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RUN, AS FAST AS YOU CAN

Lizzie

SEPTEMBER 1, 2003

T ODAY WAS M ONDAY, THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW SCHOOL YEAR, AND I WAS SLIPPING .

I had to be.

The meds I took to help me live a relatively productive life for two years were clearly waning in effectiveness. It was either that, or my body had built up a tolerance to them. That was the only explanation I had for the situation I found myself in.

All summer, I had basked in my brand-new and wonderful ability to sleep a solid eight hours at night without dreaming. I thought I was finally turning a corner. I was out of bed more often than in it, and I shed tears less than I laughed.

My relationship with Hugh had gone from strength to strength, I socialized more often, and I even shook my head when Thor offered me a cookie back in July. Politely, I may add, without the menacing scowl or balled-up fists.

The ship that was my life felt like it had finally reached calmer waters.

When I woke up for school this morning, I felt both rested and relaxed. I brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face, and threw on my fresh, new uniform. I ate breakfast, took my meds, and then caught the bus to school. I took my regular seat on the bus, next to my boyfriend, where we kissed until we arrived at school with swollen lips and plans to sneak off to the library at lunch.

From there, I sailed through my first six classes, hooked up with my boyfriend for a sneaky make-out session at big lunch, attended my last three classes with a Hugh-shaped smile on my face, before reuniting with him on the bus ride home.

All in all, my first day back to school had been as close to perfect as I’d ever experienced.

So why, when I stepped through the gates of my property, after feeling the best I had in years, was I hallucinating?

Why, when I finally seemed to have things going for me, did I experience the scariest, out of body experience in living memory.

The nightmare started after I kissed my boyfriend goodbye before stepping off the bus. From there, I had stood at the gated entrance of my home and waved him off on the bus before skipping through the open gates.

Yeah, I distinctly remembered skipping.

I felt that much joy.

My memories turned hazy after that.

I remembered hearing rustling in the nearby tree line, and I remembered walking over to the trees that lined our driveway on the right-hand side to investigate.

That’s when it happened.

That’s when my mind slipped.

One minute, I was tiptoeing from tree to tree in the hope of catching an up-close glimpse of one of the many wild deer that roamed freely on my mother’s estate, and the next, I was cloaked in darkness.

There was something on my head, covering my face and cutting off my air supply to the point where it was difficult to drag enough air into my lungs. I tried to reach up to rip the scratchy sack-like fabric away, but the unbearable weight on top of my body, pressing me into the dirt, rendered me helpless.

It wasn’t until I heard his voice in my ear and my blood ran cold that I realized I was dreaming.

No, not dreaming.

I had clearly tripped, bumped my head, and landed slap bang into my scariest nightmare to date…

“Did you miss me?” the monster snarled, gripping my throat with one hand, while pushing my thighs apart with the other. “I’m afraid it’s only a flying visit to tie up some loose ends. But I couldn’t resist paying my little munchkin a visit.”

I tried to respond, but I couldn’t see or speak or breathe or move .

Helpless, I flailed on the ground, as the sound of a zipper opening and leaves crunching beneath me filled my ears .

“Have you been a good girl, munchkin?”

I could feel his claws tearing at my underwear .

“Goddammit, why’d you have to be on the rag!”

Oh no, no, no, no, no!

“Fuck it; we can pretend like it’s our first time.”

My body braced itself for the pain I remembered would come next .

“Let’s see if your tight, little body remembers me.”

When it did come, and the monster impaled me, it hurt almost as bad as the first time .

“Pity you’ve grown up so much.”

When I was five .

“I miss how you used to look.”

Grunting and groaning, the monster punished me over and over until my body grew weak .

“Cry, bitch. You know it makes me hard.”

His hand left my throat, and I heaved out a pained cry .

“I said cry, you little whore.”

I cried harder, desperately trying to gather the strength and breath to scream. “Hu…gh…”

“Does Saint Hugh know what a dirty, little whore you are?” the monster snarled, destroying me from the inside out. “Does he know all the ways I’ve had you, munchkin?”

“Hugh,” I screamed, louder now, as I fought to push him off me and wake up. “Hugh!”

“He’ll never have your firsts, munchkin. All of those belong to me,” the monster taunted, gripping my throat tighter than before. “My seed will always be the first to have grown inside you.” He laughed cruelly then. “Does your precious Hugh know that? Huh? Have you been a bad girl while I’ve been gone and told your hero boyfriend about our little arrangement?” He impaled my body so hard I bit my tongue. “Do I need to take care of him like I took care of Caoimhe?”

Shuddering violently, I shook my head over and over while blood filled my mouth and tears fell from my eyes .

“You better hope he never finds out.” Hissing out a sharp breath, the monster grunted loudly and then collapsed on top of me, finally growing still .

My body grew limp beneath his, and I quietly prayed for one of two things to happen: either to die right then or wake up, because I honestly couldn’t take another second of this .

“I have a present for you, a little keepsake to remind you of the filthy whore you are. I’ll leave them right here,” he whispered in my ear, shoving something into the waistband of my skirt. “If you think about screwing me over, I’ll make sure Biggs knows just how big of a whore his little girlfriend is.” The monster laughed cruelly and used both hands to squeeze my throat. “And then I’ll kill him…”

Even in my dream, I lost consciousness. When I finally woke up, I remained perfectly still, not daring to move a muscle out of fear of jinxing myself and passing out again.

Numb, I just laid on my back for a long time, staring at the late-evening sky. How long I’d been asleep, I couldn’t say, but it had to have been several hours because the sun was much lower in the sky.

Turning my head to the side, I stared into the woods and felt a tear trickle down my cheek when a red deer took a tentative step out from behind a tree less than ten feet from where I was lying.

The deer watched me with me with wide, unblinking, brown eyes.

I didn’t move a muscle, momentarily captivated by the raw beauty of this ethereal creature, while a swell of sympathy washed over me.

We were so very similar, this deer and me.

We were both prey .

An owl hooting high in the trees broke our trancelike stare down and the deer quickly skittered away.

“Run,” I whispered, watching it disappear from my view. “As fast as you can.”