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I didn’t want to admit how much he had helped me back then. Getting me out of my comfort zone had been a huge feat.
“Did everything go okay on your job?”
He glanced in the rearview mirror at his daughter, his face turning stony. I had the feeling I had overstepped somehow. “It was fine.”
I was quiet the rest of the way into town. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to open my mouth again and ruin the night with stupid questions. However, Carli sat in the back and filled the silence by talking about her favorite flavors of ice cream, ranging from the absolute best to the yuckiest, as she put it.
When we pulled up to the curb, I was about to get out when I remembered Jason’s words before we left about someone trying to kill anyone relating to OPS, and I froze. It hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal before, but that was when we were on the property. Now, we were in town—away from the gates and the security. I rubbed my sweaty hands on my pants, trying to force myself to calm down, but everywhere I looked, it was like someone was watching me.
Then the door was jerked open and Jason was standing there with Carli in his arms. He held out his hand, nodding slightly to me. “It’s okay.”
It’s okay. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Besides, his daughter is with him. He wouldn’t bring her out if he thought there was someone around.
Slowly, I put my hand in his and slid out of the truck. My eyes immediately locked on his, knowing that as long as I could see them, I would be okay. I didn’t know why, but they steadied me.
The door shut and I took a long breath, steeling myself. I could do this. It was just ice cream. There was no one out there. Jason would keep me safe.
“Ready?” he asked quietly.
I nodded and walked with him down the sidewalk to the little ice cream shop. There were two windows outside for ordering and pickup, with a large board between them listing the menu. The sheer amount of options was overwhelming. Half of them, I didn’t even recognize. I vaguely remembered trying a blizzard once, but I mostly stuck with cones.
“Which one are you gonna get?” Carli asked.
“I—” I stared at the board, trying to decide, but there were just too many items listed. My heart started racing at the endless possibilities. Everything was available in multiple flavors, sizes, and types of cones. Not to mention cups versus bowls.
I stepped back, feeling like the world was closing in on me. I rubbed my hands on my jeans over and over again, but nothing would stop the itch that was building. Then I felt a hand on my lower back, steadying me when I felt like I would fall over.
“Three chocolate cones,” Jason said, taking over, ordering for all of us.
I zoned out as he finished the order. I didn’t hear what size they were or how much they cost. I concentrated on slowing my breathing so I didn’t freak out his daughter. I glanced up for just a moment, and immediately ducked my head. She was staring at me, her eyes pulled down in concern.
“Daddy, what’s wrong with Izzy?”
“Nothing, baby.”
“She looks sad.”
I still couldn’t look up. God, even a four-year-old could tell there was something wrong with me.
“Does she? Hmm. Maybe she needs a hug. What do you think?”
“I think she does,” she whispered.
“Okay, but you have to ask her first. We never just hug people without asking first.”
“I hug you all the time.”
“That’s different. I’m your daddy. Some people might not be comfortable with hugs.”
God, I wanted to flee. He was having a conversation with his daughter about me as if I wasn’t even there. It was so mortifying. And all over a stupid menu. I couldn’t decide what I wanted, so I freaked out. Who did that?
That’s right. I did that. Mentally unstable lunatics like myself who were fucked up because they were held captive for thirteen years, that’s who. God, I was so pathetic.
Carli tugged on my sleeve, drawing my attention from my self-deprecating thoughts. “Do you want a hug? You look sad and I’m really good at hugging.”
I forced a smile and shook my head. “No, that’s okay.”
She pursed her lips, looking quite put off that I said no. “Sometimes I get sad when I think about my momma. Is that why you’re sad?”