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MY FAMILY IS YOUR FAMILY

Hugh

APRIL 5, 2000

W HEN I GOT HOME AND CONFIDED IN M AM ABOUT L IZ’S SUDDEN DROP IN MOOD, SHE gave me a sad smile and told me low moods came hand in hand with bipolar and the only thing I could do to help was to be there for her.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night. My mind was set on panic mode, and I couldn’t shake the horrible, unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Liz was slipping again.

I saw it on her face today.

I heard it in her voice.

The light in her eyes was dimming, and I didn’t know how to reverse it.

I was still tossing and turning when my bedroom door creaked open in the middle of the night, followed by the sound of sniffling.

“No, Claire, the Banshee of Ballylaggin isn’t coming to get us,” I called out in the darkness. The sobbing sounds grew louder, and I sighed in defeat. “Fine.” Holding up my duvet, I patted the mattress beside me and grumbled, “You can sleep with me tonight, but this is the last time.”

The sound of her footsteps filled the air moments before she clambered into bed with me. However, the trembling body that welded itself to mine didn’t belong to my sister. It belonged to…

“Gibs?” Confused, I tried to sit up to switch on my lamp, but the way he was clinging to me made that impossible. “What happened, lad?”

“Hughie.” Sobbing uncontrollably, my oldest friend in the world locked his arms and legs around me. “Hughie.”

“I’m here, lad,” I tried to coax, wrapping an arm around him. “Where’s Caoimhe? Does she know you’re over here?”

Heaving out a choked sob, he shook his head. “N-no.”

“Did you sneak out?”

Nodding his head, Gibs squeezed me tighter. “I want my d-dad.”

My heart sank.

Fuck .

“I know you do, Gibs,” I replied, patting his back. “I know, lad. It’s not fair.”

“I j-just want my d-dad to c-come back,” he continued to cry, burying his face in my chest. “I d-don’t want to g-go home.”

“Did you have another nightmare?” I coaxed, while silently thanking Jesus for sparing me from the horrendous affliction. “Hmm? About our communion day?”

He nodded slowly. “It’s m-my f-fault they died—”

“No, it’s not,” I cut in, heart shredding in my chest. “None of what happened that day was your fault, Gibs. Do you hear me? It was an accident.” Swallowing down my emotion, I steadied my voice before adding, “It was a horrible, awful, terrible thing that happened, Gibs, but it was an accident .” I tightened my arms around his trembling frame. “I know you feel alone in that house since your mam married him, but I promise you that you’re not. You have us. My family is your family, too.” Clenching my eyes shut, I squeezed the shit out of my friend, desperate to soothe his pain. “And you have me, Gibs. You will always have me.”

“Brothers f-forever?” he croaked out.

“Yeah, Gibs,” I promised. “And then some.”