Page 154

I knew if anything happened to Eva, all of this would be for nothing. It was the whole reason I left, knowing that pushing her away would keep her safe. But would she ever forgive me for the horrible things I’d done?
Or what I was about to do?
I was no longer the man she married. Where I thought war had done the most damage life could throw at me, it turned out hell could be found in your own back yard.
I still felt the heavy burden of guilt every time I closed my eyes. I no longer felt at peace when I had Sally in my hands, and without Betty in my pocket, I knew it was only a matter of time before death came to claim me.
But I wouldn’t give up—not until I knew my family was safe and the twisted men who funded The Syndicate were dead.
“Are you sure about this?” Knight asked, his eyes flicking to where Michael stood.
“It has to be done.”
“And what about Eva?”
My gaze snapped to his and my lip curled in disgust. “What about her?”
“You’re taking a one-way trip you might not be able to come back from.”
I glanced away, refusing to think about anything but what needed to be done. “If we’re going to end this, it’s the only way.”
He grunted in disagreement but didn’t argue further. If there was one thing I could count on, it was that Knight would follow through to the end. “And what about him?”
Michael had just returned from another one of his disappearing acts. Despite wanting to get to the bottom of this clusterfuck, he was still Shadow. He still had things to take care of to keep shit running. Exactly what he did, I still didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“It’s time to push ahead. He can either join us or get left behind. There’s no other fucking option at this point. No one at Reed Security or OPS is safe unless I go through with this.”
“It may not turn out the way you want.”
“Since when has that ever been a problem?” I snapped. “I don’t recall you playing by the rules just because things might get dicey.”
“The difference is, I understand what I’m risking,” Knight argued. “I’ve always known that I might not make it out alive. Can you say the same?”
My nostrils flared as anger swept through me again. “There’s one thing that being a sniper taught me. Life is never assured. Just when you think you’re in the clear, some fucker puts you in his crosshairs. And as that bullet strikes you in the center of the forehead and your life is bled from your body, you don’t even fucking know what happened. It’s over just like that. So, yeah, I fucking understand what I’m risking.”
He held out a phone to me, raising an eyebrow. “Call her. You have one fucking chance before this all goes to shit.”
I shook my head.
“Cash, if this goes south—and you fucking know that’s likely—this is your last chance to tell her what you should have told her from the start.”
“You want me to risk calling her?”
“I want you to do what you know you need to do. This is your chance.”
Slowly, I raised my hand and took the phone from him. The idea of hearing her sweet voice again sent chills down my spine. I’d been pushing her away for so long that I didn’t even know if I had anything to say that she’d want to hear.
But as tempting as it was to dial her number, I knew it was a risk I couldn’t take. Once this was done, they’d be safe. I might never see them again, but at least they wouldn’t have to worry any longer. Not about safety, anyway.
I stared at the phone in my hand, shaking my head slightly. “Contacting her is a fucking bad idea.”
“Probably.”
“Definitely,” I muttered. I handed the phone back to him, refusing to take the bait. “If I call her and they find out, it’ll all be for nothing.”
Smirking, he snatched the phone from me. “Well, at least I know where your head is.”
My eyes narrowed at his words. “It was a test?”