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“No,” I snapped. “In my fucking room. I’m not letting her out of my sight.”
“Jason…be logical. You can’t let this little girl sleep in your room. She doesn’t know you. You both need your space. If she wants to go to you, that’s one thing, but you…this isn’t about you.”
He was right, and I fucking hated when he was right.
“You’re on OPS property. There’s no fucking way anyone would reach her.”
I nodded, though he couldn’t see me.
“We’ll see you when you get home.”
“Yeah.”
I hung up and looked in the rearview mirror again. She was safe. Now I just had to figure out how to keep her that way and become the father she deserved.
2
ISABELLE
I stared into the mirror, looking back at the woman who seemed so void of life. She used to be in there, but that was then and this was now. I let a smile take over my face, practicing for a good five minutes until I was satisfied I could make it look realistic. The smile was perfect, but the lifeless look in my eyes wouldn’t fool anyone. Of course, they might contribute that to my time on the island.
They had no idea it was because I was still mourning my husband.
Putting on a front for everyone around me was nothing new. I learned to do it well on the island. Ebarardo had a stressful job and when things didn’t go his way, it filtered into our lives. It was easier on him when I behaved a certain way. And since I knew what he expected of me, it was easier to be what he wanted than fight him and make his day miserable.
That’s all this was, bending for everyone around me so they didn’t think I was losing it. Everyone assumed I was moving on from Ebarado. Knight, especially, was proud of me when I asked him if I could move by Eva. He took that as some kind of signal that I was ready to move on.
I gripped the ring that rested on a chain around my neck and took a deep breath as a wave of grief washed over me.
I would never be ready to move on. Ebarardo gave me something that no other man has ever offered. Luxury, security, undying love…those were things women only dreamed about, and I had them in the palm of my hand for thirteen wonderful years. My life would never be the same, but I couldn’t go around with everyone shooting me those worried looks either. I had to move on in a way that I thought Ebarardo would be proud of.
That’s what I was doing every day. I got out of bed. I recited the rules Ebarardo drilled into me. I behaved in the way he wanted when no one was looking. And I tried my damndest to appear normal. One day, they would all stop worrying.
I took a cleansing breath and tucked the ring under my blouse. I dragged a practiced eye over my clothing, making sure I was dressed in a way Ebarardo would approve of.
Fuzzies. There were fuzzies on my pants.
My heart hammered in my chest and nausea rose in my throat. I raced out of the bathroom and grabbed the roller off my dresser, then swiped it over my pants until not a single fuzzy remained. I should have felt relieved, but instead, worry coated my stomach like oil. What if I missed a spot?
I quickly undid my black pants and took them off, laying them out on the bed. Even though I didn’t see a single fuzzy, I ran the roller over the material several times until I was positive there was nothing left behind. I flipped them over and repeated the process, then redressed and finally breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s okay. There’s nothing on you. You look wonderful,” I murmured, taking in another cleansing breath.
When I opened my eyes, I noticed a corner of my sheet flipped slightly at the end. I walked over and smoothed the material, then walked around the bed to check for other errors. When I was satisfied, I took a long look around the room for anything else that might be out of place. Satisfied, I headed for the door.
As soon as I reached for the doorknob, my hand began to shake as it did every morning. I was leaving my room with no guards on the other side, stepping out into a house with no protection. Yes, there were sensors and security set up all around the property, but there was no one watching for me in here.
That was the hardest thing about leaving Reed Security. I had a false sense of safety in that bunker. I knew no one could get inside without the proper codes, handprints, etc. I was safe. Here…I was on my own. Ebarardo had been gone for…
I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about how long it had been since he’d been killed.Killed. That was the wrong way to put it. Brutally murdered. And now that murderer was here on the property. They all praised him. He was the man who killed my husband and “freed” me. To me, he was the man who sentenced me to a life of purgatory.
I shook off the nerves coursing through me and twisted the knob. Ebarardo would want me to be strong, to face down the villains in my life with my head held high. He would expect nothing less of the queen he married. That’s who I was to him. His queen, and I would not let him down even after his death.
I strode out of the room with my head held high. Though my heart hammered in my chest, I was calm and relaxed on the outside, just as Ebarardo had trained me to be. My hand slid along the cool wood of the banister as I descended the stairs. Laughter filtered through the house as I hit the bottom step and wove my way to the kitchen where I knew Vira would be waiting—just as she was every morning.
It was no surprise that a man was in there with her. Vira always found someone to entertain her, though it was usually at night when I was in bed already. Rarely did I see her male companions, though I was aware they existed.
“Hey, you want some coffee?” she asked as I entered the kitchen.