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I wasn’t expecting her to give in so easily, but I saw the fear in her eyes, the resignation that Izzy might not be ready anytime soon for Claire’s company.
“I’ll talk to her,” I conceded. “When she’s ready, she’ll come to you.”
Her hand lashed out, gripping onto my forearm. For a second, I saw a flash of Izzy in her and the barriers around my heart crumbled just a little. The years of worry and fear were evident.
27
IZZY
“You guys have been going out a lot lately.”
I glanced over at Eva and smiled. “It’s been nice.”
“Nice?”
We walked along the grounds of OPS. Without the guys knowing who was trying to take everyone out or how to stop them, we had to be careful with how often we went out. Jason still got me out once a week, along with my therapist appointments. I told him I would be fine, but he insisted, saying he didn’t want me to fall back into old habits.
“What do you want me to say?” I blushed furiously as she grinned at me, bumping her shoulder with mine.
“I want you to tell me what’s going on between the two of you.”
I knew she wouldn’t let up. She was excited for me, and honestly, I didn’t want to hold back. I was growing more comfortable with Jason and Carli by the day. I definitely wasn’t ready to be a more important figure in Carli’s life. That was a step I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for. Not after what happened…
“We’re seeing how things go.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “And what does that mean?”
“It means…it means that…that…”
“That you like him?” she hedged. “That you want there to be more between you?”
God, I was so bad at this. “Yes, I do,” I admitted, “but I’m not sure I’ll ever be what he needs.”
“What about what you need?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes. I was so tired of everything being about me. “He’s sweet. Maybe too sweet.”
“How is that even possible?”
“I’m afraid that— God, you’re going to think this is stupid,” I muttered.
She stopped me with a hand on my arm, making me turn to face her. “If you want him, tell him.”
“I want to. So badly, but what if I’m not enough for him? What if I can’t ever give him what he wants? Or what if I can’t be in Carli’s life the way he wants? She means everything to him and I’m the woman who fell into his lap for him to watch over. I’m a mess and he’s this perfect?—”
“Alright, you’re gonna have to stop right there. I can’t listen to this anymore.”
My jaw dropped in shock. “What?”
“This,” she motioned to all of me.
I glanced down, wondering what exactly she was referring to. “Um…”
“You’re acting like this can only end one way.”
“Two ways. With or without him.”
She nodded. “Right, but you haven’t even given it a chance and you’re already backing away. You’re scared, so you’re making up excuses why it’ll never work.”