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“I didn’t even realize what he had been doing to me. Over two months, he broke me, twisted me into this lovesick fool who would do anything for a psychopath.”
“He knew what he was doing, Isabelle. He was holding all the cards. You adapted to your environment to survive. There’s no shame in that.”
I swiped at the tear that slipped down my cheek. “Then why do I feel so disgusting?”
“Because a man took from you what you were not willing to give, and he did it for thirteen years. There was no one there to save you, so you did everything you could to keep going. You are so strong, Isabelle. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but so many people would have broken already.”
“He was coming back for me,” I whispered, brushing away more tears. “A year after I left that island, he still came for me. And I’m afraid that he’ll come again.”
“Then you’ll keep fighting. Do you remember you told me that you kept hearing these voices before he reappeared, and you didn’t know what they were?”
“They were him. I remember him saying those things.”
She nodded. “I think your brain was trying to fight back, to remind you of who Zavala really was. Deep down, you knew you were at a breaking point and you needed the reminder that he was an evil man.”
I stared down at my shaking hands, saying the thing that terrified me most. “I don’t know that I’m ready to go back out there on my own.”
“I wouldn’t let you if I didn’t think you could handle it.”
“You can’t stop me,” I pointed out.
“But I would tell you,” she reassured me. “Isabelle, you broke through a really tough barrier when you chose to come here. I know you think you’re weak, but you are a survivor. I have no doubt that when you get home, you’ll figure out how to live for yourself and put him behind you.”
“How do you know?”
That knowing smile curved her lips. “I knew it the day you stopped calling him Ebarardo.”
I sucked in a breath, not even realizing I had done that. At some point, he had just become that evil man to me. I huffed out a laugh at the realization.
“Remember, strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”
* * *
“You’re ready for this, Isabelle.” The nurse smiled at me kindly as I waited for Eva to pull the car forward. It had been a week since my talk with Dr. Ellsworth. She’d wanted to release me two days later, but I begged her for a few more days. I needed a few more sessions to be sure I wasn’t going to lose my mind the second I walked out of here.
They could lock me in a room here. I would be safe and protected. But out there…Out there, I was at the mercy of a demon who stole my life away. It would be a constant battle that I wasn’t entirely sure I was prepared to fight.
“Strength comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t,” I murmured to myself. I tapped my fingers against my thigh, counting to ten and then starting over again as I took another deep breath.
Dr. Ellsworth walked over to me, smiling brightly. “Do you have everything?”
“Does that include you?”
“Sorry, I can’t go home with you.”
I chuckled, taking another deep breath.
“You’ll do fine. Just keep reminding yourself that everything you do from this point forward is about you and only you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard as I watched Eva get out of the car. “It’s about me.”
“Exactly.”
When I didn’t say anything else, she turned me gently to face her. “Isabelle, you have lived for too long by someone else’s rules. For the next year, I want you to only think about yourself. Okay?”
I nodded again. I could do that. I could be selfish. I would be selfish.
“Hey!” Eva smiled at me, rushing inside to hug me. “You look fantastic!”