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“ F uck!” The sound of Lucky’s voice made my heart jump.

If I was hearing correctly, he was fumbling for something.

My hearing was muffled on one side, and it was the same side that I felt a burning sensation on.

“Perc,” He coughed. “We been shot. Get to me nigga. Shittt! Get to Blessyn. She pregnant bruh. We…we at her mama house.”

I tried to move but the bullet in my body had me stiff.

My lips were moving but nothing was coming out.

Lucky was slumped over between the passenger and driver seat.

I was trying to tell him I was okay, but my voice was gone.

Every time he took a breath, he was gurgling.

Perc was screaming through the phone, but Lucky had dropped the phone a long time ago.

It seemed like we had been sitting in the truck bleeding for a while, but I know only a few seconds had gone by.

I thought for sure my mama would’ve come running out the house by now.

I thought if I talked to myself, I would be able to find the strength that I needed to get the fuck out of the truck.

Since Lucky wasn’t able to do anything, I had to do something to get us some help.

It was an eerie feeling that consumed me.

My mama house wasn’t hard to find but who would be riding around looking for Lucky or me this time of night?

The longer I sat in the back seat of his truck, I felt like the person would come back and finish the job.

“Hey, is everyone okay? I have the police on the way.”

I turned my eyes slightly to the woman that stood to the truck. She was the neighbor that had just moved in across the street from my mama. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

“Don’t talk baby. Just hold on.”

I looked at Lucky’s body to see if he was still breathing.

The gurgling noise had stopped a few minutes ago and I was worried that he had choked on his own blood.

I hadn’t even gotten the window down all the way before the shot went off.

Shattered glass sat in my lap and some had penetrated my hand.

The woman didn’t leave our side but I was concerned about my mama.

Why hadn’t she come outside to check on us?

Did she know about this shit? What about my baby?

Lucky moved his leg giving me a glimpse of hope that he was still alive.

I wanted to call out his name but the more I moved the tighter my throat got.

Reaching my hand up to my neck, I realized I was shot in my neck.

The thick red blood, the color of crimson covered my fingers.

Everything was rushing to my head. My mama, my son, and Perc’s daughter.

Not to mention Lucky’s body lying before me and I wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not.

“They’re a few minutes away. Hold on, baby,” I mouthed.

I closed my eyes and held back the tears that were trying to fall. Death seemed to follow me no matter what I tried to do. As good as I was to people, there was always someone or something coming for me. A few moments later my door was pulled open and a flashlight was in my face.

“Ma’am, I’m here to help you. Can you tell me what happened?” An EMT worker asked.

I raised my hand to point at my neck. For the third time, I tried to talk and nothing would come out. Now even a whisper. I sat and watched as another EMT opened the driver's side door to check Lucky’s pulse. He then reached over and checked his neck.

“Nothing,” he told his partner.

“Call the coroner so he can call time of death.”

I lost it. I started kicking and trying my best to get to Lucky. He wasn’t dead. There was no damn way he was dead. He promised me he would never leave me and Kani.

“Ma’am, calm down. You have a bullet lodged in your neck and if you move wrong, you’ll be paralyzed.”

My man was dead and I didn’t know where the fuck my mama or son was at the moment.

It was like I was reliving the same shit over again when I lost Kj.

This shit couldn’t be happening again. Everything I loved was taken away from me.

If this is how my life was going to be, I didn’t want to live anymore.

They wanted me to calm down but no one understood what the fuck I was going through at the moment.

I couldn’t calm down. All Lucky wanted to do was get his family back.

Not that I was going to fall that easy but I didn’t want to remember him like this.

This wasn’t happening to me right now. They gave me one shot to my hip and I was out like a light.

For a brief moment, I thought I was dead.

When my eyes opened, all I saw was a bright ass light.

A part of me didn’t want to be alive. Not if Lucky didn’t make it.

It was my fault that he was even trying to roll the damn windows down because I thought it was my mama bringing us the baby.

Then I heard voices. None of them sounded familiar which put me on high alert.

I raised my hand to get their attention.

My pain was gone but I felt numb all in my neck area. There was a tube down my throat.

“Relax. Relax. Let me call the doctor so we can remove the tube from your throat and she can talk to you about your injuries,” the nurse told me.

An hour later I was able to breathe on my own. My throat was sore but I could whisper and that was more than I could last night.

“I know your happy to get that tube out of your throat but listen to me carefully. I still don’t want you to do much talking.

Your vocal cord took a hit from the bullet.

We repaired it but it’s going to take you some time to get your voice back completely.

