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M y heart was racing when I woke up. All I wanted was Merci to be somewhere safe and to get that call from the hospital made my life better.

The nurse that called told me that Merci had some memory loss, but she remembered my name and her sister Blessyn’s name but the only number she would keep repeating was mine.

The sun hadn’t come up yet but I was anxious to see her.

Months went by with me thinking I would never see her again.

I was willing to kill everyone that was involved with her being dead.

I couldn’t help but think about what Jaydee said.

He left her for dead and now I hated that Lucky killed him before he was able to tell us who paid him to kill her.

I didn’t give a damn now. Hopefully, Merci could tell me something.

Just being able to touch her again was all I wanted.

Not only did I need her but my daughter needed her too.

She walked around calling her name all the time.

Around five I got up and rolled a blunt.

Not wanting to wake anyone up, I stepped outside and sat on the porch.

It was crazy how normal my life was just a few months ago.

Besides my drama with my baby mama, I looked forward to chilling in the barbershop and then collecting my money on the streets.

I wanted normalcy back in my life. I’m sure Lucky wanted the same thing, especially with Blessyn being pregnant again.

“You okay?” Blessyn came and sat next to me. This was the first time we had really been alone to talk.

“Yeah, but I’ll feel better once I see her.”

“Me too. I see you showered and got them clothes off you.”

“If you are waiting for me to tell you what me and my brother did, I’m not doing it. That’s my brother, and I love him with everything in me. I know he’ll lay his life down for me just like I would for him. If he didn’t tell you then I can’t tell you.”

“It’s like that?”

“Blessyn it’s just certain shit that happens that you may never know ‘bout. I can tell you this though. Lucky will never bring harm to his doorstep. He loves you and Kani too much. I understand you’re hurting from a lot of things, but he is too.

Loosen up on my brother ‘cause I don’t wanna see him unhappy with someone else when he can be happy with you. ”

“I love your brother, but he doesn’t understand how I feel Perc.”

“Don’t know what fuckin’ planet you on but Lucky understands you.

I’ve been around when he’s tried to communicate, and you wave his ass off.

It’s hard to be with the man that killed your son.

I get all that but guess what? That nigga been here and he’s regretted ever since that day.

He tried to meet you the day it happened, but the nurses told him you didn’t want any visitors. You wanted time alone with your son.”

“I didn’t know that. So, he knew me?”

“Nah, he never laid eyes on you. I believe if he would have, y’all would not be together.”

“True.”

“Real talk, don’t be so rough with his heart. It’s like he lost Kj too. I never saw him so soft in my life, but it changed him and that’s a good thing because if you would’ve got the old Lucky, you’ll be just another muthafucka he fucked.”

The sun was starting to peek through the clouds. In a few hours I was about to reunite with my baby. Today was special because it was her birthday. Nothing I could buy her would be able to tell her how much she meant to me.

“Let’s go get these kids ready for this flight. Ain’t no telling how they’re going to act,” Blessyn told me.

I thought my daughter was going to have a hard time flying but it was actually me. The lady I sat next to had gone to sleep on my shoulder as soon as we took off and Lucky was laughing and taking pictures while I was suffering.

“You look a little sick. I never seen a hood nigga not take at least one flight,” Lucky said.

“Nigga everybody ain’t high class like you. If I can’t drive to that muthafucka then I don’t wanna go. This dying shit is for the birds and look at this muthafucka about to slob on me.” I pushed the woman off me and her head landed on the window, making her wake up.

The plane was crowded, and we managed to get the only seats left on this small ass plane.

I had already told Lucky if we couldn’t get first-class back then I was driving.

Ain’t no way in the hell I was going to sit my ass on a cramped-up plane.

This wasn’t my thing. I was used to only going within driving distance.

As I sat the rest of the plane ride and thought about it, that may be why Merci never really settled down with a nigga.

The furthest I would take her is to the mountains which were in driving distance.

If we were going to be together, I had to do better on my end. Everything wasn’t Merci’s fault.

California was nothing like I expected it to be.

Atlanta was a grimy ass city, but LA was some real street shit.

The air was different, and the culture was different as well.

Everyone appeared to be rich but it was nothing like that Atlanta rich, you really had to be rich to live the fuck out here. We took an Uber to the hospital.

