Page 30

SWIMMING IN THE DEEP END

Lizzie

DECEMBER 3, 1994

B UBBLING WITH EXCITEMENT , I HELD MY MOTHER’S HAND ALL THE WAY FROM THE changing room to the pool. Mam was still feeling sick and couldn’t go in the water, but she still came when Sinead Biggs invited us today. She said it was a special treat for all of us.

I couldn’t wait to get in the swimming pool, and I could see my friends splashing in the water. But I was trying really hard to be a good girl and not make a mistake because Daddy was here, too, and if I was bad, I wouldn’t get to come to the pool again.

I had to behave myself.

No mistakes .

“Catherine?” Sinead asked, rising from a deck chair at the side of the pool when I approached with my mother. “I’m Sinead Biggs. It’s lovely to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” Mam replied, shaking her hand. “Thank you so much for being so good to Lizzie. I’m forever in your debt.”

“Not at all,” Sinead replied, helping Mammy onto a chair next to hers. “Lizzie is a pleasure. She’s welcome at our home anytime.”

“My son takes the open-door policy in the literal sense,” another woman chuckled from a nearby deck chair. “I swear Sinead sees more of Gerard than I do.” Leaning over the seats, she extended her hand to my mother. “Sadhbh Gibson. You’re Caoimhe’s mother, aren’t you? She’s a credit to you, Catherine. Truly.”

“Thank you so much.” Mam smiled and shook her hand. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet you ladies.”

The three of them started chatting, and I smiled, feeling happy for my mother. It was nice to see her smiling again. Sadhbh and Sinead didn’t stare at her headscarf or give her sad looks. They treated my mother like she was a part of their gang.

Just like how their kids treated me.

“You’re here,” I heard Hugh call out moments before his hand snaked around my ankle. He grinned up at me from the water. “What are you waiting for?”

Looking around, I searched for my father, and when I couldn’t find him, I backed right up before running and jumping into the water.

“Are you crazy?” Hugh laughed, watching me paddle toward him. “You can’t jump in the deep end yet. You’re too small.”

“If you can do it, I can do it.”

He grinned back at me. “Then why are you sinking?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Because I’ve never not touched the bottom before.”

Chuckling, he swam over to me. “Hold on to me.”

I quickly did just that and let him steer us to the edge of the pool. “Here. Use my hand to push up,” he instructed, giving my foot a boost with his hand.

When I got out, I sat back down on the edge and smiled at him. “I have a crush on you.” At least, that’s what Caoimhe said it was. I didn’t know what was happening until I explained all about the flutter-cups. She laughed and told me that I had my first crush.

His cheeks turned bright pink. “You’re not supposed to say that, Liz.”

“But I do,” I told him.

“Yeah, but.” He looked around before saying, “The guys will laugh at us if they hear you say things like that.”

“So?”

“So…” He seemed to think about it for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t know what comes after so.”

I grinned at him. “Do you have a crush on me, too?”

“Jesus.” Blushing, he dipped under the water, reappearing a few seconds later and a lot farther away.

“Wait!” I called after him. “You didn’t answer me.”

“Yes,” he called over his shoulder as he swam back to our friends. “My answer is yes!”

I sprang to my feet and clutched my chest, unable to stop the grin on my face from spreading.

Because he had a crush on me, too.

Hugh Biggs liked me back.

“Come back for me,” I called out, jumping back into the water and kicking my legs.

I didn’t feel the same fear others felt when their heads went underwater or when water went up their nose. The more pain I felt, the calmer my mind grew.

“You are a crazy girl,” Hugh laughed, hooking an arm around me when he swam back to me. “What would you have done if I didn’t swim back for you?”

“I knew you would,” I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck as he swam us over to the shallow part.

“Oh yeah?” he teased, releasing me when I could stand. “How?”

“Because I trust you,” I told him. “You make me feel safe.”

That seemed to confuse him because his brows furrowed together. “You’ll always be safe with me.”

“I know.” I splashed him with my hand. “No matter what, right?”

“Yeah, Liz,” Hugh chuckled, splashing me back. “No matter what.”