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“Jason—”
“No, Izzy,” he snapped, his eyes hard as he stared at me. “I gave you time. I fucking waited for you to call me and tell me what the fuck was going on. But I’m not waiting any longer.”
“Maybe I don’t want to tell you,” I argued as fury raised inside me.
“Too fucking bad. Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing? You think that if you push me away enough, I’ll leave. Well, get it through your head. It’s gonna take more shit than whatever has you so fucking depressed for me to walk away.”
His words stabbed me in the chest, spilling my pain all over the shower floor. I ducked my head, hating for him to see me this low. I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed, and I was already vulnerable enough since I was naked.
He tipped my chin back, forcing me to look at him. He loved to do this, to make me look at him when all I wanted to do was hide.
“Did I push too hard?” The uncertainty in his eyes left me confused.
“Push too hard about what?”
“At the waterpark…the things I said to you.”
Tonight.
His words filtered through the fog in my brain and I realized that this whole time, he thought this was his fault. Sighing, I tipped forward until my forehead was pressed to his chest. I had been so lost with my memories that I hadn’t realized how I left things, and how that would affect Jason and Carli.
“It wasn’t you,” I murmured. “Not entirely.”
Gently, he wrapped his arms around me. The water cascaded over my naked body, warming me as I stood there. “I was so fucking scared, Izzy. When I saw you freak out and run away…I thought I pushed too hard.”
I rolled my head against his chest, telling him it wasn’t him. “I saw you playing with Carli and…” The words clogged in my throat. I didn’t know how to tell him everything that haunted me. I wasn’t sure I could.
“Izzy…” he choked out.
I slid my hand around his waist, pulling his wet body closer to mine. I was all too aware of the fact that I was completely naked while he was fully dressed. That gave me the courage to be bold for once in my life. The way I’d been feeling the past few days made me weak and twisted my soul, but right now, I just wanted to feel alive.
I stepped back, sliding my hand from his waist, down the front of his jeans. His sharp intake of breath had me looking up to gauge his reaction, testing the waters to make sure I wasn’t getting this wrong. Zavala tried to enter my thoughts, but I pushed him from my mind, focusing solely on Jason.
I was tired of rehashing the same things in my mind over and over again. I’d just spent days in my bed, refusing to move, and yet, Jason came to save me. He cared when I couldn’t bring myself to.
Maybe it was time to stop thinking.
30
JASON
The indecision warring on her face lasted mere seconds. I told myself not to take things further, to step back and give Izzy what she needed, which was someone to talk to. But her fingers roamed down the front of my jeans, cupping my growing erection.
I tried to step back, to get away from her wandering hands, but she slid her fingers through the loops in my jeans, tugging me back to her.
“Jason,” she breathed, looking up at me with those lust-filled eyes. “Make me remember what it’s like.”
Fuck, how could I say no to that? I crushed my lips to hers, pressing her against the shower wall. Her sweet moans filled the shower as I held her, kissed her, and reminded her what it was like to have a man truly desire a woman. If she was anyone else, I’d already have her pants off and my cock thrusting inside her.
But she wasn’t anyone else, and even though she wanted this, I couldn’t take it as far as she needed. Not like this. Not when she was still messed up over what happened.
I broke the kiss and took a step back, fighting against the shock of disappointment on her face. “Izzy, not like this,” I breathed, willing my cock to go down. My fingers skimmed over her slender waist, up over the peak of her nipple. She was so fucking sexy, and there was nothing more I wanted than to bury myself inside her and hear her call my name.
“When I sink my cock inside you, it won’t be because you want to lose yourself, and it won’t be in a shower.” My fingers skimmed up the slender column of her neck, sinking into the hair at the base of her neck. “I want you, Izzy, but not like this. I want you begging me to take you because you want me—you fucking need me. And I can promise you, our first time will not be in a shower. I’m gonna take you in my bed, and you won’t leave until I’ve worn you out and made you scream my name all night long.”
Her eyes fluttered shut as I brushed my thumb over her nipple. I wouldn’t take her, but I’d make her feel good. There was nothing I wanted more than to see her come apart in my arms. The last time, she’d come from just the touch of my hands skimming over her body.
Pressing a kiss to her lips, I let my fingers slide down her stomach, feathering over her mound, down to the apex of her thighs. Her legs spread for me, seeking the pressure from my thick fingers. Bracing my arm above her head, I pressed my raging cock against her hip as I slowly slipped one finger inside her. The breathy gasp that left her lips had me grinding my body against hers, but I didn’t lose control.