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Before I could think about it further, the door swung open and Eva smiled at me. “I figured you’d be coming by. Jason told me to expect you.”
“Of course he did,” I grinned.
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”
“Something really exciting. I hope you’re ready for this.”
“Exciting? Yes, I’m definitely ready for that. I’ve been cooped up with kids all day, every day. There is nothing more I want than excitement in my life.”
“What about the kids?”
“Already at the training center. Rae is putting them through a defense course.”
My ears perked up at that. “A defense course? Can anyone do it?”
She cocked her head at me as we headed to her vehicle. “Yeah. Are you interested?”
“Honestly, it’s the first time I’ve thought about it.”
As we got in the car, she shot a look at me. “You seemed stressed when I opened the door.”
I nodded, feeling the return of anxiety under my skin. “I ran into Kavanaugh. He’s going on a job.”
“Okay,” she answered slowly. “They do that all the time.”
“Right, but…well, it made me think about Jason.”
“When he goes on a job,” she confirmed.
“How do you deal with that? I mean, even now with Cash—” I stopped myself, knowing I was getting into dangerous territory.
She sighed as she pulled out onto the main road. “Yeah. Cash.”
“How are you even dealing with that?”
I watched as she stiffened and felt absolutely horrible. Not for bringing it up, but because I had been so focused on myself that I hadn’t realized how much she was hurting. God, I was such a shit sister-in-law.
“Honestly? Some days are absolutely horrible. I don’t want to get out of bed and do a thing.” Her throat worked hard as she fought back tears, but a few seconds later, she’d pulled herself together and smiled at me. “It sucks. Big time. He left me. He left the kids. And I know there’s nothing I can do to bring him back. He has to want that.”
“What if he doesn’t?” I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.
“I try not to think about that too much. Lock is running the business and—I know he’ll do everything to keep it going until Cash comes home. I have to believe that he will because any other option would tear my soul to shreds.”
“It already is,” I pointed out.
“It is, but I still have hope.” A tear dripped down her cheek and she quickly swiped it away. “The kids, though…they’re the ones hurting. They don’t understand why he disappeared, and I can’t explain it to them. There’s no way they would ever understand. So, I just keep putting a smile on my face and pretending everything will be fine.”
“But for how long?”
She cut me a harsh look. “Speaking from experience?”
“Yes,” I said frankly. “You saw what happened to me, and I’m not saying your situation is anything like mine. But I would hate for you to go through anything that would tear you apart inside.”
She glanced over at me, smiling a sad smile. “Too late. My heart is already in shreds. There is no moving on with life until he’s home with me. There’s no walking away or giving up hope. Whatever is going on, he’s fighting with everything in him. Whether that’s for his sanity or our family, I don’t know, but I won’t give up on him. He’s all there is for me, and I have to believe that one day, he’ll return to me, and I’ll have my family back.”
My hand slipped out and wrapped around hers, gripping it tight. Surprise etched her face for a second before she squeezed back. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’m here. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you,” she sighed. “Now, enough sobbing over things we can’t change. What are we doing today?”