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BLOOD-DRENCHED TOWELS AND brOKEN GOODBYES

Hugh

APRIL 5, 2000

“H OLY FUCK ,” I CHOKED OUT, FALLING OFF THE COUCH WHEN L IZ FINALLY EMERGED from the bathroom looking deathly pale and carting several bloodstained towels. “What happened?”

“Nosebleed,” she replied quietly, moving for the utility room. “I’ll be fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Rushing to intercept her, I grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “What happened?”

“I told you,” she snapped, sounding emotional. “I had a nosebleed.”

“Liz, you were holding your stomach when you went into that bathroom, so I know you didn’t have a nosebleed. Besides, a nosebleed wouldn’t cause this much…” My words trailed off and I stared at the towels in horror. “Did you do something to yourself?”

“No, I had a fucking nosebleed, Hugh!” she screamed, shoving past me and moving for the washing machine. “Why are you always doubting me!”

“I’m not doubting you, Liz,” I tried to coax, thrown off-kilter by both the blood and her sudden shift in mood. “But that’s a lot of blood.”

“I don’t want to fight with you,” she choked out, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead. “I’m just…” Liz shook her head and burst into tears. “I don’t know what happened to me.” She threw the towels on the ground and shuddered violently. “What’s happening to me, Hugh?”

The fear in her eyes made my chest hurt, and I quickly closed the space between us. “Come here.”

Liz came willingly, barreling into my arms.

“It came out of me,” she cried, shaking violently. “There was so much of it.”

“The blood?”

Nodding, she buried her face in my neck.

Fuck.

It was her period.

Mam gave me the talk years ago. She told me that some girls had really heavy ones. I knew Liz got hers, but I didn’t know it could be so fucking bad.

Unsure whether I should ask Liz about her cycle or if that would only make her feel worse, I decided to do something productive instead.

“Come on,” I coaxed, hooking an arm around her waist and leading her out of the utility room. “Let me take care of you.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, leaning heavily against me on the staircase. “I ruined our last day together.”

“Today isn’t our last day together,” I replied, taking all her weight as I led her back to her room. “We have eighty years’ worth of tomorrows to spend together.” When I pulled back the covers and helped her into bed, I locked eyes on a large bloodstain on her pajama bottoms.

Christ, I was so glad that I would never have to deal with a period.

Females get the raw end of the deal .

“Can I get you anything?” I asked, sitting down beside her. “Hmm?” Reaching over, I stroked her cheek with my thumb. “What usually helps with the pain?”

“You.” Tears filled her eyes, and she gripped my forearm. “You help.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a hot water bottle,” I mused, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Do you want some painkillers?”

“You,” she repeated, clinging onto my arm. “Just you.”

“You have me,” I whispered, feeling too much for this girl. “You’ll always have me.”

“I don’t want to go tomorrow,” she choked out, crying hard now. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

I didn’t want her to go, either. “It’s only for a little while,” I coaxed, heart breaking. “I’ll message you every day.” Smiling, I added, “And think of all that Texan sunshine.”

“Sunshine means nothing to me if you’re not in it.”

“Liz—” My voice cracked. “I’ll be here when you get home.”

“I know.” She tightened her grip on my arm. “That’s the only thing keeping me going.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t want to be alive without you.”

“Don’t say that, Liz,” I warned, feeling my heart crack clean open in my chest. “Don’t you ever say that again.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “It’s the truth.”

“If anything ever happened to you, it would destroy me,” I admitted, unable to make the tremble in my voice. “You are my whole world, Lizzie Young, so don’t you dare talk about not being alive.”

“I love you so much,” she sobbed, chest heaving violently. “I love you, Hugh. I do, I swear I do.”

“I know you do, and you know I love you back,” I croaked out, hating the way my eyes were starting to water. “Listen, Caoimhe’s babysitting Gibs tonight. Why don’t you come home with me? Your sister can pick you up after she’s finished.”

“No.” Sniffling, she wiped her eyes. “I don’t want your sister to see me like this. Claire hasn’t started her period yet, and this’ll just scare her.”

“Claire lives on cloud nine,” I tried to persuade her. “She won’t notice a thing, I promise.”

“I think I’ll stay home.” She sniffled again, but this time she forced a watery smile. “Just to be safe.”

“You okay, bud?” Caoimhe asked on the drive home later that evening. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I’m worried about Liz.”

“Why?”

“She was bleeding a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her period.” I shifted in discomfort. “It was a bad one.”

“Ah, the joys of womanhood,” Caoimhe mused. “I thought she was due on. She was complaining of cramps all day.”

“Yeah, except that she’s not a woman, Caoimhe,” I shot back, still peeved with how dismissive she was of her sister’s nightmares. “And she’s been going through this crap since she was nine.” I sighed heavily. “It’s not fucking fair.”

“Well, aren’t you a walking green flag,” Caoimhe teased with a chuckle. “Listen, relax. By this time tomorrow, we’ll be basking in the sun and Liz won’t have time to think about period cramps.”

“Will you look after her?”

“Duh, she’s my sister.”

“No, I’m serious.” I stared hard at her side profile. “I need you to look after her, Caoimhe.”

“Yeah, Hugh, okay.” She gave me a puzzled look. “I always do.”

“Will you check on her when you get home tonight?” I added, shifting in discomfort from the knot building in my stomach. “Even if she’s asleep, can you just go in and make sure?”

“Don’t worry, Romeo,” she teased. “I promise to check on your little lovebird when I get home.”