“You nervous?” Lucky asked.

“As fuck,” I rubbed my hands on my jeans. “It’s been a few months. What if she doesn’t remember shit but my name?”

“I hope when she sees us, she’ll remember more. I’m so excited to see her. I missed my damn sister. After she gets well, I’mma slap the shit outta of her for leaving and not telling me. We don’t rock like that,” Blessyn stated.

The drive took us a little longer than expected due to traffic.

I grabbed my daughter and jumped out of the SUV as soon as it pulled up to the entrance of the hospital.

None of us knew where we were going and it didn’t matter.

Blessyn stopped at a desk and asked where she was located.

Merci was moved out of CCU to a normal room.

I thought the elevator ride would never end.

When the doors popped open, we were greeted by a young black nurse.

“Blessyn?” She held her hand out to greet Blessyn.

“Yes,” she shook her hand.

“And you must be Perce.”

“I am.”

“Okay, so let me tell you guys now. Every day she’s getting better with her memory.

Today she was able to remember her mama’s name and something about a baby she had but died.

The scan of her brain states that memory loss is only short term.

Don’t be upset if she doesn’t remember certain things.

I wanted to tell you both because as her sister, Blessyn it’s going to be harder for you,” the nurse told us.

“We understand. We just want to see her. You gotta understand we thought she was dead,” I told her.

“Technically she was but a little girl saved her life. She was left for dead, but we won’t relive that. We’re glad she’s here with us. You guys can follow me.”

The door opened and Merci was sitting up in bed eating.

She was skinnier than I had ever seen her.

Apparently, she tried to get herself together for us, but her hair was so thick that she couldn’t get it all in a ponytail.

It didn’t matter her appearance right now.

She was alive and well. My daughter called her name out but Merci didn’t notice her so I wouldn’t let her down.

She started crying so I stepped out for a second to get her together.

When I walked back in, Blessyn was holding her sister and crying.

“I’mma take the kids for a little walk. You and Blessyn enjoy this time with her,” my brother took my daughter out of my arms and juggled them both out of the room.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea that this was going to happen to me. Maybe if I hadn’t left, mama would still be alive,” Merci said as she wiped her eyes.

“Don’t apologize. We’ve all made mistakes that we can’t take back. Perc and I are just excited that you are alive. Mama’s death had nothing to do with you. When you get better, we’ll talk about it,” Blessyn told her as she waved me over.

“Is that true, Perc? You standing there like you don’t really wanna be here.”

“I gotta a lot of emotions running through me right now. I’m happy as hell you’re alive and I’m not mad but I don’t wanna touch you right now. Nothing against you it’s just me getting myself together.”

“I’mma catch up with Lucky. I’ll let y’all get some alone time and then I’ll come back to braid this thick ass hair down,” Blessyn brushed her hair back with her hand.

I stood in the room with Merci like we strangers.

This was not how I was expecting our first encounter to be.

It was weird seeing her. All I could think about was us having sex the night before she left.

She promised me that she was going to call the nigga and tell him that she wasn’t coming but she still ended up leaving.

Now she sat here like things were going to be normal.

I loved her but Merci couldn’t be trusted.

Something this traumatic should have been the wake up call she needed.

“I know you’re pissed off with me and I know I lied to you.

At first, I didn’t know why I was here and then I had a dream about the last time we spent together.

You told me to cancel a trip. I couldn’t remember your name, but I knew I had to be comfortable with you because I let you in my home.

I remember my condo because it was my favorite place. ”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I don’t want to think about the thought of you thinking you had to sneak and leave. It would’ve been better for you to keep it real with me.”

“I know. I should’ve just told you. You know how I was and if a nigga was going to spend a bag on me for a trip, I was going,” she shrugged.

“Look where that bag got you. Everything ain’t ‘bout a fuckin’ bag. The same bag I got if not more, but it wasn’t good enough. If you wanted trips, then why not say that?”

Merci laid her head back on her pillow and stared at the ceiling. She let the tears roll down the side of her face. I got closer to her so I could wipe her tears. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

“Perc, I gotta tell you something. I don’t want you to get mad with me.” I wiped her tears. “Please don’t be mad with me.”

“I’m not gon’ get mad.”

“I’m pregnant.”

I snatched my hand away from her and stormed out of the room.