Page 5 of Alexander: Alexander's Story

Even with all that, I can’t will my body to reach out. I shake my head reluctantly, and he drops his arm back down to his side.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to do it, you know,” he says with exasperation and maybe some shame, looking down at his feet while he speaks.

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want you to…” I say back, soft, like I’m back in the woods and a baby deer is laid out in pain before me.

“I’m not a good person, Emma.”

Emma. The way he says my name…that he noticed my name. I mean, it’s loud and proud on my name tag, but most people don’t take notice.

“Few people actually are,” I say in defense.

“Yet somehow, I get the feeling you’re one of the few.” He looks me in the eyes, and it’s like a shock to the system. Like I know his pain without knowing him. I can practically feel it, too.

I shrug because I do think I’m a good person. But did I just cut out on my closing duties?Yeah. So maybe I’m not the best person. But decent? A hundred percent. Because I’ve been around shitty people. Bad people. And I know that I am far and away from being bad people. And so is Table 19.

“I would say the same about you.”

He sighs, his broad shoulders rising up before slowly falling. “You wanna know why I’m here?”

Desperately. I would give anything for him to just keep talking. So I nod.

“I came here to find someone to marry. Someone just drunk enough that they would choose me. Just lost enough…” his voice trails off. “I sound like a fucking predator when I say it out loud. And I’m not a predator or a murderer or anything, just to be clear.”

“Sounds like something a predator-slash-murderer would say.” I feel nothing but relief when he almost chuckles at my remark. It’s not fully formed, maybe just a scoff, but it warms me from the inside out. It does more than warm me; it’s a singe.

“I swear I don’t own any windowless vans.” He holds up his right hand in a pledge, in what I think is his attempt at a joke. This time, I laugh involuntarily. It surprises me.

With an almost smile on his face, he drops his hand and asks, “Any chance you’d want to grab a coffee or something since I can’t reimburse you for the breakfast?”Oh.The look on my face has him backtracking, though. “You know, actually, I forgot it’s the week before Christmas, and you probably have somewhere to be or people to get home to.”

I don’t.

I shake my head. “No. I really don’t.” I sound quiet and pathetic because I am. I used to have people, but honestly, it’s better this way. “I would accept a coffee…on one condition.”

“What’s that?” he asks cooly, almost as if he’s prepared to give me whatever I demand.

“Your name. What’s your name?” That same, not-quite-a-smile passes across his lips.

“Alexander.”

Alexander.

TWO

Alex

I wish you’d stay.

That’s all she wrote on the zeroed-out check.I wish you’d stay.

I’m running again, aren’t I? The ultimate escape?Fuck.

“Is there somewhere we could walk to?” I ask as she wraps her arms around herself, smirking at my question.

“Not anywhere worth going.”Fair enough.“Um, I can drive,” she volunteers.

I nod graciously. “Alright then.”

Leading me to a late model Honda Civic, she sheepishly unlocks the car for both of us.