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“Izzy,” I snapped, squeezing my eyes shut at the name. “I don’t go by Isabelle anymore.”
When I opened my eyes, she was watching me carefully. “Okay. Izzy,” she smiled.
“So…this thing with Dad...” I didn’t know what more to say. I didn’t really want to know.
“When you were on the island?—”
I rolled my eyes instinctively. “You make it sound like I was on vacation.”
Hurt flashed across her face before she schooled her features. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know why I was lashing out at her. It didn’t make sense. I just didn’t want to go back in time, and this felt like a major step in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to discuss Zavala or anything to do with the past, and I had a feeling that was the road she was leading me down.
“After you were taken, your father tried everything to get you back. I…I was so upset with him. Nothing was working, and I always considered him as this unbreakable man. Yet, he couldn’t help you when you needed it. As the years passed, I began to think I would never see you again. We were both so desperate to see you, and that’s when things got really out of control.”
I found that difficult to believe. For years, I suffered horribly, unable to help myself in any way. But that was when things got out of control for her? I would laugh if it wasn’t so fucking tragic.
“Your father got sloppy. He thought that he could force Zavala’s hand. So, he took his sister.”
I sucked in a breath at the revelation, understanding for the first time what she meant byout of control. “Why…why would he do that?” I shoved to my feet as an unsettling feeling gnawed at my stomach. “Taking his sister and…”
“He slept with her,” my mom admitted.
I spun, tears stinging my eyes as I stared at her. “Dad cheated on you?”
“That wasn’t the worst of it.”
My brain ran a thousand miles a minute as I tried to think back over my time with Zavala. Was there a time when things were worse? It was hard to say. The whole time was a nightmare.
She took a deep breath and continued, her eyes glazing over as she told me her story. “They broke in during the night. I hardly had time to fight back…” Her voice drifted off as she recounted the horrifying attack she suffered. I wasn’t sure I breathed the entire time she spoke of the men beating her, then raping her.
My own demons were breathing down my neck, threatening to swallow me whole if I didn’t get them under control. I turned away from her, forcing my eyes closed as I fought off the panic of feeling like I was back there, like I was in those cages again. My heart hammered in my chest with every word she spoke. It was more horrifying than I ever imagined. What I had been through was horrible and…but I only ever had to deal with Zavala’s wrath…with his hands on my body. I never?—
I clasped a hand over my mouth and fought the bile threatening to rise in my throat. “Stop,” I whispered, unable to hear anymore.
“I’m sorry, sweetie.” I felt her only steps behind me, approaching like I was a frightened kitten, and at this moment, I was.
“I can’t do this,” I said, striding across the living room to the front door.
“Sweetie—”
“No,” I snapped, turning to face her. “Why would you do this? Why would you come here and lay your shit at my feet?”
I was out of control, barely hanging by a thread. I couldn’t listen to her horror stories and maintain the control I’d so carefully crafted.
“That’s not what I was doing.”
“Then what were you doing?” I snapped.
“Trying to make you see that I understand what you’re going through.”
I laughed at my mother. Maybe I was out of control. Maybe I was being irrational and insane, but the moment her words left her mouth, I couldn’t help myself.
“You understand? Were you held hostage for thirteen fucking years? Were you held in a cage until you acted in a way that was suitable for a maniac?”
She flinched at my words, but I kept going. There was no holding back now.
“Did you have to feel the life of your child slipping from your body as you were brutally attacked by the very man who put that child inside you?”