Page 27

M erci fixed my hair as I did my makeup.

We weren’t doing anything big. Tonight, I was letting my mama meet Lucky.

She was trying her best to get rid of their daddy.

I knew how hard it was going to be for her so all I asked is that she not bring him with her.

Lucky was still healing, and it had only been a week since he buried his mother.

Seeing his father was going to set shit off especially with him not coming to the funeral.

“How you think mama gone feel when she lay eyes on Lucky and he look just that other nigga she fucks with.”

“Girl, I don’t know. I’m nervous as hell because you know mama can get wild too if she pushed.”

“Who gon’ push her?”

“Hell, I don’t know. It’s just my nerves.”

We finished up and I slipped on the dress and a pair of slides.

The get together was outside in the yard.

It was a few of Lucky’s people, some of my barbers, and Merci.

It was only about twenty of us. I was enjoying a conversation with Perc about the quarterback that Miami picked when my mama walked in.

I shut my conversation off to get to her so she didn’t feel uncomfortable.

“Hey, mama. Let me introduce you to everyone.”

My mama never got out the house much. She was a true housewife.

Cooked, cleaned, and made sure everyone in her house was happy.

It was time for her to get out and start living.

She showed so much excitement thinking about the birth of her two grandbabies.

Merci was having a girl and now we were about to find out what was growing in my stomach.

“Lucky,” I touched his back. “This is my mother, Charla.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” he brought her in for hug.

She stood there just staring. I knew it was like looking at the younger version of his father. This was the part that I was afraid of. She had so much hurt in her from him that I hoped she didn’t take it out on my husband.

“I can tell by the way you looking at me that you’re thinking about my ol’ man. I’m nothing like him, never will be. I only look like him. Whatever he did to you, I’m sorry but your daughters are in good hands with me and my brother.”

“I’m not worried. I’m just surprised to be here with you. I must apologize too if you feel that I broke up your family. It was nothing like he said.”

“I don’t care about any of that. We are here to have a good time. You are family as far as I’m concerned. I’m in need of a new mother in my life,” Lucky smiled at her.

“My condolences to you and your family,” my mama told him.

“Thank you.”

Damn, I was finally able to breathe a little.

I had Merci open the envelope and get something printed bigger so Lucky and I could open it together.

She knew what I was having, and it was taking everything in her not to say anything.

We waited until everyone ate before we gather around an oversized grammy like envelope.

It didn’t matter to me what I was having.

I was still grasping the fact I was about to be a mother again.

“You ready?”

“I guess.”

“On the count of three,” Lucky said. “One…two…three.” We ripped the huge envelope open, and the three letters hit me in my face like a ton of bricks.

I couldn’t join in on Lucky’s excitement because my heart was about to jump out of my chest. My mama and Merci knew something was wrong and came running towards me.

“Y’all turn the camera’s off,” Merci yelled. “Lucky can you get her in the house so she can cool off.”

Lucky swooped me up so fast and got me in the house. I didn’t want anyone crowding me, so Perc dismissed everyone that wasn’t family.

“What the hell happened out there?” Lucky asked.

“I just got overheated; I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure that’s what it was?” My mama asked.

“Come on ma. Let me get you to the car. It’s getting late and it’s hard to leave from out here when the sun goes down,” Merci winked at me.

“I’mma go run you a bath and I’ll get this shit cleaned up down here.”

“I can do it. I just needed to cool off.”

“You sure.”

“Yeah.”

I took the stairs slowly up to our bedroom and locked myself in the bathroom.

The tears dropped before I could put the toilet seat down.

This was not happening to me. I know I said I didn’t care but I didn’t want to bring another boy into the world.

I didn’t that and he was snatched away from me.

All I could think about was it happening again.

I started some water because Lucky was going to come and see what the fuck I was doing, he cared too much not to.

Before getting in the tub, I unlocked the door.

Something that was supposed to be exciting turned-out sour.

Friends and family captured a moment that I’ll never forget.

Seeing the word boy sent a chill down my spine that I couldn’t shake.

I had to be honest with Lucky and tell him the truth.

If I didn’t and something happened to his son because of some shit I didn’t tell him, I would never be able to live.

Everyone was gone and Lucky was rubbing oil on my feet since I couldn’t reach them anymore.

It felt so good with the amount of pressure he applying to my feet.

I would cut three heads a day before he was forced to make me come home.

That was how I stopped from being stir crazy in the house.

I had also just got the blueprint for my new shop that I was planning to open next year.

Merci thought I was playing with her, but I really want her to manage that one.

I needed her help and I knew the extra money would be lovely in her pockets.

“What you think about the size of the new shop? You wanna downsize it or make it bigger?”

“It’s the perfect size. If anything, we can go down a few feet. I don’t see why it has to be that big.”

“Man, you gon’ be the biggest barber in the city. Fuck what them other niggas doing. They gon’ be threatened by your lil’ ass. I got it that big so you can do some barber classes or some shit like that out of there.”

“No, I can’t do that. No one is going to humble themselves and ask for my help.”

“That’s their lost then. On a better note, what you wanna name our son?”

“We can just name him after you.”

“Nah…nah. I hate my fucking name.”

“We can call him Lil’ Lucky like Pac did on Poetic Justice.”

“What I look like calling my son Larry. That shit lame and old as fuck. Let’s do some shit like Kason or something.”

“Ka…Kason? Why that?”

“I just like it. Why you stuttering?”

“Nothing I don’t wanna name him that.”

“You really tripping. You was just about to name our baby Larry but you don’t like Kason.”

“Why you so hell bent on naming our son that. I don’t like it,” I became aggressive.

“It means something to me. But fuck it if you ain’t feeling it.”

“Why is it so special to you?” I removed my feet and sat up on my knees. I would consider the name if he explained further.

“I knew a lil’ nigga named Kason and I said if I ever had a son, I’ll name him that.”

“Where did you know him from?” My curiosity was piqued.

“I didn’t know him, know him. But he holds a special place in my heart.”

“Where he at? I’ve never met him, and you never mentioned him.”

“He’s dead.”

My heart skipped a beat.

“Dead how?”

“Gunshot wound to the neck and torso.”

I fell back off my knees and stared at Lucky. He rubbed the rest of the oil into his hands and looked back at me to see if I was okay.

“Look, don’t be so dramatic. The shit fucked with me too and it still do.”

“Where you there?” I asked.

“Fuck you talking ‘bout bae?” He reached out to touch me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why you tripping?”

“Kason was my son.”