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I sat in the car hiding my son and niece's face from the horrific scene of Lucky and Perc carrying this bitch body out of the house. Never did I think today was going to turn out like this. It was like a fucking nightmare as I watched Lucky throw her in the back of Perc’s trunk while Perc went back into the house.

Before we rode off with the house up in flames.

Lucky didn’t say shit to me. I had no idea where we were going or what we were about to do. Hell, I was afraid to even ask him anything. He made it clear that he was done with me and I wasn’t going to fight him on this. I was shook because I had never seen that side of him.

“I asked you to do one goddamn thing and that trusts me. What’s so hard about it?

While you down my fuckin’ back about a crackhead.

Did the bitch tell you she got a child by yo Ex nigga?

Oh, you ain’t know that huh? But you worried ‘bout me though. One thing you been right about. You don’t deserve me which is why I’m dropping your ass off at a room.

I’m going to give you some money to get on your feet and shit but we done.

I don’t want to talk about shit that ain’t got to do with Kani. ”

I didn’t say anything in return. I didn’t even want the nigga money.

If he knew me then he knew I would know that had some coins saved up for a raining day.

Out of respect, I sat in my seat and didn’t argue back.

What was I supposed to say? He had said it all.

The news about this bitch having a baby from Khi was new but I didn’t give a fuck.

I was over Khi as soon as I realized he was really to blame for our son’s death and not Lucky.

Lucky pulled up to a Hilton and left the car running.

When he came back, he handed me the key and some cash.

To me, I felt like this some leave me alone bullshit, but I wasn’t going to bother him after this.

When and if he wanted to see his son, it would totally be on him.

I was at the point that I was tired of hiding anyway.

“I don’t need the cash. You can keep it.”

“Bless, take the money. You guys need something to wear and shit like that.”

“I’m good. I’ll call my sister to handle all of that for me. Just make sure my car is here in the morning.” I grabbed both kids and got out of his car.

I was selfish, stubborn, and maybe even an asshole at times but I wasn’t a bitch that had to have a man because of money.

I worked from the bottom with nothing, and I was going to do it again.

He wasn’t stopping shit. As I adjusted my son on my hip and grabbed Perc's daughter’s hand, I walked into that hotel with my head held high.

The average person wouldn’t believe that I had just witnessed a murder and watched the love of my life pull away.

I got the kids settled down before I called Merci to come and pick up her stepdaughter so I could be alone.

I order them some room service and waited on her to arrive.

“I already know. Are you okay?” Merci barged in as soon as I opened the door.

“I’m fine. You know I’m going to shake back. I had a feeling the shit wasn’t going to last. Wish the nigga would’ve let me break up with him instead of the other way around.”

“Do I need to take Kani with me?”

“No, he’s fine. I don’t want to be alone and if you take him, it’s only going to make me feel worse.”

“I’m so sorry, sis.”

“Stop apologizing. I’m good. I fucked up and I gotta deal with it.”

“Can you please call a bitch in the morning. Maybe we can go house hunting or something.”

“With it just being me and Kani, I’ll stick to a condo or something. I’m done with houses for a while.”

“Deal.” She hugged me tight and walked out the door.

I had Kani resting on the bed with my phone as he watched educational videos on YouTube. He looked just like Lucky. Just looking at him made me think of how fucked up I really, I was but I had to pick myself up and get it together. I ran a warm bath so we could retire for the night.

By four the next evening, I was signing the lease to my new condo.

I hadn’t told anyone, and I made Merci promise me she would mention shit to Perc.

When Lucky wanted to see Kani, he could call me, and I’ll meet him wherever.

I didn’t want anyone to know where I was which is why I moved in the location I did.

I had security downstairs, and you couldn’t come up to my condo unless given permission.

“Lucky paid the hotel up for weeks. What you gon’ do when he comes looking for you and y’all not there?” Merci asked.

“That don’t have shit to do with me. It’s time for me to start doing me, right? I don’t have to answer to anyone. I’m back being independent and I’m about to get my ass on the ball trying to get me a barbershop. I’ve thought about going into someone else shop to work.”

“Girl please, you’ve been a threat to these niggas for years. You think they gon’ want you in their shit?”

“You got a point. I’ll figure some shit out to keep some money in my pocket.”

“You know if you need anything, I go to you.”

“I don’t need anything; I’m just being precautious before it depletes. You know I like to think ahead.”

“So, when can I help you decorate this condo? You need to add a lil’ spice. You know, just in case you wanna entertain a nigga.”

“Ain’t nobody coming in here. I’m done with the dating scene. Kani will be damn near grown before I let another nigga come into my life.”

“I hate you even thinking like that. It’s cool though. Let me head home before Perc starts asking questions and I don’t want it to slip that I’ve been with you looking for places to stay.”

“Please don’t say shit.”

“Bitch I won’t, damn.”

Before putting the key to the door, I slipped my papers inside of my purse.

As mad as Lucky was with me yesterday, why was the nigga sitting his ass in my room like he was waiting for me to come home?

This was the shit I wasn’t about to deal with it.

He could’ve called and said he wanted to see his son.

I would never keep them away from each other.

“You here to see Kani?”

“Yeah.”

“You could’ve called me and I would have brought him to you.” I walked him over to his dad. “Thank you for dropping the car off to me.”

“Yeah,” he said dryly.

While he played with our son, I went into the bedroom to shut myself off from him.

He was making shit hard for me to move on.

The popping up whenever he wanted to was going to end tonight.

We both had means of communication and I needed him to use it.

He was going to pop up here in a few days and we’re going to be gone.

I didn’t feel like I owed him shit. He broke up with me.

“When we’re you going to tell me, you meant up with my pops?”

“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. Can you give me some privacy while I shower?”

“You led him right to us and you acting like you don’t care.”

“What do you want me to say, Lucky? You dumped me and that’s it. I shouldn’t have to explain shit else to you. As long as I’m taking care of your son properly then there should be no problem between us. All I ask is that you hit me up first when you want to see him.”

“I broke up with you because you dumb as fuck. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you just like my child would still be growing inside if you didn’t do something stupid.”

I clapped my hands as I got out of the shower, “There’s the nigga I was waiting on to appear. Every nigga got it in em’ and I thought you were different. Go ‘head let the rest of your feelings pour out nigga. Tell me what else is my goddamn fault,” I screamed.

“You better lower yo fuckin’ voice. You know goddamn well if you would’ve taken yo ass home instead of knocking on my baby mama door, then you would still be pregnant.”

“Nigga you said you didn’t blame me, though. See, that’s what the fuck I’m talking ‘bout. Give me my son so you can leave.”

He pushed me back, “Don’t touch me. I didn’t come here for you. I came here for him.”

“Why the fuck you in here then? I was minding my damn business you started fucking with me.”

“You right. I just wanted to know why you was so flaw. Should've known a muthafucka that fucked with Khi was just as flaw.”

The nigga had just gut punched me, and I couldn’t help but let the tears fall from my eyes.

It was good to know this was how he felt about me.

I didn’t know if he was speaking from his hurt or was it truth to it.

If there was truth to it then why did he marry me?

Why keep having sex with me and getting me pregnant.

“Look, I didn’t mean that shit like that. Let me put him to sleep so I can leave. We both saying some off the damaging shit.”

“Yeah, do that.”

He tried to wipe my tears, but I knocked his hand away.

Lucky said everything he needed to say to me today to let me know this was the end for us.

He walked out of the room, and I closed the door behind him.

I stripped out of my clothes and started the shower.

The only thing that could resonate in my mind was him blaming me for losing the baby.

I knew it was my fault. That was my karma for going over there showing my ass without knowing what was going on.