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M y clothes smelled just like Lucky. The cologne was soft but left a lingering effect.

My pussy was still wet from him playing with it.

I had never in my life done nothing so extreme.

Khi was low key and didn’t really show affection in public places.

The most he would do was hold my hand in public.

Lucky really turned me, but I couldn’t tell him that and those soft kisses on the neck made me so weak.

If he would’ve asked me to go home with him tonight, I’m sure I would’ve said yes.

I was already hot and ready like a damn Little Caesar’s pizza.

I slipped out of my dress and jumped in the shower.

It was my anniversary with Khi tomorrow and I wanted to go and put some fresh flowers on his gravesite.

It was going to feel weird going there and I had just been with another man.

My sister told me if the shoe was on the other foot, Khi would’ve moved on by now.

He loved me with everything in him. He did stupid shit when he was mad at me, but I knew he wouldn’t just move on his with his life.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, Lucky called.

“You didn’t text me.”

“I jumped in the shower, my bad.”

“I thought ‘bout it when I made it home. I never asked you why you started cutting hair? I really like that shit. Now I’on know if I like the fact you ‘round niggas all day but to see a fine ass muthafuckin’ woman cutting hair is a turn on.”

“I don’t know. I used to cut my daddy’s hair and when he would go hang on the block with his boys, they would always ask him who got his tape line so sharp.

Before I knew it, I would have a house full of grown ass men getting their haircut.

My mama used to be mad as fuck with me and my daddy.

She stopped talking shit when I would give her a lil’ cut off the money.

My daddy sent me to barber school and here I am.

I been doing it so long, I’m sure I can cut in my sleep. ”

“So, is that the only barbershop you own?”

“Yea, I can’t see myself running another one. One is enough.”

“Think bigger baby. I wanna invest. You can have one in every hood. You ain’t gotta work all’um. Hire the best barbers in the city and make them the manager.”

“I have one now at my shop if I can keep him levelheaded.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I have a lil’ brother that’s hot-headed like a muthafucka.”

“Yeah, but this dude can cut the hell outta some hair. I brought under my wing, and I’ve showed him everything I know. I can trust him, but he’ll set some shit off quick.”

“That’s wassup. Think ‘bout what I said. When it comes to business always think bigger. You got some good shit going and when you have kids, they’ll have generational wealth. That’s a conversation for our next date. I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I laid there looking at the ceiling thinking about what he said.

The fact that he called me and asked me about my business spoke a lot about him.

Khi wasn’t into the whole barbershop shit but he let me have it because it was my passion.

He bought the shop and made sure I had everything I needed but he never stepped foot in there, not even to get a haircut.

That was what most of our arguments stemmed from.

Lucky had me thinking though. I would love to spread out but I just never wanted to step on any toes when I expanded.

Atlanta could be ruthless and if you took over a neighborhood with your business, they’ll destroy your shit.

I didn’t want to have to go through that when I was content right where I was.

Maybe one more barbershop wouldn’t hurt if I picked the right location.

It was something I was going to have to think about.

I set my alarm for the next morning and went to sleep.

Khi’s aunt owned a fresh flower shop a few blocks away from the graveyard.

I would always stop by to get Khi and Kj’s flowers from her.

She would have them ready for me before I got there so we wouldn’t be making small talk.

I would still get choked up about certain things she would say.

His family knew they were my world and would still check up on me from time to time.

“Good morning, beautiful,” his aunt greeted when I walked in.

“Good morning, auntie. I see you got me ready.”

“You know I do. I figured Kj would want these manly looking flowers since he would constantly tell us he wasn’t a little boy anymore,” she laughed.

“I know. And I would tell him, he would always be my baby. He hated when we treated him like a baby.”

“That’s why Khi would get him and say he been around women too long, it’s time for me to take my boy with me.”

I fought back the tears as we talked. Khi was big on making him a man but I thought it was too much too fast. Who was I to tell him he couldn’t take his son? A son needed his father and Khi was there.

“I’mma let you get out of here before it gets too hot out there. Don’t be a stranger, Blessyn. You still family to us.”

“I know and thank you for the flowers.”

“You know it’s nothing,” she waved me off.

The closer I got to the cemetery, the more I wanted to turn my car around and go back home.

It never got easier but it made me feel better after I left from talking to them.

I stopped and parked and just sat there thinking about that day.

My son lived two days after the shooting but his body couldn’t take the healing process after the surgery.

It was too much for him. I wanted to tell the doctors to hold on to him as much as they could but he was already gone, the machine was keeping him alive.

He had no brain activity and his organs were shutting down.

I had just lost Khi prior and then them telling me my son wasn’t going to make it, made me lose the second child I was carrying.

