitor.

I’ve tried to have no expectations of his house. He’s told me almost nothingabout it except it’s in Spearhead.How many beds does it have?No clue. (Hopefully more than one, though).Is there a bathtub?I dunno. This could be a really short trial stay, in which case I’ll be back in New York by next week where I think it’ll be a lot easier to pretend to be married. (Well, soon-to-be married.)

“Okay,” Alex says after a little, but I notice the furrow in his brows. “Feel free to nap then. We have about 40 more minutes.”

“Okay.” I recline my seat and close my eyes, turning on my side, but I can’t sleep. Not possible when I keep getting whiffs of his cologne, and then he reaches over and gently pushes a lock of hair off my face. Then the back of his thumb strokes my cheek. (You know, just for good measure.)

I sort of want to open my eyes and beg him not to do that.Please don’t make me love you anymore, please!But I don’t. I keep pretending to sleep and for the rest of the drive he reaches over to touch me in some way every few minutes. There’s one of his bear paws settled gently on my hip. Then there’s a thumb that strokes my open hand. There’s fingers that trace my hairline softly. Until eventually, I do actually drift away where I dream of large hands spreading my legs wide and a warm tongue laving at my clit. I moan and wake myself up.Fuck.

My eyes stutter open and I see Alex adjusting his jeans to accommodate his growing cock. Fuckme.Now I’m thinking about his cock. It’s beautiful. Really. It has this curve — (no, you’re right.) This train of thought isn’t going to help me with boundaries.

“Almost home,” he says to me quietly because Eden is still racked.

I increase the incline of my seat so I’m sitting up just as we drive through the main strip of town. Every time I’ve been here before, it’s been as a visitor. Didn’t have much skin in the game as far as the town of Spearhead goes, or what it offers. But now that I might actually live here, I’m staring at the businesses, examining them intently with a new lens.

On the right, we have a small grocery store, Bob’s Grocery. (I swear to god that’s the name. You can’t make this shit up.) And I mean it’s really small.That’s not gonna work.Next, a gas station with a convenience/liquor store attached.Gonna need that.And there’s a diner…that’s not open.Okay.

On the other side of the road is a restaurant and bar (Colton’s). Still haven’t been, still want to. Brit has stories about that place. (Bonus, the owner is a hottie.) (Brit’s words, not mine.) Then the coffee shop that Brit’s in-laws (Liam’s parents) own. And honestly, their cappuccinos aren’t shit. So, really, for this zero-stoplight town, it’s impressive. And then there’s Maggios, the pizza place. Never eaten at the restaurant, but Liam picked it up on one of Carly’s days off and it was surprisingly good. It’s not New York style, but still good.

Each of the businesses is practically a carbon copy of the others. It looks like someone ordered six log-cabin kits from a Sears catalog, thus founding the town of Spearhead. (Not joking.)

This place doesn’t make me feel claustrophobic like Brit’s place on Robles did. (Or what’s the opposite of claustrophobia? Fear of wide open spaces. That’s what I have.) The evergreens tower and shade every spare inch of space. They crowd you in, sort of like the skyscrapers do. And so, if I just close my eyes and play a track of the city, I could pretend I’m home. Except instead of the smell of methane and sulfur, there’s a distinct earthy smell to this place. It doesn’t smell like a Christmas tree. It just smells damp, but also fresh. It’s astringent, but in a soothing way. Hard to describe, but…I don’thateit.

Alex looks over, a smile on his face. “Almost there.” If I didn’t know better, I’d think he actually looked…excited. It makes me excited. I bite down on my lip to hide a smile and wonder what this next chapter of my life will look like.

SEVENTEEN