Page 133 of Alexander: Alexander's Story

“You should have said something. I could have stopped…” She shakes her head, though.

“No, you needed to be back here. I’ll go find the cafeteria or something,” she rests a hand on my arm, her thumb rubbing gently. “Don’t worry about me,” she says softly. She’s saying softly what feels like a dagger to the heart.I’m not yours to worry about anymore.Itake care of me, notyou.

But I want to.My soul practically cries back. God, how I want to.

When there’s space between us, I can pretend that I’m not thinking about her 24/7. I can pretend like I’m not worried about her in New York City. I can pretend that I don’t need to know if she’s still keeping up with her physical therapy.

But her in front of me… I would give everything for her to let me in.

Anything.

“There’s a vending machine, down the hall, if you make two rights…Actually, I can just show you?” Jess asks, eavesdropping.

“Uh, sure,” Emma replies, excavating herself from me. “Lead the way.”

“Wait,” I stop her as she turns to leave. “You left your bag in the car.” I pull out cash and a card and hand them over to her. I can tell she doesn’t like it, but she reluctantly accepts.

It’s still all hers, anyway. Well, it’s ours.

“I can see why Dad likes her so much,” Matt says, watching her walk away.

“Yeah. Me too.”

As promised, everyone is allowed to visit Connie in rotations.

Matt and Britain go first. Then Niko and Max. Silas doesn’t count as a visitor, so he’s already been back several times. And then it’s mine and Emma’s turn.

I hold the door open for her, and she steps into the dim space.

His eyes are closed, but I don’t think he’s asleep.

“Hi, Connie,” Emma stands beside the bed, taking his hand in hers.

“Sweetheart, you came.”

“If you told me sooner, I would have been here earlier,” she chides him. He opens his eyes slowly, to look at her.

“Didn’t want you worrying about me. How’s school?”What the fuck?“Take a seat,” he pats the bed gently. She perches on the edge, giving him plenty of space.

“It’s good. NYU is abitdifferent than FSU, no surprise there. But it’s a good different. I miss our lunch dates, though.” Should I be concerned that Connie has more game with my wife than me?

“I miss them too,” he closes his eyes again. Probably exhausted. Emma realizes it, too.

“I’m going to give you two some privacy, okay?” she whispers, giving me a pat on the arm as she walks out. I wait two seconds before starting.

“You texted her you were having surgery? This morning?” I watch him smile.

“The second I saw Jess was here, I sent a message.” Fucking meddler. Though I’m grateful for it. I need her here. To just make everything feel okay.

“Well, thank you,” I say, taking his hand in mine. I pull a chair closer, then take a seat. “I didn’t know what I had…”

Connie hums, “Isn’t that the truth, son. But now that you know…”

“I know,” I answer back. “I know.” He squeezes my hand.

“I just need all my kids to be okay, then…”Then what?

“Shut up, Connie. This lot will never be okay,” I tease him, ignoring whatever it is he would have said. “Go to sleep. We’ll be back in the morning, okay?”