Page 137 of Alexander: Alexander's Story

I throw my clothes in a pile, slip into bed, and wait for sleep to take me.

At some point, I doze but wake to the sound of a gentle knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I sit up partially, worry thrumming through my bloodstream. The door cracks open, and Emma steps a bare foot inward.

“I can’t sleep,” she whispers into the dark.

I immediately move over, pushing the covers back to make room for her, letting her take the warm side of the bed.

She closes the door behind her and pads into the room, then into bed beside me.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“No problem,” I say, then settle so I’m lying on my side facing her, even though she settles, lying on her side, facing away from me.

I consider rubbing her back or scooting closer, but ultimately, I decide to just let her sleep. Assuming she can. And I assume correctly because, after a few short minutes, I hear her breath deepen, then turn into a gentle snore.

I smile against the pillow and let the sound lure me to the same state as her.

When the color of the room starts to turn gray, my inner alarm clock rings, and I wake up to find myself curled around her. My bare cock is shoved in between her bare ass cheeks, and my hand covers her breast under her shirt.For fucks sake, Alex.My dick twitches, digging deeper, and she pushes back against me.

Wait, does she want this? Is she even awake?

I go to move my hand away, but her hand comes over the top of mine, keeping it there.

“I hate how much I miss you,” she whispers, then releases my hand. I’m positive she can feel the pounding in my chest or feel it in my cock that presses and twitches harder against her.

I’m fumbling with what to say and how to say it. Do I tell her the truth? Do I push her away? I want her back so goddamn bad…but I’m not good for her.

“I-I,” I stutter and stumble.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, Alex.” She gently removes my hand from her breast and scoots her hips away from me.

But I grab her hip and drag her back, whispering into her hair, “I miss you with every fiber of my being, Emma. I miss you while you lie beside me because I know you’re not mine. But I don’t hate that I miss you; sometimes missing you is the only thing that reminds me I’m still alive.”

It’s a burn in my chest, a constant fire that just won’t die.

She rolls over to face me, still in my arms.

“Then why do you insist on pushing me away?”

“Because you can do better than me. I’m not your happiness and joy, Em.” That belongs to someone else.

“Are you serious, Alex?” I nod. Then, unable to stop myself from touching her, I push her hair off her face. “Sitting in the cove with you was the first time I ever felt truly free and safe. I feel that with you all the time. I feel happy when you let me takecare of you. I feel joy every time you laugh. Why?” She strokes my face in turn, “Why do you keep me out?”

“Because you’ll be disappointed if I let you in.”

She shakes her head, then leans in hesitating, but I close the distance. I let her lead, unsure what to expect, and she gently kisses me, wiping a tear off my cheek.

“No, I won’t,” she says with absolute assurance. “In fact, I think I’ll be the one to disappoint you.” I shake my head.

“You could never.”

“You might be surprised–” I cut her off from talking, dropping my mouth onto hers. I try not to consume. I try to just kiss her, but it’s hard. Especially when she’s here, pushing back, trying to take everything I can give her.

I push her onto her back, rolling closer, putting a leg between hers. I thread one hand into her hair while the other roams down, groping a breast, then trailing over her abdomen. And she tenses.

She stops kissing me, and I lean back.

Her eyes are clenched closed like she’s in pain. Like she doesn’t want this. My heart races.

“Alex…I have to tell you something.” In the blink of an eye, I’m ready for the heartbreak, the plummet. Only this time, there’d been no forewarning. No bad gut feelings, just straight to terror.

“I-I’m pregnant.”

to be continued…