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T he pictures of my baby sat on the coffee table as I cried.

A few days ago, I thought I could go through the abortion proceed but I couldn’t.

I didn’t want to take the chance of killing my baby and it was Perc’s.

The sonogram confirmed to me that it was in fact his.

I looked over my calendar several times.

I even went through my text thread and DMs with Ben to add updates.

Instead of me being happy about it, I was sad as fuck.

Perc would never believe me if I told him.

He made it clear that day he walked out that we were done.

To put a stamp on it, he blocked me from his phone and deleted me off all his shit.

I had no other choice but to live with it.

Now that I knew who my baby belonged to, I cut off my communication with Ben.

He tried buying the car, but I didn’t want it.

Anything that connected me to him, I got rid of.

I did the same shit to Perc too. Maybe now that we weren’t fucking around, his baby mama would leave me the fuck alone.

I looked around my condo and became disgusted with myself.

This was so unlike me. Usually, I was happy and dressed up just to take pictures for Instagram.

Lately, all I did was lay around and cry.

Pregnancy was supposed to be a happy moment but without anyone to share it with, what was I supposed to do.

My mama didn’t know, Blessyn didn’t know, and my daddy had already sent me a text about what he heard in the streets, but I hadn’t responded. He was on my shit list too.

“Merci,” a knock on my door and the sound of my sister's voice gave me so much joy. We hadn’t talked in a month.

“Can you open the door so we can talk. I know you home too because I still have your location on my phone.” I forgot I shared my location with her when I was in Tennessee.

I got up and answered the door. She had a nice tan and glow to her when I opened the door.

“Come on in.”

“I see some shit don’t change,” she said looking around my place.

“You can leave too. I’m done with all your snide ass comments about me. What the hell do you want?” I asked with an attitude.

“I came to apologize for leaving you. You hurt me and I don’t think you thought about that. Talking about Khi is a very sensitive subject to me. It’s like a never-ending nightmare and you slapped me in the face with his infidelities was a low blow.”

“Do you ever realize how condescending you can be towards me? I’m only twenty-three and I’m gonna do dumb ass shit. I’m glad that I have you to get me back in line but it’s the way you do it.”

“I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I know I should be a tad bit softer with you, but I’m tough on you ‘cause the streets is ugly. You fuck with niggas that could kill you. I just want better for you. All that money you make doing hair, why is it not enough?”

“It is. I just like money, and I don’t like to spend my own.”

“Then find one nigga that don’t mind you spending his money and chill with him.”

“I had one but my greed got the best of me.”

“Please don’t tell me you talking about that married ass nigga that’s still trying to start a rap career in his thirties.”

“No, fuck him! I’m talking about Perc.”

“I fucking knew it! Y’all was way too damn close. Are you the reason he’s been so sad? He may come in and cut two heads. Then he sits in the chair going through his phone for hours.”

I walked over to my table and picked up the sonogram to show her.

“Is this…I’m about to be an auntie? Merci, please tell me this is not a joke. I’m so excited that I’m getting sick.”

“It’s true. I almost got rid of it. Made it all the way to the clinic and couldn’t go through with it alone. I was afraid that it wasn’t Perc’s but now that I got my timeline together, it’s his.”

“Does he know?” My sister looked up at me.

“He knows that I’m pregnant, but he thinks it’s the other nigga baby. He told me he was through with me and I haven’t been right since. I just decided that I was going to do this thing on my own and whenever he decides to blood test the baby, I’ll be ready.”

“You’re not alone because I’m here. Mama and daddy here too.”

“Girl, please. Mama weak ass ain’t here for me.”

“You’re entitled to feel how you want but she loves you too. She made mistakes just like we all do. She’s trying to live pass them and you won’t let her. Tell her about the baby and watch how excited she get.”

“And what about you? You look like you put on ten pounds with this big ass ring on your finger. Are you getting married? Are you pregnant?”

“Huh? No, I’m not pregnant and yes, I’m getting married.”

“So soon? Y’all barely know each other. It’s been a few months and he ready to settle down.”

“Yes, it’s been a few months, Merci but it’s like I’ve known him forever. He keeps it one hundred with me and he don’t hide shit. This is the happiest I’ve been since my son been dead and I don’t want to lose it.”

“I’m happy for you. But my question is are you keeping it one hundred with him? Has he been to your house? Does he know about Khi and Kj? Like, let’s be the fuck for real here.”

“No, I haven’t told him about that. He doesn’t have to know because I’m trying to move past that. Ain’t that what you’ve been hollering? Now that I’m doing it, I’m wrong.”

“Nah, I want you to move on. I never said don’t be honest with a man that’s being honest with you.”

“I will when the time is right.”

“In the meantime, here.” She handed me a pregnancy test.