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I shook my head, still trying to wrap my brain around everything he was telling me. I was sure there was a lot he wasn’t saying—that these were just the most important details.
“Izzy, I need you to trust me. No, I didn’t want to tell you any of this. I wanted to give you time and space to heal. I didn’t want you to have to worry about anything when you go out. I didn’t want you looking over your shoulder for a security detail. But I would rather have you know what’s going on than for you to ever think that I could be anything like him.”
My head jerked up at the fierceness in his voice. I had said that, hadn’t I? I had accused him of being like Zavala. Why? I knew he wasn’t. No, I hoped he wasn’t. There were too many conflicting emotions in my head right now for me to be certain of anything. I had spent too many years in the hands of a lunatic to put my faith in anyone.
But Zavala never would have given me any information like this. If he wanted to control me, he would have beaten me into submission. Yes, my instincts could still be off about Jason, but based on what he was telling me, I had to make a decision.
I could choose to put my trust in someone or I could spend the rest of my life always believing the worst in people.
“Izzy…”
“I believe you,” I whispered. I let my eyes slowly meet his, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake in all this. I wanted so desperately for this to be real, for my instincts to be right. Knight wouldn’t have left me with people he didn’t trust, right? “Thank you for telling me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t sooner. I just…”
“I know.” I was a basket case. No one wanted to put any pressure on me, and that included him.
“I promise you, I will not be gone more than a few days.”
“And what happens then?”
“You’ll get to go out again.”
“With guards.”
“With a security detail,” he corrected. “We don’t have guards. There’s no one here to do anything other than keep you safe. And if you want, I’ll go with you.”
“You would?”
“Yes.”
“But…why?” I asked, still not sure why this man would give up his time to follow me around. He had a daughter to think about and probably a ton of other things to do. I was…nobody.
“Because I made a promise I would look after you.”
I ignored the way my chest pinched at his words. What right did I have to feel hurt over someone spending time with me because of a promise made to someone else?
“Right,” I nodded. “To Knight.”
“Izzy—”
I stood and smiled tightly at him. I needed him to leave before I made a fool of myself. I didn’t like Jason in a sexual way or even desire that, but knowing someone was only around me because of a promise just made me feel terrible.
“Thank you for explaining everything to me. And…I’m sorry for saying you were like him. I…I didn’t really mean it. I just don’t know who to trust anymore, and sometimes my head takes over.”
I started moving for the door before he could say anything else. I just wanted him gone. I needed to be alone and remember why it was best for me to take some time to myself. I was a mess, and clearly unable to handle even the simplest conversation without jumping to conclusions.
“I’ll call you when I’m back. We’ll plan to go out.”
“Of course,” I smiled. “I’ll see you then.”
The hesitation in his steps only killed me slower. I couldn’t wait to shut the door and forget any of this ever happened. And then he turned back to me, opening his mouth to say something. I felt panic claw at my throat. If he stayed, I might lose it and blurt out something equally as horrifying as saying he was just like Zavala. God only knows what that would be.
Thankfully, he closed his mouth and bounded down the steps. The moment he was off the porch, I shut the door and locked it, leaning heavily against it.
Vira peeked out from the top of the stairs, quirking an eyebrow at me. “Girl, you need a drink.”
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