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I let her wrap me in her arms even though I wasn’t used to such affection. Truthfully, being loved by someone was something I wasn’t used to. I found myself squeezing her tighter as I closed my eyes and let myself feel for the first time since my release from the island what it was like to have a person genuinely care for me.
When she stepped back, her eyes immediately went to my hand, but then flicked to my face. “You look like you’ve been spending time in the sun.”
“I have.”
“Good. Well, should we get going?”
This was it. There was no running back to my room and hiding. Once I walked out those doors, I was on my own.
I felt paper slide into my hand and recognized the feel of a business card. I turned back to Dr. Ellsworth with a frown. “Don’t forget to call me and set up an appointment.”
“I won’t.”
And I really wouldn’t. I could only imagine the things I would need to talk about after a week on my own. Maybe I could talk her into seeing me twice a week, or even three times.
Before I knew it, Eva was guiding me out to her car and I was strapped inside. It all passed in a blur of awkwardness. I didn’t know what to say to Eva, and she clearly didn’t know what to say to me. I was the deranged woman in her family that had to be handled with kid gloves. Not that I could blame her after what they walked in on that day.
“Dr. Ellsworth didn’t say what day you had to schedule an appointment for, but if you let me know, I’ll drive you.”
“Okay.”
“So, after what happened…that day, Vira and I figured that house might hold too many bad memories, so we moved you to a new house.”
I looked at her sharply, surprised by the announcement. “You switched houses because of what I did?”
“Well, we didn’t want it to cause any triggers.”
Triggers. Because they were afraid I would walk back in the room and slice myself up again, or pick up a ruler and slam it down on my hand repeatedly until I bled out on the floor.
“It would have been fine,” I mumbled, staring out the window.
“It’s not just for you. Vira wasn’t comfortable there anymore, either.”
“Because I bled all over her house?”
“Isabelle—”
“It’s fine,” I cut her off, wanting to drop the subject.
After a moment of silence, she tried again. “It really isn’t what you think. We just want the transition to be as easy as possible.” She sighed heavily. “I have a confession. I talked to Dr. Ellsworth and asked what would aid you best in your recovery.”
“You did what?” Anger surged in me that she would invade my privacy like that.
“I wanted to be sure that I could help in any way possible. You’re my sister-in-law. I have no other family besides you,” she said, her voice almost pleading. “I couldn’t stand it if I didn’t do everything I could to help you.”
I couldn’t fault her for that. Besides, I was very much in the position she was. I had a mother. She had an aunt. But after what happened…would it ever be the same? I wasn’t sure.
“What did she say?”
Her eyes darted to mine as if to check that I really wanted to hear. “She said that it was best to get rid of any reminders of Zavala. She said you needed a fresh start. And even though the house doesn’t technically have Zavala in it, I thought if you started over in a brand new house and made it yours…”
“You thought I wouldn’t freak out and try to stab myself or something.”
“Was that not okay? I’m sorry if I went too far,” she added, hurriedly.
A new house. To decorate and do my own thing with. “There’s no furniture?”
She shook her head, biting her lip. “Vira wasn’t sure if you’d want to live with her still. She said she could stay in the old house or move in with you. Whatever you want.”