Page 102 of Alexander: Alexander's Story

She nods, renouncing the friendliness because she knows. “Twenty-five percent pay increase and I’ll stay.”

“Done.” I leave the kitchen and head straight upstairs to pull out my tux for the cleaners. When I get to the bottom of the stairwell, I can hear she’s up. Probably doing her yoga stretches.

The next week is going to be fucking torture, and I contemplate walking in and ending it right now.

No.She’ll end it with me. In due time, she will. I can wait.

Emma

The fucking worst week of my life…and I’d spentweeksin a coma.

Alex had been…different. He’d been cordial, at most. Just polite enough. Just barely affectionateenoughso as not to raise any real concerns. But we hadn’t been alone in a room together once this week. We’d hardly talked at all. And at the last minute, he invited Becks to join us on our trip to D.C.

She was the one who held my hand during take-off. And landing.

Standing beside him at the hotel reception, I’m actually surprised to find out he didn’t book separate rooms for him and me. So, I guess we will be in a room alone today.

He takes my tote bag off my shoulder and carries both our bags once Becks heads in the opposite direction towards her room.

Once we do drop our bags, I’m nervous about what comes next. Will he leave? Will we just sit there in silence and stare at the walls? Watch meaningless TV?

When he opens the door to our room, a suite actually, I know why he didn’t need to get us separate rooms. We likely wouldn’t cross paths once in the expansive space. My heart cracks instead of soaring over the beautiful rooms.

There would be no cozy hotel hangout sessions. He’ll go to his corner, and I’ll go to mine. Just like at home.

Even in all my pity, I can’t help but audibly gasp at the view of the Washington Monument and rush towards the window inawe. D.C. is a different kind of pretty. It’s not my cup of tea, but palatable in small doses. I can see that.

“This view is amazing. Come look!” I turn and gesture for him to come closer.

“You enjoy it, I’ve seen it before.”Right.

I turn away from the view, taking a seat on the edge of one of the sofas in the living space. This was going tokill me. I stare at my Converse against the plush luxury rug and wonder what the hell I’m doing here. The question mark is back, hanging over my head, smothering me. I wonder what he’s doing herewith me?

Even a fool like me can see he’s obviously not where he wants to be.

“If you’re done, just tell me,” I say with as much resolve as possible.

He runs a hand over his beard and sighs. He doesn’t immediately deny it.

Suddenly, there’s a weight pressing against my chest, and my hands grow clammy.This is the end.

Even though he looks like crap from not sleeping for a week, and even though he looked like the unhappiest man alive, he was still going to look handsome in his tux. And I’m already hating that I won’t get to see it.

I would miss seeing all the other versions of him because he’sdone. I know it.

“I’m done, Em.”Wow. My eyes blow wide open in shock. “I wasn’t planning to do this right now…”Planning?He had been planning.

I stand. “Wow. Okay,” I say shakily, panicking.

There’s just one thing I need to hear, and then I would leave.Just one thing.

“Okay, tell me you don’t love me anymore. O-or tell me what I did wrong.” He doesn’t say anything back. “I just need a littlebit of closure so I don’t lose my mind, okay? Just give me an answer, an-and I’ll go.” Where will I go? Becks’s room, maybe?

“Alex!” I startle him when he gives me nothing. The last thing I need is to end up a pathetic 35-year-old, still obsessing over why her first love dumped her. He just needs to give it to me straight.

“I don’t love you anymore.” I nearly bow over from the forceful pain his statement incurs.Eviscerated.His wordsdestroyme. His words lay waste to my being. His words…are entirely void of any emotion. There’s nothing there, no callousness, but also no kindness. There’s no guilt and no shame.

Maybe he doesn’t love me, but the Alex I know would at least feel bad about that.