You’ve been here a week so far and your neck is healing well. ”

Did this muthafucka say a week? There was no way I laid in the bed this long. I gestured for her to give something to write with. I had a few questions to ask. I jotted down a few things and waited for her response.

“I’m really not at liberty to say anything about Larry. You’re my concern. As far as your son, I’m not sure about that either. Now the baby growing inside of you is doing just fine. You’re early in your pregnancy. I can get an officer or someone in here to speak with you.”

When they walked out, I reached my hand up to touch my neck.

It was wrapped up in gauze. The tears started to fall from my eyes just thinking about the conversation I had with Lucky right before all this shit happened.

The door popped open and the female detective that was helping me find Merci walked in alone.

“I’m so glad to see you up. I’ve stopped by every day since this happened to you.”

“My son?” I whispered. “Lucky?”

She walked closer to the bed, “Your son is fine. He and the little girl survived the shooting. Your mother didn’t make it.”

My soul was snatched right out of me. Everyone around me was dying. How the fuck was I going to make it?

“I’m not supposed to disclose this information but Lucky’s brother Perce had him moved.

He went into cardiac arrest twice but they were able to revive him.

I’m not sure where he is and I’m sure, Perce will be here to see you.

He currently has the children with him. When you’re able to talk more.

I want to know everything you know because I want to personally put whoever did this to you and your family behind bars. ”

“Behind bars? I want them dead,” I strained.

She looked at me and gave me a concerned look.

I had never wanted someone dead like I wanted the person responsible.

Damn near everything was taken away from me and I could’ve lost my son that night.

There were details and questions that I had but right now wasn’t the time.

I needed to heal so I could take care of my child.

“We will do all we can to get this person behind bars. I’ll be in touch.”

Two days later…

I was finally able to sit up on the side of the bed.

There was still a tube running down to my stomach to feed me and swallowing was one of the hardest things I had to do.

My voice was still a whisper and I was working with a speech pathologist twice a day.

I asked where my cell phone was at but no one knew.

Then I remembered after Lucky text me that night, I never brought it outside with me. It was still at my mama house.

It was like I was stuck in the hospital clueless.

My mama’s body was laying down in the morgue waiting on me.

Merci was still missing and Perc hadn’t shown his ass up yet with my son.

Last night I tried my best to come up with a plan to get myself out of here but my nurse wasn’t having it.

I used my mama as an excuse and then I used my son.

She still didn’t budge. If I could just see Kani, I would feel so much better.

The door popped open and I could hear little feet behind the curtain.

With my neck begin fucked up, I couldn’t turn around as fast as I wanted to, to see who it was but if my heart was correct and the if my nose wasn’t betraying me, it was definitely Perc.

The weed he smoked was always loud and filled whatever room he was in.

“My muthafuckin’ sister is up from the dead,” Perc said.

My back was turned to them but I couldn’t help but cry when I heard his voice. Way before there was me and Lucky, Perc was always my dawg. He never let anything happen to me or anyone says some off the wall shit. Nothing could fuck up our connection and now we needed each other more than anything.

“I’m so happy to see y’all,” I wiped my tears before grabbing my son. It was like I hadn’t seen him in forever. “Please don’t tell me you been letting him eat everything?”

“Stop talking and just enjoy your time with your son. That bitch ass nurse gon’ try and tell me not to bring the kids in here ‘cause you need to rest. I told her ass you needed to see your fuckin’ son. It’s all you got right now.”

“Lucky?”

“Listen, I almost lost my brother. If he dies, I don’t know what the fuck I would do, man.

This shit with Merci fuckin’ with me and then this.

I had him moved outta the city. Somebody wants us dead, and until then, I don’t want his body layin’ up in this hospital while he heals.

Pussy ass nurses may take a bribe or some shit.

Next thing we know, somebody gon’ in his room to finish him off.

Nah, fuck that. As soon as you outta here, I’ll take you to him.

He’s fucked up right now and he don’t really look like himself but he gon’ pull through. ”

“I gotta get outta of here.”

“I got the kids. Don’t worry ‘bout that. I’ll make sure when you’re ready to bury your mama, that I got that too. Just focus on healing. If I can get you close to Lucky, then maybe he’ll get his ass up.”

I didn’t want to even think about burying my mama.

She was innocent in all this and was just starting to get her life back from all the evil Lucky them daddy did.

I was ready to send her ass on a trip for her birthday and now she’ll never see again.

If she wasn’t up worrying about Merci, she would’ve been in bed and could’ve still been alive.

Right now, as I held my son, all I could think about is being able to live another day to be his mama.