I didn’t have time to tell Khi I was pregnant again.

Deep down, I don’t want to ever carry another child. The shit was too painful for me.

I got out and grabbed the flowers. As I got closer to their headstones, I noticed that Kj’s shit was cleaned off. He didn’t have any weeds and he had some fresh flowers. The shit spooked me out so that I dropped their flowers to pull my phone out to call Merci.

“You’ve reached Merci. Leave me a message and I may call you back.”

“Merci, did you come to Kj’s gravesite? He has fresh flowers and someone cleaned around his headstone. Call me back please.”

I looked over at Khi grave and noticed it was still full of grass and weed.

The shit creeped me out and there was no way I could stay out here like I usually would.

I laid the flower on down and got back in my car.

The thought of someone coming to see my son but leave my baby daddy stuff untouched made my stomach queasy.

I started my car and got the hell out of dodge.

Following my first mind, I headed to my sister spot instead of going home just in case someone was following.

I liked the fact no one knew where I lived. It gave me a little sense of safety.

I was out of breath by the time I made up to my sister condo that was on the 28 th floor.

The walk from the garage to the front was a long walk before I could even make it to the elevators.

Merci’s ass wanted to be so important that she moved in this high ass condominium that was charging her the price of a five-bedroom house.

It was her money though so I didn’t say much.

I spoke my peace and left it alone. We both had a key to each other’s place, but I never just barged in on her because I knew the lifestyle she lived. Instead, I hit her doorbell.

Merci wasn’t coming to the door so I used my key to enter.

As usual her spot was a mess. It wasn’t disgusting it was just clothes everywhere.

Shopping bags sat on the floor like she just threw them down because she was tired of caring them.

Merci was so careless that she had money laying out on the table along with some of her jewelry.

At least it didn’t stink. It smelled like weed as I made my way to her bedroom.

Once I did, I wished I would’ve stayed my ass in the living room.

Merci and a nigga were laid up naked in her bed sleep.

I backed out and went to clean the living room until they woke up.

Being that it was close to noon, that meant they were up all night getting high and fucking.

Around one, Merci walked into the living room naked. She didn’t even notice me as I sat on the sofa on my phone. That why I always talked to her about watching her surroundings. She was completely clueless until I cleared my throat.

“Bitch what you doing here?” She jumped, clenching her chest.

“I called, you didn’t answer. I knocked and hit the bell but you didn’t answer, so I used my key. Who is that nigga in there?”

“Girl, it’s nobody. Just one of my friends.”

“But he looks like that rapper that I be seeing-.” I couldn’t finish because he was walking in the living room with his phone on speaker. The voice of the woman on the other end of the phone sound pissed. I eyed Merci and she shrugged. “You wait until he leaves, I’m getting dead on your ass.”

He kissed Merci and grabbed his keys to leave.

Merci walked him to the door where he kissed her again.

Merci was lighter than me so I could see her skin turn red from her blushing.

I don’t know where she got off thinking it was okay to share a man.

Someone always got hurt behind shit like this.

I would go crazy if it was her. When she closed the door, I was right in her face.

“So that is the married rapper from Instagram I be seeing with all the women and shit. Why the fuck you wasting your time with him?”

“He pays the bills ‘round here. I’ll be a fool to let him go and he really feeling me. He married her because she was down when he didn’t have shit. It has nothing to do with love.”

“Don’t be stupid. That man will never leave his wife and he’ll tell you what you wanna hear to get some pussy. How old is that nigga anyway? He looks older than me.”

“Please leave if you came to judge me.”

“Merci, you know I love you and I’m the last to judge. I just want to make sure that you protect yourself. You’re too young for kids and you damn sure ain’t ready to settle down with none of these niggas.”

“I’m not settling and I’m not as dumb as you think I am.”

“Okay. I trust your word.”

“What made you stop by?”

“I went to the gravesites this morning and someone had cleaned off Kj’s grave and laid new flowers out.”

“Who the fuck would’ve done that?”

“I have no idea but it shook me to my core. That was the first time it ever happened.”

“Somebody fucking with your mental. Shake that shit off. I told you after they died that you needed to get a gun.”

“No! No guns.”

The thought of having a gun on me and killing someone, made me sick. I couldn’t carry the same shit that took my family away.

“You need to do something because it could be a sign that the killer is after you now.”

Merci had me thinking at this point. If it was the killer fucking with me, that could only mean they knew I was going to be going to the gravesite today.

The only ones that knew was his family. I didn’t even tell Merci that I was going.

At this point, I couldn’t trust anyone not even the ones close to me.

“I gotta get out of here. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Do you need to stay here or do I need to go with you? You can always go home to mama them.”

“I’m fine. I’ll call you.”