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Then again, since Carli came into my life, I hardly recognized the man I used to be. My priorities shifted drastically the moment I realized I was a father. Maybe the man I used to be was no longer who I needed to be. I slid my hand across to hers, holding her tight.
“She’s so beautiful,” Izzy whispered. “So full of life, and she’s so smart. And sometimes…”
“It reminds you of Claire.”
She nodded, rubbing her hand gently down Carli’s back. “I want this more than anything.” Her eyes locked on mine with determination shining bright. “This is just so new to me, and I would be lying if I said that I’m fine. I’m not, and I don’t know if I ever will be, but I’m working on it.”
“I know.” I saw it every fucking day, the struggle and the pain. It was all there no matter how hard she tried to hide it or run from it. But when she smiled—Fuck, it was so damn beautiful.
“Honestly, I didn’t want to get attached to Carli. She’s so sweet, but?—”
“But what if you lost her?” I asked when she choked up. “That will never happen.”
“Not everyone stays together,” she whispered. “What if it didn’t work out? What if…what if after everything, we don’t fit together?”
I didn’t know what to say to her. It could happen. It didn’t matter what I felt right now. Couples broke up all the time. People got divorced. I couldn’t lie to her and tell her everything would be fine.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But this isn’t a half in, half out kind of deal. Either you love us and want to be with us, or you walk away. Because otherwise, what are we doing?”
She took a staggering breath and nodded. “I know. I just need time.”
“I can give you time.”
Hell, I’d give her anything she needed. After what she’d been through—after what happened just months ago—she was healing and getting better, but there would be hard days. There might always be a struggle to fit back into society. She’d been held prisoner for so long, I was actually surprised at how well adjusted she’d become. So, if she needed time to accept what was happening and become comfortable, I would give it to her.
Because I knew she was worth it, even if she couldn’t feel it yet.
* * *
I woke in the afternoon to my phone ringing. Izzy and Carli were asleep beside me, so I quickly answered the phone to keep from waking them. “Yeah?”
“It’s Lock. We need to talk.”
I glanced back at my daughter. “Now’s not a good time.”
Izzy stretched, blinking softly at me. “I can watch her,” she murmured.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, sliding her hand onto Carli’s back. “Go ahead. We’ll be fine.”
I bent over and pressed a kiss to her soft lips, wishing I could stay. “I’ll be there in ten,” I answered, hanging up. Cupping Izzy’s cheek, I brushed my nose against hers. Fuck, I was becoming such a pussy. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m just sleeping in your bed. I haven’t done much of anything.”
I knew what she was saying, but she had no fucking idea what it was like to know I could count on her. “It’s everything.”
With another kiss, I was up and getting dressed, careful not to wake Carli. By the time I was walking out the door, Izzy was already asleep. Ten minutes later, I walked through the door of the conference room where Lock, Rae, Johnny, Jason, and Asher were sitting.
“How’s Carli?” Johnny asked.
“Done puking, I think. Izzy’s with her.”
“Figured,” he grinned.
I took my seat and nodded to Lock, who turned to Rae.
“We received these images in the last few hours, each of them coming about fifteen minutes apart,” Lock said.