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“You know, it’s like you don’t want to like my story.”
His eyes slid to mine, barely a hint of life in them. “It’s a fucking umbrella. There’s not much to like about it.”
“Ouch, man. That hurts just a little. But not too much, considering it wasn’t my idea. Don’t worry. I won’t tell FNG.”
He sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I was doing everything I could to keep him entertained, but it was almost like he didn’t want me here, which I knew couldn’t be true since we were brothers now.
“How about I make you a smoothie to brighten your mood?”
As I stood, he growled at me. “Make me a smoothie and I’ll shove it up your ass.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “Man, even on your deathbed, you’re a riot!”
He gritted his teeth at me, which I knew meant he was losing his shit. It was time to cool him down. I stood and walked over to the TV, putting onOklahoma. It was impossible to be in a bad mood when you were watching that movie.
“You know, when you’re all better, I’ll take you to the theater. There’s nothing like seeing this on Broadway.”
“No thanks.”
I perked up at his answer. It wasn’t often he said thanks. “See, now I know you want to go. It’s all good. We’ll wait until you’re healed up and I’ll get you a new identity. Hey, you could take my name! You don’t really look like a Lozano, but we can make it work.”
“Do you want me to shoot you?”
I looked at him funny. “That’s a silly question. I always want you to shoot me.”
He shot me a blank look.
“Oh, come on. Who doesn’t want to be shot by their hero? The Kamau holding a gun on me is like…the best orgasm ever. I mean, aside from when I’m with Anna, and I really don’t want to think about you when I’m with Anna, if you know what I mean.”
“Fox, I always fucking know what you mean.”
“See? Now, that’s because we’re brothers. We can see inside each other’s thoughts.”
He closed his eyes with a heavy sigh.
“Right. Sleep.” I smacked myself on the forehead. “I’ll just put the movie on a low volume so the music can help you drift off to sleep. I mean, if you don’t get too excited by the tunes. I always have trouble sleeping when I’m watching my favorite musical.”
“Whatever.”
“You know, there’s one thing I can’t help but get stuck on,” I said thoughtfully. “You said something about Cash shooting you. Now, I know you were a little fuzzy after you woke up. So, what really happened there?”
He sighed again. I noted he did that a lot when he was frustrated. Hell, I’d be frustrated, too, if I was laid up in bed with no one to kill.
“He shot me. What’s confusing about that?”
“Um…the part about him shooting you,” I laughed. “Come on. It’s Cash. He would never shoot you willingly.”
His eyes slid open and he stared at me for a good minute before responding. “Believe what you want.”
The truth in his words rang loud and clear, but I couldn’t believe them. It just wasn’t possible. The man I had come to trust more than anyone in my life could not have shot my brother.Hisbrother.
“Knight, I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but you have to be mistaken. Cash would never?—”
“Stand in front of me and pull the trigger?”
The darkness started to creep into the corners of my eyes. I shoved out of my seat, pacing the room as I fought the demons in my head. “No. There’s no way what you’re saying is real. He couldn’t—” I pounded my fist against my skull as anger washed over me. “He couldn’t have! There is no fucking way Cash would have shot you. I know him! He’s a good man despite what’s going on. He didn’t shoot you.”
When he didn’t say anything, I turned to face him. This time, I didn’t fight the darkness. I let it swallow me whole. It was the only way to find peace.